Broken
by Layla Crimson
Summary: AU, something went drastically wrong with Tentoo, and Rose is left to deal with the consequences. Can her friends help her pick up the pieces afterwards? Does she even want them to? Warning, Dark fic, some trigger warnings, will be posted at the beginning of each chapter. Rated M for dark themes
1. Chapter 1 - Arrival

**Warning, this is a very dark story with character death and attempted suicide. **

Something went very, very, very wrong. Perhaps it was the fact that he was a meta crisis clone that was half human. It could have been the fact that he had been dropped in the parallel universe mere hours after he was created. Possibly it could have been the fact he was completely alone in his head, without even the TARDIS. The piece of coral he had from the original just couldn't adapt to this universe and died. Regardless of the why, he went slowly and utterly mad.

It was the little things at first that Rose tried to brush off as adjusting to a new life. He'd give her this look that caused an icy feeling in her gut. It was a cross between calculation and speculation, but something about it was off. Like he was looking at her like she was a particularly fascinating insect. It was the way he ate pears and hated bananas. Her little brother wouldn't go anywhere near him.

They tried to look after him. Helped set him up with identification, a place to stay when he claimed he needed space to figure things out. He was even offered a job at Torchwood, though in hindsight that was what brought everything crashing down.

Oh he tried to pretend well enough. He seemed happy in his job working with alien artifacts, doing his part to protect the earth. Even took Rose on a couple of dates, they didn't end particularly well. Still the signs were there.

She did her best to look after him, but the wheel of time seemed to be grinding down on them both. He was her responsibility after all, but some days were harder than others. Some days she just wanted to give up, but she couldn't admit he was more than she could handle. Rose didn't want to admit what happened behind closed doors. When he started showing signs of aging, and she didn't, it just made things worse.

He had found an old artifact he seemed particularly enthralled with. It had a unique energy signature that he spent days on end studying. Perhaps that was what in the end triggered everything. There really is no way of telling now.

It all happened on a Tuesday. It was just a normal Tuesday, nothing really special. Even the weather was nice and calm; you would think a storm should have been brewing for what was to happen. The only thing out of the ordinary is that the Doctor was visiting Torchwood Cardiff with Rose along as his minder.

Later on she would swear that she only left his side for a few minutes, twenty at the most. She had visited the ladies room and been stopped by someone that recognized the heiress and wanted to talk. When she finally pried herself away, it was already too late.

The ground shook as Rose raced towards the lab the Doctor was in. As she burst through the door, alarms were blaring and shots were being fired. She didn't have time to think, only to react as her training took over. Her gun was in her hand as she tried to locate the threat.

There were several agents down on the ground bleeding, as someone held a gun on the scientists that were huddled in a corner. She couldn't see them clearly and her heart nearly stopped when she realized she couldn't spot the Doctor in the clutch of scientists. Rose battened down the worry and grief. She could check the bodies on the floor later. They were mostly likely dead already with the placement of the shots and blood on the floor, the scientists were still alive. There might only be one shot at this, she would have to do her best.

Swiftly coming out of cover she started aiming for the man with the gun, and then froze. Her heart fractured, as she recognized the madman with the wild brown hair. It was the Doctor, and he was at the controls of a machine that was doing something. She felt detached, and it was like someone else was doing the shouting. "Doctor, what do you think you are doing?!"

He turned towards her, gun still in hand. It was then she could see what she didn't want to look for before. It was clear in his eyes that his lack of regard didn't extend to just her, it encompassed the rest of reality as well. In this moment she finally saw, and acknowledge his madness, the words that came out of his mouth next only confirmed it. "There you are, now hurry up! I've adjusted the machine; we just need a couple of those pods they were working on to travel in. We don't have much time before the Rift rips too far open and things will get quite messy here."

Rose lowered her gun slightly, moving closer to him. She looked over to the scientists that looked terrified as the Doctor kept the gun on them as he worked the machine in front of him. "What do you mean, rips open and getting messy, Doctor, what have you done?"

He gives her a dark look, clearly irritated. "Exactly what I said, we are getting out of here, using the Rift to get back to our own universe. I should have the Tardis, not that bleeding heart fool. It's my Tardis, and I can use it as I please. "

She shook her head, steadily closing in on him. Rose hadn't bothered to put her gun away, it was lowered but still in her hands. This was her worst nightmare come to life. The one she was responsible for, ready to rip reality apart for his selfish reasons. He's already used the gun, and for all appearances shot to kill. She had failed to fix him, and he was worse than she could imagine. "Doctor, you can't do this. What about the people here? You are going to destroy innocent lives, it is not worth it?"

He sneered at her, still keeping the gun on the scientists. "Innocent lives? Hardly, no one is innocent, especially not in Torchwood. Sure some folks outside are going to get hurt, make that most of the planet, but everyone is out for themselves. Now get over here, I need your energy to make sure I don't rip open our universe too far."

Keeping her eyes on him, she kept moving closer at a steady pace. "My energy, why would my energy help things?"

His gaze dropped to the machine even though he kept the gun trained. "He was too scared to fully find out how you might have changed from the Game station, but I wasn't. You my dear have a tiny piece of the Vortex in your otherwise useless body. Not a lot, but just a spark. That along with your tie to the Tardis will get us to the other side intact in one of the pods, and then to find the Tardis. Oh there are so many things about you Rose Tyler that I discovered, and will use to my advantage."

He was still distracted with the machine now, and she could use that, even through her disquiet. The way he said her name made her shiver, not with joy but with terror. The scientists noted his distraction as well, and one of them decided to move closer. His head whipped up at the movement, and he waved a gun at her. "Stay where you are!"

Taking a deep breath, she kept moving forward, determination in her body language. "No, we're all dead soon anyways if this doesn't get shut down. So if you are going to stop me, you are going to have to shoot me. I'm not going down without at least trying to fix things.

The smile that twisted on his face held no rationality. He seemed almost pleased to have a target. "Well I can easily do that, like swatting an insect."

Rose's heart plummeted, she wasn't close enough. She had been edging closer, but it was too far to stop him if he chose to shoot the other woman. "Doctor stop this now, I will shoot you if I have to." There, she had given him one last chance. As she raised her gun into position she prayed he would take it.

He looked at her with such coldness in his eyes. Nothing was left of the man that she had loved. He was no more than a shell that resembled him. "You won't shoot me Rose Tyler, you are my tool. Now I'm going to deal with this nuisance and we are leaving."

It felt like she was moving through mud, but she aimed, seeing his body language tense up to shoot. With a silent plea for forgiveness she pulled the trigger. His body jerked once, and he turned towards her with a look of surprise as he collapsed.

Now she sprinted forward at the same time as the brave scientists. The other woman frantically worked over the machine as she knelt on the ground. Her knees were quickly soaked in his blood as he started to bleed out. "You did it; I can't believe you shot me after all I did. Oh, you won't be rid of me that easily Rose Tyler. You may have shot me, but I'll always be there, no matter where you go." He laughed slightly and the sound faded as he went still.

Strange, she felt so cold and hollow, she thought she would be weeping now, but she had other things to contend with. Behind them alarms went off, and a great purple crack appeared and started to spread. Frustrated the scientist worked frantically, machines beeping and going off everywhere. "It's too late, I can shut down the machines but he already started opening the Rift."

Closing her eyes Rose thought hard. If her energy would make their arrival safe, would it be enough to close this hole here? "What about me, he said I'm an energy source, if I go through, would it shut it?"

The woman stared at her, and then the machine. "It might, but you couldn't use any of the pods, that would be suicide!"

Opening her eyes she gave a strange little smile. Odd, she felt so at peace now, perhaps this would be atonement for her failure. "Right then, tell my family …. Tell them that I love them. "

Before the other woman could stop her, she whirled and ran towards the purple crack that was growing rapidly bigger. With an audible crack and a flash of light so bright it blinded the other woman, she vanished. The crack had vanished as well, and the alarms slowly started shutting off, more of the building coming to life.

~Cardiff, Original Universe~

Mickey's instruments were going crazy, locating a disturbance in the Rift. Jack skidded to a stop next to him as he tracked the readings. "Talk to me Mickey what have we got"

He didn't bother to look up, he just kept working. "Disturbance in the Rift, a big one, just outside our doors actually, I think something is coming through."

Moving to the side, Jack pulled up the outside surveillance to take a look. There was a crack, and then a blonde woman was suddenly there, crumpling to the ground. He gaped for a moment, and then took off to the lift. "That's Rose!"

Rose tumbled to the ground, shaky and disoriented. She was a trifle thinner, and her clothes a tattered mess. A sob threatened to choke her as she realized she was still alive, somehow. Putting her hands to her face she half curled in a seated position. It was then she realized she still had the gun, and she stared at it. A familiar and once loved voice seemed to whisper in her mind. "Oh you don't deserve to live, not after what you did. Nothing more than a failure, you can't even get self-sacrificing right, maybe you should just end it all."

Putting her hands down, she stared at the gun, the voice in her head continuing to mock her. Idly she stroked a hand over it, the voice was right. She was a failure, she hurt everyone around her and no one wanted her. That was why she ended up dumped in the other universe after all.

In the Hub, Mickey continued to watch the screen. When he saw that Rose had a gun, and her body language was so distraught, he got a chill down his spine. Calling for Martha he ran towards the other exit. He paused to call up to Jack. "Rose, she doesn't look good and she has a gun."

Jack went pale, and stared down at him as if he didn't quite understand the words. "What? Oh God hurry up!" He stared upwards willing the lift to go faster.

Back outside Rose started to rock a little, hands still stroking over the gun. The malicious voice continued to hiss in her head, and it was all she could hear. She felt just, so broken.

Jack finally got to the surface, and he quickly moved towards Rose. When he got close, he started to move slowly, calling out to her in a coaxing voice. "Rose? Rose sweetheart it's me Jack, your friend. Come on Rosie look at me, please."

It took a moment, but his repeated pleas broke through the voice hissing in her head. She looked up, hands clamped on the gun. "Jack?" Her eyes were wide, her voice disbelieving, and she tried to scoot backwards. "No, no no no! I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I cursed you. He told me, I'm such a failure. I fail everyone. I should have died, oh god blood on my hands, all my fault."

Jack's insides went cold, and he slowly kept trying to get closer. "No Rose you didn't curse me, just loved me a lot. I missed you so much sweetheart. Just put the gun down and we can go inside. You look like you have had a hard time, and I want to help you."

Her breath hitched the sobs finally threatening. She stopped scooting backwards, but she hugged the gun to her body, the muzzle pointed slightly up. "I don't deserve help, I was supposed to fix things and I didn't. I had to, I had to, and I didn't want to, but if I didn't, I had no choice Jack."

The pounding of feet heralded the arrival of Mickey and Martha, both wide eyed. Jack waved them back, concentrating on Rose. He was within a few feet now, and he crouched down, praying that she would let him help. "It's okay Rosie, I believe you and I believe in you. I know you would have done your best, please Rose. I've missed you so much."

That made her look up, and focus on him, eyes holding doubt and pain. "You missed me? But he said ….."

He gently coaxed as he slowly reached for the gun, hoping she would let him take it. "I missed you, very much. I've missed you for a very long time, and I'm going to be sad if I don't get to spend some time with my favorite girl. Please, just give me the gun?"

With a sound that was half sob and half sigh she looked down at the gun. Stroking it one last time she ignored the voice in her head hissing at her, and instead chose to listen to Jack. She gave a little nod and extended it just a bit. It was all he needed, and he carefully took it from her. He extended it back behind him, and Mickey walked up to take it.

Once the gun was gone, Jack moved forward to enfold Rose in his arms. He was half afraid she would push him away. Instead, she suddenly clung to him. She was cold to the touch, and tried to burrow into his warmth. When he felt her shaking, he silently cursed whatever had broken this once bright, sunny, and cheerful young woman. Gathering her up, he pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "It's okay now Rose, I got you, you are safe with me."


	2. Chapter 2 - What Happened?

**Rose's state of mind is very dark, as the trio start to try and figure out what has happened to her.**

**A touch short on the chapter, but a good place for me to stop.**

_Once the gun was gone, Jack moved forward to enfold Rose in his arms. He was half afraid she would push him away. Instead, she suddenly clung to him. She was cold to the touch, and tried to burrow into his warmth. When he felt her shaking, he silently cursed whatever had broken this once bright, sunny, and cheerful young woman. Gathering her up, he pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "It's okay now Rose, I got you, you are safe with me."_

Jack kept Rose cradled against him as he stood up. The fact that she was much lighter than he expected, did nothing to alleviate his worries. Looking to Mickey and Martha, he gave a nod in the direction of the Hub. He saw the understanding in their eyes as they moved that way. Good, they were picking up on his cues, and he could concentrate on Rose. He kept his tone calm and coaxing, as one might with a wild animal. "Rose, we are going to go inside now, get you warmed up, alright?"

He didn't get much in the way of a response as he started walking. Just a small nod and a slight tightening of her grip on him. Some inner instinct prompted him, and he just started talking in a warm soothing tone as he carried her. It was just idle chatter about funny stories that had happened lately, but he felt a small lessening of tension in her form.

After carrying her into the Hub, he started towards the medical bay. He took enough time so that Mickey and Martha were waiting. Gwen and Ianto were out, which was a blessing at the moment. He could introduce them later, but familiar faces with hopefully good associations were called for now. Jack spotted some clothes set to the side, and Martha had some equipment out to check out Rose. Carefully he maneuvered over to the raised bed, so he could set her down on it. "Rose, we need to get these rags off you and get you warmed up. Martha is also going to make sure you are okay. Do you remember Martha?"

Her grip on him immediately re-tightened, but she gave another small nod. It worried him that she wasn't speaking, the Rose Tyler he knew was never afraid to make her opinion known. He carefully set her down on the bed, but didn't pull away yet. "Okay Rose, I'm going to stay right here with you if you want. If you want me to leave while getting fresh clothes on I will, and then come right back in. No one is going to hurt you, I promise."

Rose's mind and body was in chaos. That voice, his voice, kept whispering in her mind. It was mocking her, and telling her what a failure she was. She was so cold and tired, waves of dizziness and nausea washing over her. The only thing keeping her anchored was the sound of Jack's voice, and her grip on him. Vaguely her mind was cataloging everything that was said, and done around her, but mostly she was just doing her best to hold on. When he asked her questions, her mind skittered back and forth in panic, before subsiding into bleak humor. She finally spoke, "Doesn't matter."

The three exchanged a quick glance, as Rose finally relaxed her grip letting the Captain straighten up. There were so many ways to interpret what she meant by that, but at least it was a response. When Jack slid his hand down to take hers, her tight grip on it at least gave him one answer. She did want him to stay there. It was Mickey who responded. "Of course it matters babe, because you matter."

She gave a small flinch when he said that, because the voice in her head suddenly got louder. Mercilessly it accused them all of lying just so they could use her. Sucking in a breath she put a hand up to her head. "M'fine, I think. S'hard to think, too much …. "

Her voice trailed off, just how do you explain there is a voice in your head yelling at you without sounding like a nutter? Then again, did it really matter if they thought that? Maybe it was better they thought her crazy and kept her from ruining anything else. She was a worthless chav and knew it, what did it matter. Rose started laughing bitterly, and ended on a sob. "Just make it stop, please Jack, make it stop. I can't take it anymore, please."

Rose's pleas broke Jack's heart as she curled towards him, gripping his hand tightly. He looked over at Martha with a question in his eyes. Giving him a steady look, she then moved over and picked up a syringe before turning back to nod at him. Jack bent over Rose, stroking his free hand over her slightly matted hair. "Rose, you are going to feel a little pinch, Martha is going to give you something so you can sleep. You need to rest, and I'll stay right here okay? I'll be right here when you wake up."

She didn't react to his words, but didn't resist when Martha took her arm. The physician kept her voice calm and soothing. "Just a pinch now, and then you'll fall asleep." Carefully giving the injection, she held the cotton over the site, pressing down when she withdrew the needle. In a few minutes, Rose's body went completely slack. Jack looked over as Martha checked, and she gave him a nod. "She's out, and should be for a while."

Jack gave a small nod, and then raked his hand back over his hair in a gesture of frustration. "What the hell happened to her?! Last I knew, the Doctor had left her in the other universe with his duplicate, and yes I yelled at him when I found out. He had his reasons, good ones even, not that I thought he should have done that, but what the hell happened?"

Mickey had watched fairly quietly, but seeing his friend like this had him rattled. "I don't know boss, this isn't the Rose I knew. Something must have happened to her, something really bad to put her in this state."

Martha had started examining Rose, bringing monitors over as she scanned the unconscious woman. Her touch was deft, and gentle, her gaze intent as she looked over results. "It's going to take me some time to evaluate all of this, but she's definitely dehydrated and suffering from some malnutrition. I can't tell you if that is from however she got here, or from before. "

Giving a small nod, Jack's gaze settled on the change of clothes. "Okay, let's get her changed, can you start an IV after that?" At Martha's nod, the pair started undressing Rose.

Mickey backed out of the room. "I'll go fetch a blanket yeah?"

Jack looked up and nodded; if things were slightly less serious he would have been amused by that. As it was, he was just finding more things to be concerned about. Rose's pale skin was overlaid with a few scars that made him clench his jaw. When they removed her trousers, he paused. "Martha, there is dried blood here, do a full analysis on that when you have a chance. In fact do a full analysis including genetics on Rose as well. That might help with answers."

Looking up at Jack Martha nodded in agreement. "Every test I can think of. With how traumatized she seems, we need all the answers we can get. It might take a while for her to tell us what happened. "

With a sigh Jack pulled a chair over after they finished dressing her. "Yeah, I figured that." He reached for her hand, brushing the hair back from her face. "We might need to make sure someone stays with her at all times, at least until she's stable."

Martha gave him an even look as she continued to work. "You mean until we are sure she won't hurt herself." Jack just looked at Rose, slightly unwilling to accept the truth of that.

Mickey came in on the heels of that statement with a blanket. It caused him to pause, and then continue to the bedside. Carefully he started to tuck it around her, making sure to leave arm with the IV in it above the blanket. He backed off, and then asked the question that was on all three of their minds. "Big question is, should we try and contact the Doctor?"

There was a beat of silence, and then Jack picked his head up, his voice firm. "No, not yet, we don't know what happened. As much as he's going to be upset that we don't tell him right away, Rose is more important. There is no way of knowing if seeing him would help or hurt, and anything that would hurt her more right now….." He left the rest of that sentence hanging.

Mickey gave a nod, then another thought occurred to him. "So if he just shows up, we keep him away from her?"

Looking squarely at Mickey, Jack's voice kept the firm resolve. "If he shows up, I'll deal with him. For now, we keep him away. Until we find out what Rose wants, and know he won't be upsetting her more. He has a habit of running away from things that are hard for him to handle. I'm not going to let him hurt her more that way."

Noise in the other room alerted them to the return of Gwen and Ianto. Mickey looked out and then to Jack. "Want me to fill them in?"

Jack gave him a small smile. "Please, we are going to need their help too."

Martha muttered slightly as Mickey left. Jack looked over to her, eyebrows raised. "What was that?"

Looking to him, Martha pursed her lips, sorting out her thoughts. "She may not stay out for long. I'm already finding changes to her physiology, it seems more efficient. I'll find out more when I get full results in. Whatever happened, she might not be fully human any more. I'll have to be careful what I give her."

Jack turned back to study Rose's face, repeating his earlier question. "Just what the hell happened to you Rosie?"


	3. Chapter 3 - Filling in the pieces

**Where some conclusions are made, and work is started to help the broken Rose. Not too dark of a chapter, more of laying out groundwork for what is to come.**

_Looking to him, Martha pursed her lips, sorting out her thoughts. "She may not stay out for long. I'm already finding changes to her physiology, it seems more efficient. I'll find out more when I get full results in. Whatever happened, she might not be fully human any more. I'll have to be careful what I give her."_

_Jack turned back to study Rose's face, repeating his earlier question. "Just what the hell happened to you Rosie?"_

They could tell when the sedative was starting to wear off, Rose started to thrash as if in the throes of a nightmare. Jack called for Martha to sedate her again as he tried to sooth the blonde. It hadn't been nearly long enough for Rose to have had a proper rest. She twisted under his hands, the note of fear in her voice making his insides knot. "No, no, please no, stay out of my head! Just please, stop, m'sorry."

He continued to try and sooth her as Martha administered another sedative. "Shhhh Rose, your safe now. I'm here; no one is going to hurt you. Just rest, we need you to get better." He wasn't sure what was worse, that she was protesting someone doing something, or that she was apologizing between her pleas.

Gradually she calmed and he relaxed, brushing the hair back from her face again. Martha adjusted the IV bag and looked over to him. "Why don't you take a break, she should be out for another four hours with this dose. At least that is my estimate, for anyone else I would say eight hours, but she seems to be sped up somehow. I can sit with her, or Mickey can sit with her for a bit."

Leaning back in his chair, Jack wiped a hand over her face. "I don't want to leave her."

Moving over Martha placed a hand on his shoulder. "I know, but she's going to need you when she wakes up. Rose knows Mickey and they care about each other. So you take care of yourself, so you can help her when she wakes up."

As if in cue, Mickey was there, and had heard the last statement. "She's right boss. Besides then you can make sure there are some chips here when she wakes up. One of her favorite foods and it looks like she could do with some feeding up."

Martha wrinkled her nose looking over at Mickey. "That's not exactly the best food for her to start with, but if it helps her eat, just not too much."

Jack waves his hands surrendering. "Alright, alright, just call me immediately if she's showing any signs of waking up, and thanks." He gave them both a small smile. It was a pale shadow of his normal dazzling grin, but it was a smile. He got up, and Mickey moved to take his place, reaching to take Rose's hand. Jack paused in the door, giving his unconscious friend one last look, and then left the room.

As he entered the main part of the Hub, Gwen and Ianto looked up, greeting him. Gwen's voice was gentle, but concerned. "I take it the two of you were close once?"

Jack's lips twitched, as if he wanted to smile, but couldn't quite do that yet. 'Yes, she saved me, made me into a better man. She believed in me, when I didn't believe in myself."

His eyes unfocused, as memories of Rose drifted through his mind. When he refocused on the pair in front of him, he noted the slight guarded expression, especially in Ianto. "She was almost like a little sister to me. I just hope I can help her now, like she helped me then."

The guarded expression faded away, only the concern was left as Ianto spoke. "What can we do to help?"

Now a smile flashed, if not the normal dazzling one, it was still a smile. "Thanks, she seems to be in rough shape, and she doesn't have any family left that I know of here. So it is going to be up to us. I'll know more when she wakes up, but I wanted her to rest."

Gwen gently tugged him over to take a seat and then sat next to him. "So we'll start with what we know so far and go from there. And you are wrong Jack, she does have family, she has you."

It was as if a small weight was lifted from his shoulders at her words. Relief that they understood, and that helping seemed to be an automatic to them. "First, I don't want her left alone. Something happened, and a trip through the rift can be unsettling at a minimum. Second, I'm trying to sort out from what she's said so far how to help best."

Ianto had vanished briefly, and came back with a cup of coffee, fixed just how Jack liked it. He gave the other man a small squeeze on the arm in way of thanks before taking a sip. "So far I know someone lied to her, at minimum about me, if not a lot more. It had to be someone who she would trust. Based on the fact they lied about me, I'm thinking it was the Doctor's double that did it. That could be very bad."

Frowning a little, Gwen carefully listened, letting Jack talk at his own pace. "The Doctor I knew would go to just about any lengths to keep Rose happy. He'd lie to make her happy, but not to upset her. So, if the duplicate lied in a way he knew would make her unhappy, it makes me wonder what else he would do."

Gwen's voice was even as she puzzled it through. "That certainly doesn't sound promising. Was there more?"

His stomach twisted, and Jack put down the coffee cup. It was hard for him to take a step back and look at this objectively; his emotions were deeply tied into things. "Yeah, for one, when she arrived she was pretty upset, saying how she was a failure. There was something she didn't want to do, but had to, and said she had blood on her hands."

He took a deep breath after that, taking his time before breaking the silence again. "Before Martha sedated her, she said it was hard to think, and asked me to make it stop. When she started to come out, I think she started having a nightmare. She was begging someone to stop, and she said something about get out of her head. That's what scares me a little; it could have been from time spent in the rift. What I'm really afraid of, was that someone did something to her mind deliberately."

Gwen frowned, her distaste for that possibility clear on her face. "That Doctor person, was he a telepath, would his duplicate be able to do that?"

Jack looked over to her, his expression a little bleak. "The Doctor yes, his duplicate I don't know. The fact is I'm not sure what he might have done but Martha is running some tests."

Studying him, Gwen gave a firm nod. "Alright, here is what we are going to do. You go out for a bit, clear your head. Ianto can go with you." When he started to protest she gave him a firm look. "If she starts to wake up or Martha gets results we'll call you right away. While you are doing that, I'll look through our files to see if we know a friendly telepath that might help."

The beginnings of a protest died on his lips. Everyone was urging him to take a short break. He must look even more upset then he thought. Or, they just knew him well enough so what he was showing, they read into. Either way as Jack looked between the both of them he saw equal stubborn determination and care. He lifted his hands as if in surrender. "Alright, alright, I'll go. I need to get some chips for Rose for when she wakes up anyways."

Gwen gave a nod as he got up, Ianto falling into step with him. "Good, go, shoo. We'll look after things for a bit." She shooed them off with her hands, getting a small chuckle from Jack.

Once they disappeared she moved to the computer and started to rapidly look through files. It would take the right balance of strength, and compassion to fill this need. They also needed to be close by, and it wouldn't hurt if they owed Torchwood a favor. She steadily looked through the files, until she came across one that just might work. Definitely an unusual choice, but that might make it even better. From the stories about Rose Tyler, she was hardly a conventional woman. Picking up the phone, she made a call. Ten minutes later, she had another ally in the battle for Rose Tyler.

Back in the lab, Martha went over the results of her test twice, and then a third time. The results were quite frankly astonishing. Leaning back, she took a moment to think over her options. Rose had been asleep for two hours now, Jack left about an hour and a half ago. The patient would probably be awake sometime an hour, to two hours from now.

While she could call Jack back, she made a different decision. Martha had no problem telling Jack alone about what she found out about the blood on Rose's garments. However, Rose should have the choice about who knew about what her medical work up. That woman had enough decisions that were made for her. It was past time that Rose have the freedom to make decisions for herself. With that thought, she set a few more tests to run. She technically would just be giving the results when they all came back.

Leaving the information there, she made her way over to Rose's bedside, and Mickey. He had a laptop on a table and one hand holding Rose's. He was absorbed in his work, hindered slightly by doing it one handed. So he didn't look up, until Martha put a hand on his shoulder. Looking up, he placed his free hand over hers offering a smile. "Hey babe, what did you find out?"

With a sigh Martha pulled over a chair and sat by Mickey. "I found enough so far to know that she's going to have a hard time, even with all of our help. " She leaned her head against his shoulder. "You know there was a time I resented Rose Tyler. After today, I don't think I ever will again." Mickey slipped his free arm around her, pressing a kiss to Martha's temple.

One hour later, Jack re-entered the Hub. Both he and Ianto had their hands full. They had among their bounty Chinese food and a large order of chips with vinegar. They dropped off some of their bounty with Gwen, and left the rest except for the chips in the break room. Ianto moved off to get the things for tea ready. They had also stopped to pick up some of what Jack remembered to be favorite teas of Rose's.

Jack made his way to the med-bay, Martha and Mickey looking up as he entered. "Any changes while I was gone?"

"No," Martha shook her head. "Good timing though, she could be waking up sometime within the next hour or so."

Jack set the bag down on a table near Rose and moved over to take Mickey's place at her bedside. Getting up, Mickey pushed the other table back taking the laptop with him.

Martha put her hands in the pockets of her lab coat looking between the two. Rose was still safely asleep, so there was something she could tell them. "I'll have Rose's results all in soon, but I already have some results back on the blood that was on her clothing."

Both men quickly looked at her. "It was male, and a mix of human DNA and other. Now I can't say for sure without having another sample to compare it to, but it could possibly have been the duplicate's. It was quite advanced."

Jack swore softly and Mickey's jaw tightened. Martha wasn't quite finished though. "There was quite a bit of blood on the bottom half of her trousers. Based on where the majority of it was on her clothes and person, she probably was kneeling in it. Furthermore, the amount that was there, it is possible that he didn't survive whatever happened, although there is no way to guarantee it."

Mickey looked over to where Rose was resting. "Whatever happened, it isn't good, and she was in the thick of it. No wonder she's a mess."

Martha studied Rose's form, knowing for a fact Mickey was making a gross understatement. Not good probably only barely scratched the surface of what happened to Rose Tyler.

Whatever they might have said next was forgotten. Rose was starting to stir, and they turned to focus on her. Her voice was rusty as she slowly opened her eyes. "Do I smell chips?"


	4. Chapter 4 - Waking Up

**Rose is awake, and does get her chips. Then maybe a bit more information then she bargained for.**

**Warnings on this chapter, not dipping extremely far into the dark but possibly not good if you are sensitive to such things. It will get darker as it goes.**

**Thanks for all the support for this story, each review is very much appreciated.**

_Mickey looked over to where Rose was resting. "Whatever happened, it isn't good, and she was in the thick of it. No wonder she's a mess."_

_Martha studied Rose's form, knowing for a fact Mickey was making a gross understatement. Not good probably only barely scratched the surface of what happened to Rose Tyler._

_Whatever they might have said next was forgotten. Rose was starting to stir, and they turned to focus on her. Her voice was rusty as she slowly opened her eyes. "Do I smell chips?"_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Clawing her way back to consciousness, the first thing Rose noticed was a much loved smell. It tickled her memory for the briefest of moments, because she hadn't smelled chips like that for a very long time. Her brain not quite in gear, she spoke. It was after the words left her lips that she registered the pinch of an IV in her arm. In her experience, IV meant lab or hospital, neither of which was a positive association.

Rose froze for a moment after speaking. Her gaze darted around the room, as if frantic to ascertain where she was. Jack immediately leaned forward, lightly squeezing the hand he held and using his free hand to cup the side of her face. "Hey Rose, it's alright, you are safe, and yeah you smell chips." He flashed a warm smile at her. "With vinegar, just the way you like it, nothing but the best for my best girl."

Her eyes snapped to his face, and slowly her free hand reached out to touch. Rose's fingertips lightly brushed his cheek as her other hand gripped his tightly. "You're, real? I heard, Mickey?"

The hesitant nature of her questions had Jack's expression tighten slightly as Mickey moved to the other side of her bed. "Yeah babe I'm here, just like captain cheesecake here. It's all real and you are in a safe place I promise."

Rose turned her head, her hand going from Jack's face towards Mickey. At the foot of the bed Martha was trying smother a laugh that threatened at Mickey's choice of name for Jack. "Hey, right here you know, I am not a cheesecake, beefcake definitely."

Mickey smiled and nodded in Jack's direction. "Oi, who's full of himself then, I tell you Rose good thing you are here to help keep him in line."

Their banter did the job of relaxing Rose slightly, though her body still carried a line of tension. Suddenly she looked over, straight at Martha, who offered a smile. "I'm not sure if you remember, but I'm Martha Jones, I take care of all the medical stuff around here."

Martha made the decision to leave off her professional title. While she had earned it, something told her mentioning doctors of any sort might not be the best reassurance at the moment. So instead she went with the friendlier introduction. When Rose more or less relaxed, it reinforced her decision. "I remember you a bit, yeah."

Her gaze shot back to Jack, who was holding her hand still. The smell of chips still tantalized her nose, but she didn't ask for them. Instead she focused on her friend's face. "So it's all real, it happened?" Her breathing started to quicken. "Am I in Cardiff?"

Jack pulled the hand he was holding up to his face and gently spread her fingers across the side of his face. "Hey, it's alright, look I'm real and you are safe I promise. You are in Cardiff, back in your original universe. It's been about a year from when I saw you last. We found you outside, a bit worse for wear, and brought you inside. Martha has been fixing you up, and trying to figure out what happened."

With a small shudder she let herself relax, closing her eyes for a moment. When she opened them she looked over to Martha as she slid her hand down to just grip Jack's. "M'head feels a bit fuzzy."

The dark skinned woman gave a small nod. "Yes, I gave you something to help you sleep, it is wearing off. You were complaining about your head earlier, is it bothering you now?"

It took her a moment to think it over. There was a slight sluggish feeling to her thoughts, but her mind for once was blessedly silent. So she shook her head no. "Just fuzzy, s'okay if I sit up?"

With a nod Martha moved towards the bed, grabbing an extra pillow. "We'll let those to blokes help you while I adjust this so you can sit up. Take your time alright?"

Giving a small nod, Rose carefully sat up, closing her eyes when the room spun for a moment. She could feel the warmth where Jack and Mickey were holding her, as Martha adjusted things behind her back. They eased her to lean back, and when she was settled, she opened her eyes again. "Thanks."

It was then that her stomach decided that just smelling the chips was not enough, and it growled. She forced herself not to panic as Jack laughed. "I think that would answer the question if you are hungry or not. So, want those chips?"

She darted a look in the direction the smell was coming from, then back to Jack. "They are for me?"

For right now, it seems that she has faith in Jack getting the right answers from Jack. In a way, her faith a bit ironic, considering when she first met him, he was a conman. Then again, Rose had always looked past that, to see the better man underneath, one that had never failed in her faith for him.

It was Mickey that answered, sliding over a table with the greasy treat on it. "Yeah babe, right here. We can get you a good cuppa to drink, or coffee. Ianto who works here makes the best. "

Martha rolled her eyes but smiled. "After this treat, we need to get some decent meals in you. No good making you sick by not eating properly. "

Rose's eyes were a little wide taking it all in. A part of her was on edge, and she was having a hard time figuring out why. "Cuppa would be good." Slowly she reached for the bag of chips, her glance flicking around the room and back again. "No one else wants these?"

Jack's voice was calm, and he lightly squeezed her hand in reassurance. "Rose, those are for you. I got us a bounty of Chinese takeout. Tell you what, I might even share mine with you." He looked up at Martha's glare. "Or maybe not depending on what else Martha thinks you need. Your body is in rough shape, you may have been in the rift for a while. "

Rose finally dragged the bag of chips over and started to dig into it. She kept the one hand in Jack's though, almost as using it as an anchor. Mickey got up to head towards the door. "I'll get the goods for you, and have Ianto start the tea."

Martha moved to check on the IV. "After this one is done I'm going to take the IV out. You were really low on fluids when you got here, but you seem to be doing better now. I'm going to go get a bit to eat myself. The results should be back after that, and we can go over them."

Rose gave her a small nod, managing to drag out a smile. "Okay, thank you."

Martha gave her a warm smile back. "Just work on getting better, best thanks you can give me."

It was actually Ianto that came back in a few minutes later, with Jack's take out, and tea for Rose. Catching the movement Rose's gaze immediately snapped to the door, she saw the handsome young man standing there with the tray. Jack's smile lit up, gesturing him further into the room. "Rose, this is Ianto Jones, he and Gwen Cooper make up the rest of the team here. Small, I know, but you only need a few people, and we have the best."

Ianto's ears reddened slightly as he set down the tea for Rose and handed over Jack's take out. Rose finally let go of Jack's hand to pick up the tea. Ianto watched her with a small smile. "Mickey told me how you liked it. It is nice to meet you after hearing all the stories, good ones I mean."

Rose took a sip of the tea, and a smile spread across her face. She shifted in her seat, drawing up her legs to sit cross legged, making a small sound of approval. "This is an excellent cup of tea, Ta."

Ianto's smile was a bit more relaxed. "Glad you like it, just let me know if you need anything else."

He slipped out of the room, leaving Jack and Rose. Jack leaned back in his seat, digging into his takeout. "So, how long has it been for you?"

He glanced over in time to see her freeze, chip halfway to her mouth before continuing again. He kept his casual relaxed air, giving her time to answer. Rose took her time eating the chip before answering in a soft voice. "About twenty years."

Jack blinked, but forced himself to stay relaxed, finishing his mouthful of Chinese food. "Huh, you think something happened to you too at the Gamestation?"

Rose froze again, and then continued on. "Maybe, not sure, it made the other him a bit upset because while he was aging slower than most, he was still aging, and I wasn't."

Tipping his head as if considering it, Jack looked back over to Rose. "Well I can understand that giving him a start. Not like it was your fault though."

She was silent after that comment, carefully turning it over in her thoughts. Jack let the silence continue as he dug into his own food. Finally she finished her chips, pushing the bag away and picking up her tea in both hands to sip. When she finally spoke, there was a touch of bleakness in her tone. "Wasn't it through? I was the one that didn't stay where he sent me. I ripped open the Tardis and then did all those things. I brought you back to life, forever, cursed you."

Setting the box down Jack shifted over, reaching to put a hand around one of Rose's, not caring they were cupped around the tea. "Now you listen to me Rose Tyler. You did what you did out of love, the right kind of love. It was kind of love that puts the welfare of others before their own, and risked your own life while doing it. You loved me so much; you didn't want me to be dead. So yeah, maybe you over did it a little, but I've been able to do good things because of it. You did not curse me, you gave me a gift."

Her hands started to shake, and he gently took the cup setting it down. Boosting himself up to sit on the edge of the bed, he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close. Rose only resisted for a moment, and then cuddled into his embrace. He stroked a hand over her hair, his voice low and gentle. "You Rose Tyler are one of the most compassionate and kindest people I have ever known. I will always believe in the best of you, because that is what you are, the best."

She trembled, almost flinching at his words. Then he could feel a bit of dampness on his shirt and he rubbed her back. "It's okay to cry Rose, I've got you." He shifted more on to the bed so he could pull her into his lap without pulling on the IV in her arm. Her hands balled up in his shirt, clinging to him. It broke his heart a little, when he could tell that she was crying, only silently.

He stroked a hand up and down her back soothingly until she relaxed and pulled away a little. He ducked his head down to look her in the eyes. "Feeling a little better?"

She scrubbed a hand across her face and gave a little shrug. Jack let go of her just enough so he could stretch to reach a box of Kleenex nearby. He gently put the box in her lap, and she gave him a small watery smile of thanks. "I meant every word of what I said, remember that okay?"

Giving a small nod, she leaned against his shoulder. Inside her mind was rolling, grappling with conflicting thoughts. Her head was still a bit fuzzy feeling, but that was starting to clear up. It made her shiver, feeling something dark lurking back there, waiting to pounce.

They stayed that way for a little while, until a gentle voice interrupted them. "Rose? I'm going to take out the IV now, and I have the test results back if you feel up to talking about them."

Martha gently started removing the IV, carefully watching Rose. Picking her head up, Rose gave her a small nod. Studying her patient's face, she gave a small nod back, and a reassuring touch on her arm. After disposing of the IV, Martha started pulling monitors over, as well as pulling up a chair to the side of Rose's bed. "Now Jack can stay here if you want, or it can be just you and me. Which do you want?"

Taking a deep breath, Rose reached for Jack's hand for an anchor again. "I trust Jack."

With a smile and a nod, Martha started turning on the monitor, several different strands of DNA showing on the screen. "Rose, some of this isn't going to be easy to hear. So if you want me to stop at any time, just say so. First what I want to show you is your DNA. On the left side of the screen you see normal human DNA, double helix. On the right, well that is yours."

Looking from the left side of the screen to the right a small tremor went through Rose's frame. She could sense Jack looking too, and out of the corner of her eye she saw his jaw clench. Instead of the normal double strand helix, Rose's was now a triple strand. She stared at the screen, her voice a little shaky. "What does this mean?"

Keeping an eye on Rose, Martha tapped the right side of the screen; causing Rose's DNA to center on the screen and expands. "Something, somewhere along the line altered your DNA. It almost looks natural, but I don't know what caused it. It does however explain what else I found, if you are ready."

Wordlessly Rose gave a small nod, eyes glued to the screen. Martha turned her head back to the monitor and brought up another image. When Rose saw it her jaw dropped a bit as she took it in. Martha's voice was soft in the back ground.

"This is a scan of your internal organs. Best I can tell, signs indicate someone was forcing a change on your body internally. There is some internal scarring that indicates that the changes were forced, rather than occurring naturally. There are changes to your bone density, internal organs, and even a secondary coronary system starting to form. Your body is tougher, more efficient, and the aging process has slowed to a standstill."

Ripping his gaze off the monitors, Jack looked at Rose, noting how pale she had gone. His voice held his concern as he gently squeezed the hand he was holding. "Rose, are you okay?"

She stared at the monitor a bit longer, before she finally found her voice. It was shaking. "I-I don't remember this, any of this. He was using me as a lab rat, wasn't he?"

Hot tears started to streak down her cheeks as Jack gently asked. "He who Rose, who do you think did this?" He had a sinking feeling he knew exactly who had experimented on her.

A shudder ran through her frame, not wanting to say it out loud. Finally she spoke. "Him, the other him that I was supposed to fix, he wasn't happy being part human. So he used me as a lab rat." The last part of it came out as a whisper.

Then there came a nasty chuckle from the back of her mind. The taunting voice was back, mocking her. ~What else did you think you were good for? I had to practice on someone. ~


	5. Chapter 5 - Coping

**Rose has too much to cope with, and a strange sort of help arrives.**

**Chapter Warnings, dark thoughts, dealing with the issues presented in last chapter.**

_Hot tears started to streak down her cheeks as Jack gently asked. "He who Rose, who do you think did this?" He had a sinking feeling he knew exactly who had experimented on her._

_A shudder ran through her frame, not wanting to say it out loud. Finally she spoke. "Him, the other him that I was supposed to fix, he wasn't happy being part human. So he used me as a lab rat." The last part of it came out as a whisper._

_Then there came a nasty chuckle from the back of her mind. The taunting voice was back, mocking her. ~What else did you think you were good for? I had to practice on someone. ~_

**********************************

With a small whimper Rose pulled her knees to her chest, and buried her face against them. She could hear Jack and Martha trying to sooth her, but it was distant. The voice in her head rang loudly. It was shattering the last bits of illusion she had about the one that stayed with her.

The voice, his voice, was angry and mocking. ~You think I stayed with you? I was dumped there just like you. I only said what I said because I had a use for you. At least I did, he obviously didn't since he just dumped you there. ~

She felt cold, oh so cold inside. Jack's hands trying to draw her into his embrace were hot on her body. The contrast made her shiver as the voice continued to mock her. Worthless wasn't she, just a tool to be used. Yet that jarred slightly with how Jack had been treating her.

Over the mocking voice, Rose could hear Jack, calm and strong. "It's going to be okay Rose. No one is going to use you like that here, I promise, you are safe here."

Her hands loosened from around her knees, and clung to his shirt instead. In a startling moment of clarity in the whirlwind, she realized Jack had never left her. The voice tried to tell her it was because he never had the chance to. However Jack's voice was real, his touch was real, and she clung to that desperate flicker of hope.

Something bright and golden sang at the back of her mind, urging her to listen to Jack. It was a song she had not heard for a very long time. His voice snarled, trying to drown it out, but it couldn't really. The golden song was literally a part of her; it was the feeling of coming home.

Oh that made the voice angry, it was ranting and raving. Her head started to hurt so much that tears started to leak through the eyes she squeezed shut. Dimly she could feel Jack's hand rubbing her back. That helped anchor her, that reassuring touch. She took a deep breath, and managed to speak. "Jack? M'head hurts. He's yelling at me again, inside, it hurts."  
>Jack exchanged a startled glance with Martha when Rose made the comment. He had gathered Rose up when she started to curl inward. It was like she was retreating from reality, but when she grabbed on to his shirt, he knew she wasn't completely lost.<p>

After they exchanged a glance, Martha moved over to her medical instruments and picked up a syringe. She measured just a bit of the sedative she used earlier into it, moving back to Rose's side. Her voice was gentle as she reached for her patient's arm. "Rose, I'm going to give you more of the medicine I gave you earlier. Not enough to knock you out, but hopefully it will help your head feel better okay?"

Rose didn't say anything, but she didn't resist when Martha took her arm. Her fingers uncurled from their grasp of Jack's shirt. Martha gave the injection, and carefully rubbed a hand up and down Rose's arm in a gesture of comfort. She set the syringe aside as they waited for a reaction.

She could feel it as the drug started to take affect. Her mind started to cloud a little around the edges, and the voice started to fade. Oh it was angry; it didn't like this one bit. The singing however, stayed warm and supportive. It was like getting a hug from an older sister, one that was looking out for her. Gradually both faded away, and she was alone in her head again.

Jack and Martha watched her anxiously as Rose started to relax in degrees. The pinched expression on her face relaxed first. Then the grip she had on Jack's shirt became less white knuckled. Finally she opened her eyes to look at them again. She managed a shaky smile for them. "Ta."

Martha smiled then, though it didn't quite reach her eyes. "Better then?" When Rose nodded Martha released her arm, giving the hand a quick squeeze. "This will work as a temporary solution, until we can come up with a long term one."

Rubbing a hand up and down Rose's back, Jack very carefully picked his words. "Rose, we had to give you the sedative a second time so you would stay resting before. The reason for that is that you were starting to have a nightmare. There was something you said, asking someone to stay out of your head. Does this have to do with a voice in your mind?"

Rose's hand's flexed as he spoke, an underlying tension threatening to spring up again. Then she simply closed her eyes in resignation. There seemed to be little point to holding anything back now. All the questions felt like a rough pumice stone scraping against raw skin, so she just let herself go numb as she answered. "Yeah, used t'be that I just heard it at night, when I was sleepin'. Since I jumped into th' rift, I hear it all the time now."

"You jumped into the Rift?!"

Jack's voice was laced with astonishment even as Rose shrugged. Her cockney accent was coming out stronger now. He noted that the tone of her voice had gone rather tired, and a little flat. There was so much to sort out; it would take time to deal. He had to keep asking though. They needed to know exactly what they were dealing with. "I had to, didn't stop him in time. If I didn't jump in t'close it, would have ripped th' other universe apart. S'my fault for not stopping him in time anyways."

A thread of anger wound its way through Jack, tightening his muscles. He really wanted to throttle both the Doctor and the duplicate at the moment. Rose was really twisted up inside, and it was due to what happened to her between the two of them, he was sure of it.

It was Martha, however, that responded to that statement. "Rose, I very much doubt it was your fault. You aren't the one that tried to open the Rift; you are the one that tried to stop it. When you say he, you mean the duplicate don't you?"

If she hadn't let the numbness coat her, her emotions would be raging right now with everything going on. Instead she just dully listened while the questions continued to scrape at her. "Yeah, was him. I-I don't want to talk 'bout it right now." The intensity of what happened, then threatened to break through the numbness, to cut too deep. She just couldn't face that at t he moment.

Forcing himself to relax, Jack nodded and continued to rub Rose's back. "Alright, not now, but we will have to talk about it at some point." Rose just rested against Jack, not really acknowledging what he said.

When she finally responded, it was to ask Martha a question. "What's inside me, am I stuck with it?"

Mentally switching gears back to the original topics, Martha considered her options. "Rose I don't want to get your hopes up. The honest answer is I'm not sure, but I think you might be. The initial changes appear to be in your DNA, and then built upon that. They are meshed in your original systems. Trying to reverse what was done, would probably kill you. That doesn't mean I'm going to stop looking for a way to help you. I'll keep looking until I have exhausted every possibility of what I can do for you." She kept her tones even, and gentle, while speaking watching Rose's reaction.

As for Rose, she hadn't opened her eyes yet, just stayed leaning against Jack as she listened. There was a sort of numb resignation to her body language now. One that was disconcerting when compared to the memory of the fighter Rose had been.

Jack felt rather helpless, there was very little he could do to help. There wasn't an enemy that could be fought, or a cure that would make things better. This was going to be a slow, and probably painful process to help her. There was something he could offer. "Rose, Gwen was looking for a telepath that can help. That way, if he was in your mind, we can fix that for you, alright?"

A shrug seemed to be her only response. It wasn't an outright rejection so that would have to do for now. "Jack? What's going to happen to me?"

In a way that question was a relief. It meant that Rose was at least considering a future. "We are going to take that one step at a time sweetheart. First thing, you are going to get stronger. When Martha okay's it, well I have an apartment I rarely use that has an extra bedroom. You can stay with me while we figure the rest out. We could certainly use your expertise around here, but only if that is what you want. Regardless, whatever happens, I will always be here for you, I promise."

Rose didn't respond to that, and Jack remained concerned. It was as if she was retreating inside herself, and he was helpless to stop it. He locked eyes with Martha, reading her own concern there. She simply shrugged and shook her head, equally at a loss. He jerked his head in the direction of the door and she nodded. Carefully shutting things down, she looked over to Rose. "I'm going to go for now, if you need anything, send someone for me. I'll keep looking for answers Rose; I'm not going to give up on you."

Rose's response was all but inaudible, but it was there. "Thank you Martha."

As Martha left, Jack suppressed the urge to sigh; instead he racked his brains for something to help. "You know, we have a lot to catch up on. How about I tell you some more stories, I've got plenty of them. Believe it or not, I actually have more non-naked stories then naked ones."

They spent the next several hours that way, occasionally people drifted in to check on them. Ianto kept them supplied with drinks, and actually managed to coax Rose into eating something more. His calm and gentle manner seemed reassuring to Rose. Martha occasionally re-injected her with the drug to keep her mind quiet.

Gwen came in later, chattering about things and teasing Jack. That managed to get a smile, especially when she offered to help Rose with her hair. Feeling stronger, the Welshwoman somehow got her to the shower, cleaned up, fresh clothes, and back again. It was a little like being carried along by a friendly, insistent, and implacable whirlwind.

Jack was just always there. If he had to leave, Mickey was there with her and Jack was just outside. She was not left alone, which was both a relief and a small bit of aggravation. Part of her wanted the chance to sink into darkness and never come back from it. The constant company didn't allow for it.

She couldn't quite keep track of the passage of time, and was content to drift, until she sensed something. It was the sensation of something very solid, dense in a way that was difficult for her to explain. It was simply there and caught her attention.

Sitting up suddenly, she stared at the door. This startled Jack, who had been in the middle of trying to coax Rose into some sort of card game with him. He turned to look at the doorway as well, which was empty at the moment. "Rose, what is it?"

After a moment frozen in place, she turned towards Jack and shook her head. That is when a new voice interrupted them. "Oh my, just what do we have here?

Standing in the doorway was a fairly short human looking middle aged male. He had a cheerful smile, almost cherubic face, and was slightly balding with graying hair. His voice was a bit nasally but not unpleasant. The impression was almost of someone that was completely harmless, as he looked at Rose.

Blinking, Jack broke into a wide smile and chuckled. "Hello Bob, I take it Gwen recruited you?"

Beaming a smile Bob nodded and came further into the room. "That she did and not a moment too soon I would say."

Rose felt rather odd; it was as if parts of her had woken up when he stepped into the room. He had her entire focus, as she tried to evaluate this strange feeling. It took her a moment to pin down what was making her so alert, and then she realized it was because she couldn't read him. With most people, she was able to get an underlying sense of their purpose, but she couldn't with him.

He gave her a little smile, as if he realized what was causing her wide eyed reaction. He simply pulled a chair over to sit at the side of the bed. "You must be Rose, my real name is Threzcwalkischticcamalk, but that's way too long and hard to pronounce, so just call me Bob. I'd shake your hand, which is a human custom but that can be considered very rude between two telepaths." He kept his voice low, like he was sharing a great secret while talking to her.

Watching him with fascination, Rose felt something inside her relax and she offered a small smile. "You are the telepath, is it okay of Jack stays?"

Leaning back he folded his hands together and twiddled his thumbs as giving it great thought. "Well, that should be just fine for now. You may not want that down the road as some of this takes great concentration, and we all know how distracting I can be let alone Jack." With this comment he waggled his eyebrows inviting a grin.

The thought of this man who looked like an overgrown beardless gnome as a distraction, managed a giggle out of Rose. Something about him was making the whole room feel lighter. It was as if she had been sitting in darkness, and he turned the light on.

In the background Jack stayed quiet, simply holding Rose's hand as she sat up and studied Bob. He knew what the strange man was doing, and he was grateful for it. This was a good choice of Gwen's, and he fervently hoped, the needed help for Rose.

After another moment of intense observation, Bob tilted his head and considered Rose. "I can tell already you have quite the set up there. Is it alright if I take a deeper look? I'm not going to stick myself inside your mind there, you have enough going on. It is just more polite to ask then assume that looking is okay."

There is a brief hesitation, and then Rose nodded. "If it will help, yeah go ahead. Thank you for asking."

Giving a nod, Bob shifted this way and that in his chair studying Rose. His voice was low, a sort of running commentary of what he was seeing. "Oh my, I'd say you weren't born a telepath, but something opened you up. Started really small at first and then grew, though someone was really careless about the whole thing. You've got a partial bond that's very strained, a broken bond that is hurting you, and two things inside your head. You are lucky to keep any of that straight with no real training."

Rose blinked in surprise, but didn't comment as he continued with his inventory. "The two things in your head, one is your ally and in part why you opened up in the first place. The second is related to broken bond, no, the forced and broken bond, that is the one causing all the trouble."

Sluggishly, fighting through the dampening affects of the medicine, anger stirred at the back of her head. It was the feeling one got when a cobra flared its hood and coiled, ready to strike. "Oh my, he doesn't like me one bit."

In a rapid change, Bob abruptly sat back and was all cheerful smiles again. "Jack you naughty boy, you always have the best surprises."

Somewhat dazed Rose just stared at Bob as Jack chuckled. The angry presence seemed baffled at that, and just faded away, confused by the abrupt change. Rose looked over to Jack, whom seemed completely relaxed. "Well I do try, what do you think you can do for our Rosie?"

Folding his hands again, Bob turned his gaze to Rose, his smile and voice gentle. "Well my dear, we're going to start with what options are available for you. The first thing we need to establish is this, whatever you started as, whatever was done, has expanded your mental ability. Do you understand that?"

Mouth gone dry, Rose licked her lips, sucking in her bottom lip to bite on as she considered. "So all the mucking about means I've got stuff I can do with my mind that I couldn't before?"

Bob gave her an approving nod. "Got it in one that is exactly what happened. Now here is the kicker, which is in part why you have your problem, and in part how you can solve it. There are other options, but the best one would be for me to teach you how to fix it yourself. I want to put the power in your hands, because that is where it should be."

Biting her lip again, Rose thought it over. "That's going to take awhile, to learn that stuff, yeah?"

Looking more solemn now, the small man nodded. "It will, I can and will put up temporary blockers that will help until you can deal with things yourself. Permanent blockers would mean you would always be at risk of them being broken by someone stronger. Excising the ability completely would get rid of your problem, but it would damage you. Still, the decision is yours, so, what is it going to be?"


	6. Chapter 6 - Hope and Darkness

**Rose makes her choice, and the Tardis starts working on the Doctor. This takes place for the Doctor right after Waters of Mars**

**Chapter Warnings - The Doctor is given dreams of Rose's memories. Implied abuse, non-con, etc.**

_Bob gave her an approving nod. "Got it in one that is exactly what happened. Now here is the kicker, which is in part why you have your problem, and in part how you can solve it. There are other options, but the best one would be for me to teach you how to fix it yourself. I want to put the power in your hands, because that is where it should be."_

_Biting her lip again, Rose thought it over. "That's going to take a while, to learn that stuff, yeah?"_

_Looking more solemn now, the small man nodded. "It will, I can and will put up temporary blockers that will help until you can deal with things yourself. Permanent blockers would mean you would always be at risk of them being broken by someone stronger. Excising the ability completely would get rid of your problem, but it would damage you. Still, the decision is yours, so, what is it going to be?" _

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The room fell into comfortable silence as Rose considered her options. Instinctively she knew a permanent block would not work. There were too many influences at work here for that to hold. So that really left learning how to handle it, or having the ability removed completely.

An odd, almost peaceful feeling wrapped around her, it was like being draped in a warm comforting blanket. It was as if someone was standing between her and all her fears, so she could think more objectively. If she faced the problem squarely, she could see that her mind and body was too fragile to take more damage. If she really wanted to heal, she needed to learn. The calmness also let her note that excising the ability would always be an option she could come back to. It was just one that she never could reverse.

Finally she looked up locking her gaze with Bob's. "I want to try and learn, for you to just put the temporary blocks in. I want you to promise me though, if something happens where I'll deliberately hurt others, you'll take it away."

Bob's cheerful face was wreathed in a smile as he nodded. "I can certainly do that, as a last resort, mind you, but I can do that. So do I have your permission then to place the first temporary block?"

His words had an air of formality to them, and Rose nodded. "You have my permission."

The little man finally came forward to brace his hands on either side of her head. The angry voice at the back of her head started to stir, an angry snarl ripping from it. It was too late though, soft muffling barriers deftly dropped in place.

Eyes wide, Rose looked around as the silence descended. "Everything's so … quiet now. What happened to all the noise, was that from my head?"

With the bright smile intact, Bob dropped his hands, his voice approving. "Very good, you have likely been overhearing bits and pieces of things and emotions for a long time now. When we are finished with your lessons, you'll be able to adjust how much you hear and don't hear. For now, you need full strength blockers, so it's going to be really quiet for you."

Continuing the wide eyed look, Rose looked around, slipping from the hospital style bed to do so. Jack reached out a cautious hand, but Bob stopped him with a headshake. Rose took a few steps, twisting around to look at things. "I feel, stronger and cut off at the same time. Is tha' right?"

Giving her a reassuring nod, Bob kept smiling. "Yes, that is typical; you don't have the press of everything on your mind cluttering it up. Yet at the same time you have lost some of the input you relied on. Now, when you are ready, take a seat and we'll start our first lesson."

Rose wandered around the room for a bit, lightly touching just about everything in it. She circled around, running her hand along the top of Jack's shoulders before moving to take a seat again. Jack watched everything intently, sending her reassuring smiles when she looked his way.

When she finally settled, she looked to Bob, expression relaxed and attentive. His smile broadening, he gave her an approving nod. "Alright, let us begin."

The Tardis withdrew her tendril of awareness from Rose. Now that her little wolf was back in the universe, she could help her again. From this distance, across time and space, it took a great deal of her focus to be able to. The only reason she could do it at all was because Rose was literally a part of her, and she a part of Rose. It was a very good thing that a Teacher had been found. The Teacher could help her Wolf, while she concentrated on her Thief. In truth, with those barriers now in place, there was little she could do from here for the Wolf, but plenty for her Thief.

When the Tardis turned her full focus on the Doctor, she was very unhappy with his behavior. He had become increasingly dark and arrogant. Instead of facing his pain, he was shutting it out, which was a dangerous thing. She could see the dark possibilities unfurling around him, and this would not do at all.

They needed each other, her Wolf and her Thief. However neither was ready to face the other yet. Her poor little Wolf would need far more time than her Thief. It was a good thing that time meant little to one that existed in all time. So when he was ready, she could bring them together again, but first, to work on her Thief.

The Doctor staggered into the Tardis, shaken to the core. He had gone too far, and caused a courageous woman to take her own life, in order to preserve the future. The sight of the ood on the street, terrified him even more. He had a choice here, he could face what he was, what he had become, or he could do what he did best, run.

The weight of his actions, and the potential darkness to come, felt like it was about to come crashing down upon him. Like a massive wave just holding in the air above his head. He stared into the depth of it, and turned to run away. Moving around the console, he flipped switches and levers to send himself away. To escape from the ood, from tough choices, from the right choices, even from facing himself.

The Tardis heaved an internal sigh, disappointed in her Time Lord. It was time for her to take a few matters in hand. While he was inside her, especially when he was asleep, there were things she could do. She could let him run to someplace to relax his body, and she would work on his mind.

Suddenly exhausted, the Doctor turned from the console. The Tardis would be safe in the Vortex for a bit, he could rest. Something he had done so rarely ever since that day. He refused to dwell on what happened; instead he resolutely made his way into his bedroom. Not bothering with much more than removing his trainers and jacket, he folded himself onto the bed. Closing his eyes he sought out the oblivion of sleep.

Down he sank, deep down into warm depths, that started to shift to cold and gray. There was a bright point of light, a soft golden light that resolved itself into Rose. Her hair was pulled back in the front, but loose around her shoulders. The soft curling waves seemed to halo her face with golden light. She was wearing a simple white tank top, and blue jeans. Oh no, he remember this image, this day, it was burned into his memories. Her words echoed in his head as he took in her reproving gaze. "What about you Doctor, what the hell are you turning in to?" He couldn't' bear to face it, to face her, so in his dreams he twisted around and ran.

His feet were pounding on the ground, the air stirring around him, but the smell was starting to be tinged with salt. The sound of the slap of his trainers softened as they dug into sand. His hearts beating frantically, he dug his feet into the sand to make himself stop, but it was too late. There he saw the image of his duplicate kissing Rose as he turned into the Tardis.

This time however he saw what he missed that time. The way Rose broke away, and ran towards him. The way his duplicate came and took her hand, which at first was a relief that he would take care of her. But the relief was not something he was able to hold on to.

The scenes started to melt and shift around him, and all he could do was bear witness. The first time he saw his duplicate hurting Rose, something raged inside him and he tried to interfere. He wanted to grab the bastard and yank him away, but it was like fighting smoke, or being stuck in glue. He couldn't touch anything, and he couldn't move away. The only thing he could do was watch.

Scene after scene flashed in front of him, his disquiet growing. They didn't seem to come in any real order. He went from the beach, to Rose's apartment where the duplicate was yelling, no screaming at her in some sort of fit. He had her backed up to a wall, eyes wide in fear and bruises on her arms. Then he was shifted to the Tyler kitchen, must have been right after they arrived. A small blond boy was hiding behind Jackie as they sat at the table. The discussion seemed to be about helping him fit into the world. On the surface the duplicate looked happy and accommodating. Yet under the table where the Doctor could see, he had his hand clenched in a white knuckled fist. Then a scene with a much older Jackie, the toddler almost a teen, even the duplicate had a touch of white about his temple However Rose, she looked exactly the same age, if a bit thinner and quieter. The duplicate seemed perfectly fine on the surface, but there was something darker lurking underneath.

The scenes started to get even darker, and he tried to fight his way free of this nightmare. The Doctor didn't want to see these. Especially not the image of Rose pinned under the duplicate, his hands locked on her temples, and tears streaming from her eyes. The one of Rose loosing consciousness while strapped to a table in a lab was utterly disturbing. It was the last set of images that finally allowed him to break free. The duplicate in a lab, shooting everyone and causing some sort of disturbance, and then Rose being forced to shoot him before jumping into the rift.

With an anguished cry, he finally wrenched himself free and sat up in bed. In an almost violent action, he wrested free of the bedding that had become twisted around him. Lurching towards the bathroom, he stripped off his clothes heading for the shower. Once in it, he turned it to as hot as he could stand, trying to scrub the images from his mind.

Of all of the nightmares he had ever had, this was one of the worst. The Doctor couldn't imagine any circumstance where he would deliberately hurt Rose. It just wasn't possible that his duplicate could do those things. It had to be his own fears twisting his dreams. That is what he kept telling himself.

Finally he appeared in the console room, freshly dressed, but looking weary. Taking a deep breath, he tried to push everything down as he reached for the controls. It was time for him to relax and have some fun.

The Tardis let him pilot her to the destination of his choice. He had enough of a shock for the moment, and he needed time to process, or as Rose would say, brood. She didn't want to break him, just get him to think and realize what he was doing to himself. Also he needed to be prepared for when she did bring him to Rose.

She had plans for the next couple of times he slept. There would be some good dreams, memories of his time with Rose. Yet she would also share a few more of Rose's memories, and the outside viewpoint of what happened to people when he ran away. Her poor Thief needed hope as much as he needed the wake-up call. After that, he would be ready to face the ood, and then Rose.

Rose was exhausted after her first lesson with Bob. The mental work was every bit as tiring as a run with a full backpack on during a Torchwood training mission. It gave her a sense of accomplishment though, that she was taking a step towards taking control. Bob remained cheerful and encouraging the whole time.

As for the small man, he had a satisfied smile. "Very good work, why you'll make lots of progress if you keep that up, and no pretending you can't just to keep me around!" His laugh was a bit odd, but endearing.

Shaking her head, Rose smiled. "I won't pretend, and thanks."

Bob inclined his head, folding his hands across his middle. "You are most welcome. I am going to clear my schedule, so I can work with you as much as possible. Now, you probably feel pretty good right now. However you will likely have ups and downs. What I have done is put a plaster on, but you still need to heal. Sometimes that means draining the infection out."

In the background Jack sat up a bit straighter. He had been playing silent company and support for the most part, but this caught his attention. "Nightmares are likely then?"

Rose glanced back at Jack at his comment, and then to Bob, who nodded. "More than likely, Rose you will have to process what has happened to you. Sometimes it will come out in your dreams. However, the more you work it out, the fewer nightmares you will have. Now don't push yourself too hard, but, it is a good idea to find something productive to do."

Now he looked back between Jack and Rose as he talked. "That will help you feel better, and that is some of what you need my dear. Well that and my charming cheerful presence of course! For now, you shouldn't be alone. You may not have realized it before, but you'll feel the absence from having your telepathic sense cut off. Being around people will help you. Staying alone could take you to a dark place."

That made a lot of sense to Jack, too much sense when he thought of some of the Doctor's past behavior. "Don't worry Bob; we could really use her help around here. Besides I need to get all the way caught up with my best girl so I'll be sticking around her. Besides, everyone else wants to know if my stories are true, and Rosie can verify a few things for them."

Lifting his eyebrows Bob looked from Jack back to Rose. "Oh really, well I need to hear some of these stories too. Now then, time for me to be off for a bit, call if anything comes up. Otherwise I'll be back tomorrow!"

With a cheerful bounce to his step he got up and made his way out. As he left they heard a wolf whistle, and Gwen's laughter. Jack grinned a bit, and then looked at Rose.

Her expression was distant, as if she was staring far off into the distance. He simply waited quietly for her to come back to herself. When she turned to look at him, there was both hope and pain in her eyes. "Jack, it is going to get worse before it gets better, but I think, maybe it will get better."


	7. Chapter 7 - Almost Four Weeks Later

**This is set about four weeks after Rose's arrival. She's had time to settle in a bit, and start getting used to things. Stronger, but still unsure, she has a way to go.**

**Fairly light chapter, the next one is going to be heavy.**

She couldn't help it; a giggle bubbled up and burst out as Rose's feet pounded on the ground. Martha and Gwen had taken her out for some shopping, which she really needed. It had been almost a month since she had arrived, and clothing bought for you only worked for so long. So the two women decided to take Rose out for a shopping trip. However it would appear that became an invitation for trouble, hence the fact that they were now running.

Someone's illegal, and very alien, pet had gotten loose somehow into the shopping mall they were in. Since the thing was bright blue, and looked like a small fuzzy lizard, it attracted attention. At least they were pretty sure it was a pet, it showed no obvious signs of intelligence, and was wearing some sort of collar and broken lead.

With shoppers scattering, and screaming, it was obvious it needed to be caught and taken out of the public eye. To their credit, Martha and Gwen had only the briefest hesitation about Rose joining in the chase. Their biggest concerned seemed to be centered on the fact that Rose wasn't carrying a weapon.

Rose, however, was hardly concerned about that. That in itself was a concern for the two other women, but one to be dealt with later. For now they needed to focus on recapturing the creature before more damage was done. The fact was that Rose was a trained Torchwood agent, even if she was trained in another universe. Her skills would come in handy, and they quickly found out just how handy.

The three women easily slipped into teamwork. Gwen was on the phone with Jack; Martha was helping herd shoppers away, while Rose was tracking the creature with their help. Things fell surprisingly smoothly into place, and before long they had the creature cornered in the women's loo of all things.

It was there that the adrenalin of the chase faded, and Rose felt a tug of sympathy for the creature. She could see it in the stall, huddled behind the toilet, clearly afraid. Waving the other two back, she decided to see if she could coax it out. With a mental grimace she sat on the floor, the door to the stall open, and started talking to it in a coaxing voice. "Hey, I bet you are all scared and don't know what's going on. I know how that feels, to be lost and not sure where you belong. I bet someone somewhere is missing you lots though, you are such a pretty little thing."

The creature's eyes were wide, and it was panting, but it also seemed to be listening to Rose's soft voice. It cautiously peered around at her, giving a small shiver. Rose continued to coax it, laying one hand down, palm faxing up. "Are you cold? You look like you might be a little cold. You could be scared, but you don't need to be afraid of me."

The creature came out a bit more, gaze fastened on Rose. Suddenly she shivered, looking in the creature's eyes, it was like she could feel its fear, disorientation, and for some reason grief. In return it was if something in her reached out to the little creature with warmth and welcome. "S'okay I won't hurt you little one."

Shaking slightly, it started to come closer to her, as Rose continued to coax it. Step by step, until it finally was close enough to touch. Lowering its muzzle, it carefully sniffed Rose's hand, and then nudged it a little. Tentatively Rose reached to brush a hand over its head, and the creature bumped back against it. Making up its mind, it darted forward to climb into Rose's lap, making soft meeping sound.

The other two women watched wide eyed as Rose carefully cradled the creature and stood up. It was Martha that spoke first. "That was just amazing, the way you got it to come to you."

Giving a small shrug, Rose closed up her jacket, letting the creature cuddle up to her. "S'not much, it was just scared and needed a friend. Sometimes that's all you need, a friend." A half smile quirked on her face. "A friend and a hand to hold, s'all some folk really need."

The slightly distant look had Martha and Gwen exchanging glances before Gwen spoke up. "How about I fetch our bags and meet you two at the car. I can call Jack back and let him know we're bringing our new friend into the hub. See if we can't figure out where this little one is supposed to be."

Zipping up her jacket so just the lizard's head poked out Rose gave a nod. "Sounds good to me, this is a cute little thing something's going to be missing it."

Bracing a hand around her middle, Rose used it to help the creature stay secure in her jacket. As they started walking towards the vehicle Martha gave her a few sideways glances, before finally speaking. "Did someone say that to you once, about needing a hand to hold?"

Rose froze for a moment, before continuing forward. "Yeah, the Doctor did."

Noting how she froze, and then her tense body language, Martha picked her words carefully. "You don't talk about him much. If you ever want to, I'll listen."

With a small shrug Rose stared off into the distance. "Some days it's hard to think about him, it seems like a dream, or a nightmare."

Martha smiled at that, looking over at Rose as they reached the SUV. "I know exactly what you mean. There were so many wonderful adventures, but there were horrors too." She hesitated as they got in, her in the front and Rose in the back, before twisting around to talk again. "The Doctor talked about you a lot you know."

Until now they had been very careful not to bring up the subject of the Doctor to Rose, it obviously being a hard one for her to handle. So she wasn't surprised by how Rose's head snapped up, and her eyes fastened on Martha's Face. "He did?"  
>With a nod, Martha studied the surprised and vulnerable expression on Rose's face. "All the time, I heard a lot about how you would know what to do, or how brilliant you would be at something."<p>

Rose's hands clutched at the lump around her middle. "S'funny the other one would go on about how smart you were. How he was much better off with you."

The little blue wedge shaped head poked up from the jacket meeping at Rose as if it could sense her distress. Rose stroked its head as she looked down at the floor. Reaching out, Martha laid a hand on Rose's knee, the only part of her she could reach at the moment. "Rose, trust me when I say he lied to you. The Doctor always wished you were there. From what little I know, the other one lied to you, about a lot of things."

Closing her eyes Rose took a deep breath in, and let it out again. When things had gotten bad, which was almost immediately, she had always tried to keep the two separated in her head. As time went by, it got harder because she had twenty years with the other. That was ten times the time she had with the Doctor. She didn't want to listen to that voice in the back of her head that kept trying to break through the barriers. Screwing up her courage, she made a decision. "Would you mind telling me 'bout some of it, your adventures with the Doctor I mean."

Opening her eyes, Rose looked up to meet Martha's gaze. The other woman gave a slow nod studying Rose's face. "I can do that, I would be happy to tell you some."

At that moment Gwen had opened up the door dumping in the bags. "Tell Rose about what?"

They reached for the bags helping pull them into the vehicle, Rose doing so one handed as Martha explained. "Rose asked me if I would tell her about some of the adventures I had with the Doctor."

Gwen shot a look at Rose, while injecting some cheer into her voice. "Sounds great to me, from Jack's stories I would say that you should have some good ones of your own to tell."

That made Martha laugh as she settled back into her own seat. "Lots of them, more then enough to cover the ride back to the hub." Rose wrapped both arms around the lump that was the lizard again and sat back to listen.

When they got back to the hub, there was a small fuss over the lizard. The women got congratulations on catching it after the surprise of its appearance. Studying the collar, Rose pointed out that the collar was in excellent shape, but the end of the lead was not. It was possible whoever lost the lizard wasn't the original owner at all.

At this point, after having been freed of the broken leash, the lizard was obviously comfortable with Rose. It had climbed up to curl around her neck, half hidden under her hair. Anyone trying to remove it from her swiftly changed their mind as it snapped at them. Rose didn't seem to mind, lightly petting it and remaining fairly quiet. She had stayed silent as Martha regaled them with her stories on the drive.

She knew there were more, but Rose was content to sit at the computer at the moment, absently looking through files. Jack had assigned Rose the task of trying to track down equipment that had gone missing from Torchwood One, after the tower fell. There was a lot of it that needed to be found and destroyed, or placed in safe storage. That meant everything from internet sales to odd news stories and any surveillance tapes they could get their hands on. There was a lot to shift through and it was important that they find the missing pieces. It wasn't make-work, even if it was tedious at times. It was a needed job.

When Bob showed up, Rose was still at it, plugging away at files while petting her new little friend. For once, he was actually fairly quiet as he moved over and took a seat near her. Typically his arrivals were punctuated with cheerful greetings. Sometimes he brought odd things with him, included a radio controlled toy dinosaur and a bunch of balloons.

By this point, Rose had been progressing fairly well with her lessons. So she knew he was there, and they had exchanged a sort of sense of awareness that was hard to translate into words. So she wasn't surprised when he finally spoke. "I see you made a new friend there."

Keeping her eyes on the screen Rose nodded, coaxing the little lizard to climb down into her lap. For its part it regarded Bob, giving him a single meep. Leaning forward Bob offered his hand, and was rewarded with a sniff, and toleration of his petting. "I haven't seen one of these in ages."

That got Rose's full attention and she turned her head to look at Bob. "You know what it is?"

Beaming his typical smile, he continued to pet the creature. "Of course, it's a Creelmeeple from the planet of Thrixcora. They aren't far from my home planet. With the size and color, I think you have a young female on your hands. They can be a popular pet back there, because it usually is very loyal to its owner. I can check around if anyone lost one if you like."

Chewing on the side of her nail Rose nodded once. :"Yeah, s'probably good idea. Someone might be missing it. You don't talk about it much, your home planet."

Bob gave a good natured shrug. "Eh, most of the folks back home think I'm a bit weird. That was part of the reason I left. Being telepaths you'd think the society would be more accepting, but really ours wasn't. Too many rules, and they were a bunch of stuffed shirts. Ended up here, really liked the planet so I stayed."

Rose studied Bob, continuing to chew on the side of her nail as she asked her questions. "Do you miss it, your home planet I mean?"

Sitting back, Bob folded his hands across his stomach thinking it over. "The planet at times more then the people, as much as I like Earth, there are times I miss it. Though I have learned over the years, what ends up being your real home, is where you feel loved and appreciated. Someplace that just fits you."

Her expression flickered as she thought about what he said. The little lizard took the opportunity to climb back up to curl around Rose's neck, with her shifting to accommodate that. "Not sure I have a home. I mean, staying with Jack's been great, and so are the people here. Just not sure I belong. To be honest haven't felt like I've had a real home for a very long time."

Shrugging his shoulders, Bob's fingers flicked up and then back into their folded position. "Sometimes it takes a while to find the right place, or people. What was the last place you thought of as home?"

With a shake her head Rose looked down. "Doesn't matter, wasn't my home really."

Raising an eyebrow, Bob just studied her. "What makes you say that?"

"Cause it wasn't really."

"Why not?"

"You aren't going to let this go now are you?"

"Nope."

Rolling her eyes to try and hide her discomfort, Rose finally looked at him. "It was the Doctor's ship, called the Tardis."

His expression calm, Bob persisted with his questions. "So why wasn't it your home. A ship can be a home and you lived there for a couple of years."

There was a small moment of silence; the expression in Rose's eyes was fierce. It was apparent she was thinking very hard over this one. "If you asked me that three weeks ago, I'd say it was because he never really wanted me there. Because that was what the other told me, over and over again, that I wasn't what the Doctor wanted."

"And now?"

"Now, now I don't know anymore. I know what Jack and them tell me they think is the truth. I know that what the other told me is probably a pack of lies, but I don't know what the Doctor really thinks. Maybe once I thought I did, but I don't anymore. And I can't, I'm not ready to face him."

With a small shudder Rose reached up to pet the lizard that gave a small meep and rubbed her head against Rose's cheek. "I know, they aren't the same, but they have the same face, same voice. M'not ready yet, and I'm not sure when I will be."

Sitting up, Bob leans forward, shifting so his folded hands rest on his knees. "So we do the next best thing."

Curious, she blinks and looks at him. "What's that?"

"Confront the bit of the other you have in your head. It is time Rose, time to face the monster."


	8. Chapter 8 - Facing the Madman

**Rose goes into her own mind, to face her tormentor. **

**Chapter warnings: Definitely some heavy stuff going on there, Rose implying some past non-con at one point. **

**Thank you so much to everyone that has reviewed and supported this story! For those that are Nine fans, you are about to find out how he fits into this story.**

_With a small shudder, Rose reached up to pet the lizard that gave a small meep and rubbed her head against Rose's cheek. "I know, they aren't the same, but they have the same face, same voice. M'not ready yet, and I'm not sure when I will be."_

_Sitting up, Bob leans forward, shifting so his folded hands rest on his knees. "So we do the next best thing."_

_Curious, she blinks and looks at him. "What's that?"_

_"Confront the bit of the other you have in your head. It is time Rose, time to face the monster."_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For a moment Rose just stared at him. "Are you insane?!"

Bob beamed a cheerful smile at her. "Well if you want to get technical about it, there are about twenty, or hmm no twenty five planets out there that would declare me legally insane, but that is beside the point!" His voice gentled, and his expression shifted back towards serious. "You can do this Rose; you have been working so hard, and very intensely. But to really truly take control back, you need to face this shadow."

Shoving her chair back, Rose stood up and started to pace. The blue lizard gave a small meep at the sudden movement, and then just curled around Rose's throat in a protective gesture. Rose reached up to pet her as she paced back and forth. Every now and then Rose would stop and stare at Bob, then go back to her pacing.

Having heard Rose raise her voice, Mickey drifted over, casually leaning against the wall. He watched Rose pace, reflecting that it was not unlike watching a wolf pace inside a cage. "What's the matter babe?"

Rose stopped, and turned towards Mickey. "I'm not ready."

Stepping in the room, Jack shot a glance at Bob, and then to Rose. "What are you not ready for?"

"Rose," Bob watched her as she resumed pacing. "Say it out loud; it will make you feel better. You know that it isn't a matter of being ready, tell them what it really is."

Twisting, she faced him, with a small scowl on her face. "M'afraid, is that what you want to hear? I know he can hurt me, and I don't want t'lose myself." Abruptly she sat down in a chair, the blue lizard making a soft thrumming noise trying to reassure her.

Getting up, Bob moved to Rose, and in a rare gesture, cupped his hands around hers. The telepath seldom actually touched anyone, even in relaxed camaraderie. Now, he chose to do so, and Rose felt a wave of warm calm wash over her from him. "Now listen to me, you are more then strong enough. I'm going to be honest with you, he can hurt you, and he'll always have that ability, if you don't deal with him. I wouldn't suggest this if didn't think you were ready."

Releasing her hands and straightening up, Bob's mercurial moods switched, he was back to beaming a smile. "Besides, if I did something that risked you, I'd have to deal with your friends over there. They can be a scary bunch when they want to be."

"Too right mate." Mickey's response was almost immediate, and helped further break the tension in Rose.

Jack studied Bob and Rose, folding his arms across his chest and planting his feet. It was a mannerism that reminded Rose strongly of the Doctor from when he wore the leather jacket. Whether that was deliberate or not, it gave her comfort. "What exactly is going to happen here, and how can we help Rose."

Beaming a smile, Bob turned to Jack. "So glad you asked. What we really need is a place that is quiet, and where we won't be disturbed. Getting disrupted in the middle of this could cause some problems. I mean we really don't want her coming out of it thinking she's a chicken, or a Pendranic rooster. Neither of those are a good option."

Giving Bob an odd look Jack nodded. "Right, well you can use our meeting room, and we can set a guard outside so no one goes in."

Mickey pushed off the wall, giving a nod in Jack's direction. "I got it boss; you just try to keep the rest of this place from becoming more of a mad house."

"Perfect!" Bob beamed his smile, looking back and forth. "I'll act as Rose's anchor and back up. Just don't let anyone disturb us until we are done."

Head bent down, Jack heaved a sigh and moved over to Rose. "Sweetheart, remember this, you are strong, and beautiful, and amazing. No matter what happens, you are always worth fighting for. If I could do this for you, I would. But I know you can, I believe in you." Wrapping her in a hug he presses a kiss to the top of her head.

Rose lets his warmth wash over her, hugging him back tightly. When she was ready, she loosened her grip and pulled back. "Okay, m'ready." Her hand went to the lizard still curled around her neck. "What about her?"

Mickey was leading them towards the room as Bob answered. "Oh, you can leave her. Her kind is slightly telepathic, which is one of the reasons she's latched on to you. She'll be a nice little booster of support, but she won't get carried along into your mind, and it can't hurt her."

Cheered a little, Rose petted the little lizard that thrummed back in support. "Thought she might be, when we rescued her, kinda felt like I could feel what she was feeling."

They entered the board room and Bob sauntered over to one end of the table, gesturing for Rose to take a seat to the left hand side of him. "That can happen, now just get comfortable."

Mickey took a look around the room, stopping to give Rose a smile. "I'll be right out here the whole time. I know you got this, Jack's right." Flashing a smile, he closed the door."

Taking her time, Rose settled into her seat, getting comfortable. She spent a few moments and just relaxed, focusing on calming and clearing her head. One by one she found all the little concerns of the day. She either tucked them away, or released them so they didn't concern her anymore.

When her mind was as clear as she could get, considering, she turned towards Bob with a nod. "Okay, I'm ready."

He reached over and took one of her hands in his own. "I'm going to be your anchor, which basically means, I'll be keeping an eye on you. If you get into serious trouble, I'll draw you back out and put blockers in place. I don't think you are going to need that though. You can do this Rose; you need to just believe in yourself. Now close your eyes, and think of that voice. You'll know what to do after that."

The little lizard gave a meep, as if echoing Bob's words as Rose smiled and closed her eyes. Keeping her breathing slow and even, she turned her focus inward. For the first time, she deliberately thought of the voice that had been tormenting her.

It was like trying to push through a resistant mental fog. Though to be truthful it didn't seem to be resisting her per say, more like she had to push it out of the way. It closed in behind her, obviously closing this part off from other things.

Finally she moved through it, and she suddenly found herself standing in what looked like an old gothic cathedral. The ceilings were high, much higher then she had ever seen in any church she had been to. It was almost dizzying to look up at them. There were cracks that ran along the ceiling, and across some of the walls. The air was cold and carried the scent of dust, not so heavy that it would choke her, but noticeable.

Lining the walls were bookcases, which were rather odd to see in a cathedral, but somehow fit in here. Some were neat and orderly; however others had not fared so well. It looked like someone had set them on fire, and then quickly put it out, leaving half charred and smoked smudged volumes behind. Others had books missing from the shelves. Since there were quite a few books scattered around, some of them lying open on the floor, she could see where they had gone too.

The rest of the room seemed to follow the cathedral theme, at least mostly. There were stone pews that were haphazardly lining the long stretch of the room. There were bright stained glassed windows, which depicted what she recognized as the circular Gallifreyan script. They let in some streams of light that kept the place from being too dark. It was still on the dimmer side of lighting, but at least there was some.

There seemed to be an old style record player off to the side. What it was playing, while in itself was fairly harmless, it didn't help her feel relaxed in this place. There was a popping sound that didn't seem part of the music, and some static to it. She recognized a tune that was part of an old Disney cartoon. "Who's afraid of the Big Bad Wolf, the Big Bad Wolf, the Big Bad Wolf? Who's afraid of the Big Bad Wolf, Tra la la la." The record was endlessly skipping so it played that section over and over again.

As for Rose, she found herself in a fairly familiar outfit. It was the blue leather coat she wore when she used the Dimensional Cannon. Black slacks, boots, and a simple jumper completed the outfit. Taking a few steps, the noise of her boot-steps echoing drew her attention to another noise. It was the sound of a ball being bounced against a wall and floor over and over again.

She followed the sound, until she found him. He was wearing that blue suit and maroon shirt underneath. The red chucks were on his feet and he was seated on the floor with his back to the sides of a stone pew. One leg was drawn up, the other laid flat on the ground. He looked no older then when they had been on that beach. Endlessly he was throwing a small ball so it bounced off the wall and ground and came back to him. "Ah look what the wolf dragged in, the mighty Rose Tyler, finally come to see me. It took you long enough." Rose shivered a little as his voice sent icy splinters down her spine.

Throwing the ball a bit too hard, it ricocheted off the wall and arched up over his head and was lost somewhere in the gloomy depths of the room. Getting up from his seat he dusted himself off. Then eyes narrowed he gave Rose a once over, moving to slowly walk around her in a circle. "Oh what do we have here, Rose Tyler, Defender of Earth, Dimensional Jumper. She was heedlessly throwing herself across the void, so convinced she needed to find the Doctor to help save the day. What a fool you were then, thinking that the Doctor was going to welcome you back with open arms. Well, he did for a moment, but he didn't keep you with him now did he?"

There it was the sick, sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach at those words. The ones that hurt the most, and he was an expert at digging the knife in and twisting it. His circle had ended so that he was facing her, barely a foot away. "What you have nothing to say to me? Well I have plenty to say after you had me trapped in here. I'm the one that's in charge around here, and you have seemed to forgotten that!"

When he reached to shove her back, it was as if something still and strong inside her said one simple word, no. She grabbed his wrist and used his own momentum to toss him forward so he landed on his back. She could almost hear the words, good girl, whispered to her, in a warm familiar voice tinged with a Northern burr.

He quickly scrambled to his feet, practically spitting in his anger. "What the hell do you think you are doing, you are supposed to be listening to me! Oh no, Rose Tyler thinks she knows best for everyone, stubborn, stupid, shop girl that you are. You are barely bright enough to operate what was put in front of you."

That stung, but it was the kind of stinging that evoked anger. "Stupid ape am I? Then what does that make you, you were half human yourself. I'm the one that found a way back to the Doctor when he said it wasn't possible. I'm the one that fixed the timeline where he died. If I'm stupid, then that makes you an imbecile!"

She took one step towards him, and he gave the tiniest of flinches before bristling back at her. "Oh great job there, you found a way back to the person that didn't want you. He dumped you with me on that beach remember? He couldn't even tell you the words you wanted to hear, I'm the one that said them to you."

Unfortunately for him, that just evoked the memory of a conversation she had with Bob about a week ago. They were sitting around talking, when Gwen had wandered in with questions. A lively discussion about telepathic verses other types of communication sprung up. Bob's words had held clarify several things that had bothered her. "You see, with a truly telepathic society, there are literally things that are rarely, if ever, said out loud. Because even without constant communication, there are things, especially if they are emotional, that just doesn't need to be said. Instead, people are shown by action, and by the emotion that is shared between them. In some cases, the need to say them out loud could be considered a personal failing. In that case, actually saying them can be incredibly hard to do."

So Rose steeled herself, and kept her response calm, in sharp contrast to his angry ranting. "You are right, he didn't say them. Because he's not human for all that he likes to be around them. For him, saying things could mean something totally different. Yeah, maybe he should have said it; he knew how it was important to me. But he had his reasons for not saying it, and someday I'll ask him."

He went silent at that, taking a step back. Rose decided to take that advantage and step forward, closer to him. "For you, you were part human, so you understood the need because the bit of you that was Donna. So you could say it, you could say so many things that he couldn't. What happened to you, what happened to that man on the beach that wanted to share a life with me, to grow old with me?"

That seemed to spark the anger inside him again. He advanced, and her fragile courage faltered at his blazing eyes, backing up as he ranted until her back smacked into one of the bookcases. "You rejected me! Everything rejected me. I was the only Time Lord in that universe, smarter then every stinking human on that planet. They should have been listening to me, instead of trying to order me around."

He gestured wildly, so caught up in his own anger, that he barely had any control. "The Tardis coral died, I had nothing but you left, and you rejected me! It was so horribly empty in my head, no Tardis, you keeping me at arm's length, how was I supposed to protect you that way? It's your own fault, what I had to do to make sure you were safe."

Tears slid down her cheeks as her fragile courage quailed. Her body shook, wanting to just run away from this ranting, raving, creature that wore the face of the man she had loved. But Jack believed in her, so did Mickey, and Martha, and so many others. Gathering up the pieces of her courage, she swallowed and answered him. "You didn't give me enough time to adjust. Yeah, I reacted on that beach, finally hearing the words I needed. But I still needed time, my world had been turned upside down again, just like yours was. What did you expect? That I would just follow you around and worship at your feet? Accept you automatically? I needed time, and you didn't seem to understand that. You were different, maybe same memories, same voice and face, but you thought a bit differently. You were your own man, and we needed to build things together."

Wide eyed he took at step back again, staring at her. So she pressed her momentary advantages. "That's how real relationships work, not treating someone like a disobedient pet. You f-forced yourself on me, and in my head, when I wasn't ready fast enough for you, how was that protecting me?" She didn't wait for him to respond, but followed that up with more words. "That was the utter opposite of protecting me. You experimented on me without my permission or knowledge. That was for your own selfish desire to not be human any more."

"What the hell did being human ever give me except pain and misery?"

Wheeling away from her, he stalked over to one of the stone pews. Taking his foot to the back of it he shoved it hard so it toppled forward. The ones in front of it fell like a row of dominoes. There was an explosion of wing-beats and the whirring sound of pigeons in flight as they escaped the boom of the pews crashing to the ground. It was an enormous show of strength, for those pews were stone, and thus had to be heavy.

Giving a bitter laugh, he whirled back to face Rose, arms spread wide. "That is all life is really, pain. They should have thanked me for finding a way to end it all. But no, you had to choose them over me. You couldn't support me even though I was finding us a way home. My experiments meant we wouldn't have to be human anymore. I had to do it, you weren't listening! You are mine!"

He practically bit out the last words advancing on her. Swallowing she shook her head, reaching to hold on to the strength she could feel flowing from Bob, the reassurance that he was still out there. "No, I'm not."

That seemed to make him even angrier, infuriated he reached for her arm. Gripping it hard he yanked her towards him. "No? No?! You aren't allowed to say no!"

He was in her face, practically screaming the words, with a punishing grip on her arm. Rose started to shake, it was hard, oh so hard, and she felt alone. But a surge of warm strength helped remind her she wasn't really. She could remember Jack's smile as he swept her up in a hug. Mickey, taking her out for chips with Martha, who patiently went over her medical files trying to help Gwen taking her shopping and even Ianto there, just there when she needed a cup of tea, or just someone so she wasn't alone. She had friends, she had a sort of family, and they believed in her. She even had Bob as back up. So she took deep breath, pulling on that strength. "I said no. You aren't the man you could have been. I'm regret that I didn't see how much pain you were in, but you made your own choices. You twisted everything we could have been. Get. Your. Hands. Off. Me."

He smirked as she spaced out the last words, pulling her so close that his face was inches from hers. "And just what do you think you are going to do about it?"

That was when they both found out how good Rose's right hook was. One moment he was there in her face, the next he was sprawled out few feet away. Oddly enough he started to laugh, sprawled out there on the ground. "So the wolf finally has teeth. Doesn't matter, you can't get rid of me anyways. Not if you want to live."

Her eyes narrowed at that. "Just what do you mean by that?"

He waved a hand at the cathedral. "See this? I keep this intact, and all the possibilities within it. Get rid of me and it collapses, bleeding into the rest of your human little brain and burning it from the inside. Stuck with me you are, for better or worse. Personally I'll make it your worse.'

She gaped at him, grappling with that, when a familiar voice with a Northern burr had them both snapping their heads in its direction.

"You so sure of that now?"

Out of the shadows stepped a familiar figure. Close cropped dark hair, icy blue eyes, a good bit more muscular then the fallen figure, battered leather jacket and all. The man on the floor sputtered. "You?! I thought I got rid of you?"

The dark haired man gave a wide and very cold smile. "Hard to get rid of, me."

Rose stared, not quite sure what was going on. "Doctor?"

Her quiet question had him turning towards her with a much gentler smile. "It's complicated. Th' short story is, I'm th' one that's supposed to be guarding this stuff. That is until pretty boy there showed up. Because you are fighting back now, now I can get rid of him, if you want."


	9. Chapter 9 - Letting Go

**Nine spells out Rose's choices. Lots of angst here.**

**Thank you so much for the reviews! I hope the end to the confrontation lives up to everything.**

_Out of the shadows stepped a familiar figure. Close cropped dark hair, icy blue eyes, a good bit more muscular then the fallen figure, battered leather jacket and all. The man on the floor sputtered. "You?! I thought I got rid of you?"_

_The dark haired man gave a wide and very cold smile. "Hard to get rid of, me."_

_Rose stared, not quite sure what was going on. "Doctor?"_

_Her quiet question had him turning towards her with a much gentler smile. "It's complicated. Th' short story is, I'm th' one that's supposed to be guarding this stuff. That is until pretty boy there showed up. Because you are fighting back now, now I can get rid of him, if you want."_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She took one step towards him, and then another, and suddenly she was flying into his arms. He held her close, arms wrapped tightly around her as she buried her face into his jumper. Taking a deep breath, she took in his scent, and it was the same as always. He smelled of spice, leather, a hint of grease, and that indefinable scent she associated with Time. Rose wasn't sure if she wanted to laugh or cry, instead she just hugged him tight, her arms slid between his jacket and jumper. He made her feel warm and safe.

The fallen man in the blue suit scrambled to his feet with a snarl. He started towards them, hands twitching. "No, she's mine!"

He stopped dead in his tracks when the solider picked his head up and pierced him with an icy glare. "I don't think you want to do that." With a little growl the blue suited man stalked off, occasionally circling back around while keeping his distance.

Finally, bolstered by his presence, Rose pulled back studying the beloved face of her first Doctor. Every little detail was exactly how it was in her memories. He felt so solid under her hands, and yet, she knew it couldn't really be him. "You look like him, feel like him, but you aren't exactly him are you?"

His smile for her was gentle, reaching to cup the side of her face. "Clever girl, I'm a bit of this a bit of that. Part of the Tardis, part of the defenses the Doctor set up for you, part of you, add a bit of jiggery pokery and you come up with me."

Rose blinked at that, and then her eyebrows drew together as she thought. "The Doctor set those up after Cassandra, I get that, but part of the Tardis? Why do you look like this you?"

He gave a small shrug, his voice a bit dry. "Apparently that is what your mind picked out to be a protector. Something you should be telling me Rose Tyler?"

His eyes twinkled with amusement and she gave him a mock hit on the arm. "Oi, stop trying to distract me, you. Now you said you are part of the Tardis?"

"That is going to take a bit of explaining." He guided her over to a relatively undamaged pew and sat down with her. There was some crashing noises and cursing as the blue suited man prowled around their periphery. "Don't mind him, long as you and I are talking like this, he can't get any closer, at least for now."

Something about him was just, secure. If her subconscious picked this out, then it picked out a powerful image for her. One that would help her face whatever came next. "Alright, start talking."

He gave a nod, resting one arm along the back of the pew as he shifted to face her. "Right, well best be starting at th' beginning then. That would be with Bad Wolf, what do you remember from when you ripped open the heart of the Tardis to come after me?"

Rose's gaze turned inward as she chewed on her bottom lip. "Not a lot, there was singing, and a bright gold light. Next thing I knew I was waking up inside the Tardis and then you regenerated. The other, well him, he explained to me later when I asked that I had dusted the Daleks and made Jack into a fact." Then her face fell a little. "That you had to take the energy out of me and it cost you one of your regenerations."

Reaching out, he gently took her chin to get her to look up at him. "I did that with no regrets. You were worth it, and that's not your subconscious talking, it's the bits I get from the Doctor. No hesitation, not when it comes to saving your life."

She studied his face, and then gave a slow nod. He smiled, and then continued. . "Right, well to sum it up, you temporarily became part of th' Tardis. The Bad Wolf is literally when you and th' Tardis act as one. Now humans, not supposed to survive that, and you wouldn't have if you kept the energy. Why you survived at all was because you and th' Tardis bonded in that moment. You choose each other, even if you don't remember that fact. Now nothing save death can break that bond. It can be suppressed by distance, by blocks, but never broken.

"At the same time you weren't too keen on the idea of being separated from your Doctor, so you started the changes on you. It was supposed to be slow, that is until th' half ape over there mucked with it. Most of it can't be reversed, and while you don't remember it, you chose this."

Neither of them flinched at the sudden burst of cursing across the way. Instead they stayed focused on their conversation. Rose frowned slightly and then nodded. "You said most of it, so what does that mean, where do I go from here?"

"You'll have a choice Rose, you will never be fully human or fully Time Lord, but something between the two. If you get hurt, and by hurt I mean fatal, you'll have a choice to make. Time Lords, we have to fight to stop regeneration. For you, you'll have to choose and work to trigger it. If you do choose it, that's when this can become a part of you." He waved a hand at the cathedral.

"Now we get to th' even trickier choices, 'because it has to do with you, him, and the Doctor." He watched her carefully as she stilled, and drew her in close so she was tucked against his side.

There was a part of her that just clung to him. When it was time, it would be hard for her to leave, even if this wasn't really him.

He studiously did not look directly at her face as he explained the next part. "Well during the whole Bad Wolf bit, you put a claim on me, sort of. Strictly speaking I didn't have to use the method to draw the power out of you that I did, which was a kiss."

Thinking hard, she rested her head on his chest, listening to the rumble of his words. "Now that is when a tentative link formed between the' two of us. The unfortunate side affect was, it gave th' half ape a way in here. You shouldn't be able to have two bonds, but he had an in because of the' one you did. Then he's different enough, that what developed, or was built, was different. He's dead, so you've got a mad construct in here, and it's suppressing the link to the Doctor. It's almost like an open wound in your mind."

Suddenly she reached up to press her wrist against his forehead. He scowled and looked down at her. "Oi! What was that for?"

Her grin flashed, the one with her tongue poking out of the side of her smile. "Checking to see if you are sick or something, this is the most explaining you have ever done."

Rolling his eyes at her, he huffed. "Rose, I did explain I'm a part of you and the Tardis too right? You want information; you're getting it, now if you will let me continue."

She dropped her wrist from his forehead and flapped her hand at him. "Go on then."

His tone had a bit of sarcastic bite to it. "Oh thank you very much Miss Tyler. Now where was I? Ah yes, th' broken bond, and th' half ape are basically blocking the other bond you have. I'm not talking about the one with the Tardis, mind. So, you have a choice to make here.

"Option number one, you do nothing and nothing will change. He stays up here, and I go back into the shadows. Option number two, you outright kick his sorry bum out, and I go back to being the caretaker. That immediately unblocks th' other link and you better believe the Doctor will notice that. It's also going to hurt, quite a bit, because he's not going to go quietly. Option number three, you start to let him go, strengthen me, and I keep him contained until he fades away. You gotta face him in order to do that. The other link gets uncovered gradual like. It's like the difference between starting a fire from embers, or with an explosive."

At this, Rose twists around to catch a glimpse of the blue suited man. He's off to the side, scowling. He makes no effort to get closer though, even though his hands clenching and unclenching give the impression of barely leashed violence. "What happens to him, what happened to him to make him that way?"

The leather jacketed man gives a small sigh. "No easy answer to that one Rose. Not even for me. In a sense one of the reasons he's still here is you haven't let him go. While he's hurting you, he's a familiar hurt, letting him go means opening up to something else.

"As for what happened to him, I can only speculate. The thing is, Time Lords were never meant to be completely cut off from the rest. So even though he's only half, there's this great gaping hole in his mind. Without the Tardis, and without you choosing to participate in the link, it could have slowly turned him mad. Now, even with the hack job he did on you, he was still cooking when Mr. I Think I Know Best dropped you off on the beach. Apparently I regenerated into a git. No way of knowing now, but something could have been thrown off by it. Not highly recommended to travel the void fresh from regenerating. Something in the process of being a meta-crisis could have done it. One alone could have done the job, with everything that happened, surprising he could actually act sane at all."

Biting her lip again, she asks the question foremost on her mind. "Could I have prevented it? I was supposed to make him better…."

"And that statement from you is why th'current Doctor needs a good talking to. Well that is one of the reasons." Scowling, the leather clad man looks ready to have a talk with the Doctor, one that might not involve actual words.

Rose swallowed, thinking over her options. "M'not ready for the consequences of option two, not now. While a part of me says go with option one, which only hurts me, that's not entirely true is it?"

She could feel his steady regard on her. "You know th' answer to that Rose."

Letting her breath out she gave a nod. "Yeah, cause it will hurt the people that care about me. So option three it is."

He pressed a kiss on the top of her head. "That's my girl. Now you know what you need to do. It's time to let go."

She clung to him a moment more, gathering her courage. Four weeks ago, she had arrived to this universe, a shattered mess. Three weeks ago, every time she slept she had screaming nightmares that Jack had to wake her from. Two weeks ago, Jack actually yelled at her for pulling a stunt that risked her life. One week ago, she had finally talked about her family in the other universe. Today, today was the day she faced the shadow of her tormentor.

A part of her screamed that it was far too soon, that she wasn't ready, even as she got up. The calm part of her reflected she would probably never think she was ready. She was here now, she had people believing in her, and she needed to try. So she turned towards the blue suited man. Behind her, she could tell her leather clad protector was following. He was a reassuring presence at her back.

Rose studied the man in the blue suit, deliberately bringing to mind all her dreams she once had for a life with him. Yes, this him, the dreams she had dared to hope for after that second trip to the bay. They had slowly crumbled, and even when she was left holding empty promises, she had still held on to the dream. It was time to let go.

He sneered at her, but didn't approach, flicking a gaze at the soldier behind her. "So, come to be my executioner, again? Once wasn't enough for you?" He gave a smirk as she flinched slightly. "Oh I thought you liked me that way, you did it after all. I think I should remind you of your handiwork."

Suddenly his form rippled, and now he appeared older. He was graying at the temples, and his suit was now soaked in the blood. Rose staggered back a moment at the sight, and felt the reassuring hands that reached to steady her.

Steeling herself, she stepped forward again, facing her nightmare. "Doctor, I have something to say."

He blinked going very still, almost gaping at her. As a rule she rarely would call him that. Yet now she was, it and confused the shadow in front of her. "Yeah, you, cause after all, you are a part of the same man. You didn't ask to be created, or dumped on that beach."

Warily he watched her, not sure where she was going with this. "Wasn't what either of us wanted. An' we broke each other a bit. M'sorry I couldn't help you, but m'not going t'let you hurt me anymore."

"I loved you once." Here her voice broke, even as she struggled on. "How could I not? You are part of the Doctor, even if you went mad."

He swelled up with anger now, hands clenched and shaking. "I don't want your pity!" He practically spit the words out. "You were supposed to be mine!"

Angry, he took a step towards her, only to stop short as the solider narrowed his eyes and took a step towards him. "You're going to want to rethink that."

With a growl, the blue suited man turned, grabbing his hair in his hands. Rose took one step towards him. "Don't, don't hurt yourself more. S'time for the pain to stop, for both of us. I'm letting you go, I'm saying goodbye to that life, those dreams. Time for you to let go too, then, we'll both find peace."

He turned towards her, hands still in his hair, and then he slowly dropped them as he gave an empty laugh. "You never were really mine, were you? You were his, always. I'm so tired now." His voice was quiet now, the blood fading away and the signs of aging reversing. The fight had faded out of him, and only the worn out man was left.

The man in the leather jacket stepped around Rose and towards the echo. "Time for you to go lad, you can rest now."

He shook his head slightly, not quiet done. "Wait; there is something I never told Rose."

"Rose, this place, this place can hold what her mind can't safely contain. Find her; take that telepath that was helping you with you. Find the lost, and give her the memories back." At her puzzled look his lips twisted in an almost smile. "The third Doctor, now hidden away, find her, set her free. She didn't deserve what had to happen to her, anymore then we deserved what happened to us. And Rose, when the Doctor comes, and he will come, tell him the name I chose for myself. It will make sense to him, and he should know just what he left behind."

His hands started to shake, and he closed his eyes. When he spoke, it was in a quiet almost pleading tone. "Make me go now, before the madman lashes out again. If I go now, then my last act will have been of something good."

Rose nodded, tears starting to slip down her cheeks. "Goodbye Doctor, I hope you find your peace." He nodded at her words and turned, slowly walking away. The cracks in the walls and ceiling started to close.

The image of her first Doctor turned towards her, taking one long step to wrap her up in a hug. "Time for us all to go now, so none of that fussing. Just remember, I'll always be here, in your mind and heart, or hearts, whichever you choose. And Rose, you were fantastic."

Pressing a kiss to her forehead, he whirled away. Rose, sight blurring from tears whispered after him. "And so were you."


	10. Chapter 10 - Donna

**Rose talks Bob into helping her with Donna. **

**No heavy stuff in this chapter, just helping Donna. Next Chapter should be Doctor centric. Time for the Doctor to see the Ood and get a few surprises.**

**I cannot thank you guys enough for the reviews, they are so encouraging.**

_His hands started to shake, and he closed his eyes. When he spoke, it was in a quiet almost pleading tone. "Make me go now, before the madman lashes out again. If I go now, then my last act will have been of something good."_

_Rose nodded, tears starting to slip down her cheeks. "Goodbye Doctor, I hope you find your peace." He nodded at her words and turned, slowly walking away. The cracks in the walls and ceiling started to close. _

_The image of her first Doctor turned towards her, taking one long step to wrap her up in a hug. "Time for us all to go now, so none of that fussing. Just remember, I'll always be here, in your mind and heart, or hearts, whichever you choose. And Rose, you were fantastic."_

_Pressing a kiss to her forehead, he whirled away. Rose, sight blurring from tears whispered after him. "And so were you."_

_********************************_

The Tardis hummed to herself, things were progressing nicely. Her little Wolf's wounds were healing. Her Thief had been running, yet he had not turned back to the darkness. Instead the memories she had been inserting into his dreams seemed to be helping. It was almost time to bring them together again. But first, there was a task that each of them needed to do . On her part, it was time for her to take her Thief to the Ood, he was ready.

Her Wolf needed time yet, recovering from her mental battle. She had a bit of time, but there was something drawing near, something that risked all of time. Skipping him ahead, would cut things close, but her Thief was sometimes better, when he didn't have time to over-think.

** 

Wrapping both hands around the coffee cup, Rose gave a half smile to Bob who was sitting across from her. He mimicked her motion, leaning in towards her, keeping his voice just a notch below conversational. "So, you want to tell me what this is all about? Not that I don't enjoy a nice trip to Chiswick. But sadly I don't think this is about running away with me. So, why Chiswick and why this Coffee Shop?"

Rose's eyes dropped to the menu of the Bad Wolf Café. Her lips twitched up for a moment, before relaxing back into the half smile. "As for the last question, it has special meaning for me. For the first, I need to ask you a couple of questions before I explain."

Tapping his fingers on his mug, Bob gave her a bright smile. "As long as I don't have to take a test afterwards, rather rubbish at them. For some reason when you take a test they don't like it when you rewrite the questions to suit your answers, go figure!"

She had to grin at that, amusement sparkling in her eyes briefly before fading. "No tests, just the opportunity to help someone else out."

"Oh?" Bob's eyebrows lifted. "Well on with the questions then."

Taking a sip of coffee, she studied him before starting. "First question, how strong do you think my mind is now?"

He made a show of carefully studying her, tipping his head one way and then the other almost bird like. "I'd say stronger then you ever have been. It's been two weeks since your confrontation, and it is rather remarkable the difference. To be honest Rose, I've never seen anything like it."

Her hands tightened on her mug as she thought that over. Then giving a nod she moved on. "Okay, second question, you have always helped me from the outside, never actually gone into my mind, why?"

Leaning back, he released his coffee mug to fold his hands over his stomach. "Oh, that is a much trickier question. Well, there are several reasons. First, you already had so many outside influences in your head. Adding mine to it could cause an overload, alterations to your personality; quite frankly you were too weak in the beginning for me to safely do it."

She looked thoughtful, taking a sip of her coffee. "What about now though, you did say I was stronger."

Giving a shrug, his fingers briefly straightened before folding together again. "For one, it is a rather intimate thing to do, especially between two telepaths. It is less so when one of them is not. In your case particularly, I really don't want to make the people connected to you angry for trespassing."

Her brows furrowed as she worked that one out. "Hang on, you mean the Tardis and…. oh. Well, I could see why you would be cautious there. Well, the good news is I supposed I don't actually want you to go into my head."

"I sense a but coming here."

Her lips quirked in a half smile. "Yeah well, I was asked to seek someone out and help her, and to bring you along for help."

Taking his nod as permission to continue she gathered her thoughts. "See the thing is, she literally saved the universe, but at a cost. A Time Lord's gifts were essentially down loaded into her brain, but a human's brain isn't capable of handling it. Left intact, her brain would burn and she would die. So what was done was all her memories of what had happened were repressed. The problem is, memories make who we are, and her experiences which she was forced to forget had really allowed her to realize how brilliant she was."

"I see." Picking his cup of coffee back up to take a sip he gestured with it first. "I take it you have a plan? How did you find out about all that?"

Rose's half smile reappeared. "Some of it I saw, some of it Jack told me. I was told, by the unwelcome guest in my head, that there is a place in my head that could handle it. It was his last request really; he wanted to do something good before he … left."

Bob gave Rose a very intent look. "So, let me get this straight, you want to find a woman that doesn't remember anything about what happened. You want to extract the dangerous part of her brain and put it in yours. Said dangerous thing could possibly burn out her brain if let loose. And you are taking the word of a madman about the whole thing, and trusting he wasn't trying to hurt you by asking you to do it. There is the added bonus that since you are telling me here, you didn't tell the rest what you wanted to do. So they are probably not going to be happy when we get back, does that sum it all up?"

Cheerily she answered him, "Yep, that about covers it."

He leaned in again towards her grinning. "When do we start?"

Her full smile flashed, and for a moment, she looked truly happy. "You remind me a bit of him you know, the Doctor I mean."

Bob's posture and expression shifted, looking very innocent. "Do I now?"

With a curious tilt of her head she noted the change. "Is that deliberate on your part? Hang on, you don't even know him."

With a small smile Bob tented his fingers on the table. "Rose, my species are telepaths and we adapt to make people comfortable. It is instinct for us. Now mind you we don't go into anyone's minds and pick things out, it just happens. I'm still, well me, but sometimes we adopt mannerisms instinctively, especially when we are trying to help."

Chewing on her lip she nodded. "Like the earth chameleon, who changes colors to blend in. Only your lot does it with behaviors."

"Exactly so, not meant to trick anyone, mostly it's a survival technique. However it does come in hand for fitting in, and a great trick for office parties. "

She smiled and her gaze wandered to outside. Suddenly her eyes widened in recognition. Bob turned to see what she was looking at, and there was an older man standing out there looking astonished to see Rose. "As for getting started, I'd say right about now."

It didn't take much for them to convince Wilf to let them help Donna. In fact, he greeted Rose with a question if she could find the Doctor to help Donna. Apparently saving someone's life from the Daleks with a giant gun leaves an impression, he had no trouble remembering her. When he found out that she wanted to help Donna herself, he all but tried to drag them back to the house. Sylvia was gone visiting relatives, so it happened to be an excellent timing.

In the end, it was Bob that went inside the House with Wilf to first see Donna. They couldn't risk her seeing Rose, and starting to remember before they were ready. Still there was one more step that needed to be taken in order to do this. They needed consent, and Wilf's was enough to get the process started, but not enough to go into Donna's mind. Especially not when Bob realized there were some pretty powerful protections that had been left in place. There was, though, a way around that particular issue.

At the kitchen table, enjoying a cup of tea, Bob carefully, and deftly, managed to slip Donna into a hypnotized state. This would allow him to ask questions, hopefully without triggering memories. Bob was careful not to make any suggestions, only ask questions. "Donna, you are in a safe place here. Your Grandfather is here watching over you. I have some questions I need to ask you. Now this is very important, you need to just answer the questions Donna, don't try to think of anything except the questions I ask, do you understand?"

Bob kept his voice even while talking to Donna, staying calm and collected. As for her part, Donna seemed calm, and accepting. She smiled briefly at the mention of Wilf. "I understand."

"Donna, there are memories of yours that have been hidden for your own protection. It was done to save your life. Now we can try to get those memories back for you, but there is a risk."

Her response was almost immediate. "I want to remember."

He didn't start with surprise, but his eyebrows rose, and then furrowed. "Why do you want to remember?"

"I want to be important again." Her reply was firm, insistent even.

Giving her a slightly troubled look, Bob continued with his questions. "Donna you know there are people that you are important to still. You don't need to remember in order to be important."

This time her tone was a bit impatient. "I said, I want to remember, there is something I should be doing and I'm not." Donna's forehead wrinkled slightly on her last words.

"Alright Donna, two more things I need you to know. I need your permission for my friend and me to go into your mind to fix it. You should also know there is a risk to this, it could hurt you very badly."

This time she almost huffed at him. "Oi, I told you already, I want them back. Now get on with it already, do whatever you need to."

Lifting his eyebrows, Bob looked over to a chuckling Wilf. "That's my Donna, she's got spirit. I'll go get Rose now so you can get started."

Excitedly he got up to fetch Rose, missing the small wince from Bob at the mention of her name. Everything that might trigger a memory would put Donna at risk until they were done. Still it seemed to have done no harm. Giving a small head-shake, he reached to take one of Donna's hands in his own. This time, he simply gave a little mental nudge, not needing to bother with hypnosis. It sent Donna into a deeper meditative state. This would be easier for them to work with.

The sound of the door closing, and footsteps coming closer caught his attention. Rose slid into a seat next to him an excited smile on her face. "So, what do we do?"

Bob reached with his free hand to take Rose's. "Put your other hand on her temple, yours is the more dangerous part of this actually so be careful and go slow. Together we'll find the locked up bit, and it will be your job to draw out the parts that shouldn't be there. I'll monitor you both, and unlock her memories when it is safe to."

He didn't bother to ask Rose if she was ready, or if she was sure she wanted to do this. The answer was evident in the excited buzz of her emotions and unspoken words. Holding hands like this meant the surface of it all flowed over him. So he gave her a nod towards Donna. Rose reached to make the final connection, lightly grazing the other woman's temples with her fingertips.

It was very different this time, instead of being placed within setting, it felt like diving into a web of energy. Despite being in a meditative state, Donna's mind shone brightly with an intricate lattice of connections. ~Oh, it is so beautiful. ~

Bob's "voice" flowed back to her, carrying approval. ~And very delicate. There are many ways to view the mind Rose; it all depends on what you need. ~

She recognized the dark green of his energy, helping guide her. It had been an interesting surprise when she had realized that mental presences could have a corresponding color. If she looked for them, it helped her recognize who had potential or training. Jack, she had noted to her amusement, was a warm red. Bob's was a deep green, while hers a bright gold laced with pinks. Rose wasn't sure if there was significance to the colors, but now was not the time to ask.

Instead she shifted her focus to the web of energy in Donna's mind. It had the clean white light of a non-telepath, and it was hard not to just stop and admire. However they were there for a purpose. Carefully she searched along the lattice, as she knew Bob was doing the same. At the same time almost they noticed it, an area that was darkened and encased behind a deep blue barrier.

This was going to be the tricky part. They had permission to be there, but the barrier was placed by an outside force. The energy of it was deep, and there were flecks and swirls of gold laced through it. As Rose drew close, it brightened slightly, and then relaxed; it almost seemed as if it recognized her. However when Bob approached it toughened, and it wasn't until Rose "pulled" Bob's presence along that it relaxed. She could feel Bob's intense curiosity about that, but they both left if for later.

Working in tandem, they reached for the messy knot of energy sparking in front of them. Instead of the open airy lattice, this was a confused knot, hopelessly tangled with a vine of bright blue fire. Bob's green reached to help the lattice, while Rose's gold reached towards the blue fire. Instinctively she sang to it, a golden melody that wove around the blue fire, creating a path for it to flow down.  
>There was nothing that could have really prepared her for the moment her song wove with the blue fire. It was knowledge and strength. It was both fire and ice, it was both terrifying and oddly comforting. Somehow, it also seemed to like her. Almost instantly it flowed along her touch, uncovering the lattice it was knotted around bit by bit. It was slow at first, and then almost eagerly it came to her. The fact that Bob was handling the memory part of Donna's mind was a good thing, because it was that entire Rose could do to handle the influx of energy. The blue fire apparently found her much more to its liking, because in a very short time, Donna's memories were completely free of it. It was tangled up in her own energy.<p>

Rose felt Bob's assurance that he had Donna's memory in hand, and his urge for her to withdraw so she could deal with the blue fire. Very carefully she started to pull back to herself, still weaving the song. Her hand dropped from Donna's temples, and her hand pulled from Bob as she turned her focus totally inward.

It was strong, and she struggled to keep it from overwhelming her. Dimly she noted another voice singing in the back of her mind. She recognized the song of the Tardis, and sent a wordless pulse of thanks. Together the two worked to gently pull the blue fire into the place waiting for it. It resisted, not wanting to be tucked away. Instead, it wanted to spread through and settle along the golden network of her mind. But it could not resist the two songs working together, and eventually most of it was tucked away. A few tendrils were extended, lightly twining with a part of her lattice. Carefully she examined them, and noted they would not harm her, so she left them.

While she was busily working in her own mind, she noted the distant voices which meant that Bob had finished, and Donna was waking up. Her lips curved slightly at Donna's exclamation that the skinny spaceman should just wait until she got her hands on him for doing that to her. The not so muted voice of Donna then expressed surprise Rose was there, and concern. As she settled the last strands of blue fire, she managed to mutter, albeit somewhat fuzzily. "M'fine, just need a nap I think."

Rose would have been more concerned about what was happening with her, if not for an unexpected side effect. The blue fire had brightened the energy of her mind, and the woven link between her and the Tardis momentarily hummed with its strength. There was another link there though, and it was also affected. A thin gold cord was lightly entwined with her, and for a moment, it too blazed bright. Its light faded some, but not down to the just warm light from before.

Idly she noted there was a feeling of shock and recognition coming from the other end of it. Unfortunately that was being rapidly overwhelmed by her need to rest, now. The last thing she heard reverberating down the link was a familiar voice, going a bit high pitched and squeaky. ~What? What!?~


	11. Chapter 11 - Revelations

**The Doctor visits the Ood, and gets a few surprises**

**This is the start of an AU retelling of End of Time. Big chunks of dialog were taken straight from the episode for this chapter. The story is going to be slightly different though, to take into account the current plot.**

**Thank you very much for all the reviews and support, I cannot tell you how much that means to me. **

**PS Please don't kill me, more is coming.**

The Doctor danced around the console, well more like a mad dash as he manipulated the controls. His movements were manic, and upbeat, bouncing on the balls of his feet. A leftover lei was draped around his neck and its cheerful colors brightened his outfit. He seemed carefree, and merely caught in t he moment.

Underneath it all though, his thoughts rolled. The past three weeks has been nothing but light adventures. He had been in relaxing climates, easy triumphs, just enough of a challenge to make it worthwhile without being too taxing. In other words the universe had been kind to him, and he distrusted that.

It didn't help that he could feel something looming on the horizon. It was large, massive really, and it frightened him to face it. Not so much for the event itself, but because he had been visited by the Ood. The last time he had talked with the Ood, they had warned him his song was ending. Seeing one, especially after what had happened with Mars, rattled him deeply.

Run, run, run, his instincts urged him. Run so fast, so hard, so that nothing can catch up to you. Run away from the pain, from the soul crushing guilt or terror. Run until you find something to distract you. Something that can keep the cold and the dark at bay, something that can remind you that you are alive and there are good things to enjoy. When it ends, and it always ends, run again. Everything is temporary, there are no constants, and nothing good stays. That was how he had been living his life, and it was the only truth left for him.

The Time Lord in him knew that you couldn't run forever. There were some things that were inevitable, that you had to face. There were things that had to happened, because they had already happened, and were woven into the fabric of the universe. But he liked this body, this self, and wasn't ready to give it up yet. So he had done his best to try to delay the inevitable.

Today, however, it appeared his road had run out, for he had landed on the home of the Ood. For a moment, he stood frozen looking at the image of Ood Sigma waiting for him out in the snow. Then he pulled on the armor of light hearted frivolity, yet it didn't seem like quite enough. So before he exited, he snagged a straw cowboy hat and sunglasses to complete the casual air. "Ah, now, sorry, there you are. So, where were we? I was summoned wasn't I, an Ood in the snow, calling to me. Well I didn't exactly come straight here, had a bit of fun you know, traveled about, did this and that. Got into trouble you know, it was brilliant."

The Ood waiting for him was stoic, this race's features difficult for him to read expression at best. However he got the faint sense of a disapproving air as he continued his babble.

"I saw the phosphorous carousel of the Great Megella Micshtat. Saved a planet from the red carnivorous moor; named a galaxy Allison; got married — that was a mistake. Good Queen Bess, let me tell you, her nickname is no longer ….. anyway. What do you want?"

He had woven a mixture of truth and lies, anything to bolster the air of frivolity. It continued to be both armor and weapon against what he feared was coming.

Passively the Ood regarded him, the voice ball in his hand lighting up as he spoke. "You should not have delayed."

The Doctor gave a small nod, somewhat denying it. "Last time I was here you told me my song would be ending soon. And I am in no hurry for that."

His words didn't seem to have any impact on the Ood; it was calm in its reply. "You will come with me."

He dug for the Tardis keys out of his pocket. "Hold on, better lock up the Tardis." Pressing the small buttons on the keypad, the Tardis made a chirping sound as the light on the top of the box and through the windows flashed. With a goofy grin he looked towards Ood Sigma. "See, like a car."

His expression fell somewhat at the lack of response and he waved the key in the air. "I locked it like a car." The Ood did not seem to be impressed, but he tried. "That's … funny…. No….? A little bit?" His voice started to go a bit feebler as he talked. "Blimey, try to make an Ood laugh."

The Doctor followed the Ood towards the city. "So how old are you now Ood Sigma?" there was no response, as they came into sight of the city. It spiraled out of the ground and up, stone arch and towers capped with snow. There was a fluid feel to the architecture, as if it had been sculpted rather then built. He could see Ood moving around the city, and across the slightly arched and slanted stone bridges.

"Ah….. magnificent."

With a goofy grin he looked at the city and back at ood Sigma. The doctor seemed a bit put out at the lack of response. With the same light-hearted air he leaned over to gently nudge the Ood with his arm. "Oh come on, that is, splendid. You achieved all this in how long?"

Ood Sigma turned slightly towards him, the speech ball lighting up as he answered. "One hundred years."

A disquieting wave washed over the Time Lord as he processed that statement. "Then we've got a problem, because all this is way too fast. Not just the city, I mean your ability to call me. Reaching all the way back into the 21st century, something is accelerating your species way beyond normal."

He had pulled off the hat, and a few flakes of snow settled in his hair as the Ood responded to him. "And the mind of the Ood is troubled."

All traces of frivolity were gone from the Time Lord's tone. "Why, what's happened?"

The tone on the vocal ball Ood Sigma wasn't designed for inflection changes; however there seemed to be a drift of concern in his words. "Every night Doctor, every night we have bad dreams.

Ood Sigma led him through the city, to the caverns the elders were gathered in. He heard them before he saw them; the eldest' voice echoing both mentally and somehow verbally as well. "Returning, returning, it is slowly returning. Through the dark and the fire, and the blood, always returning, returning to this world. It is returning, and he is returning and they are returning, but too late, too late, almost far too late."

The elders of the Ood were gathered in a circle with one space left open for him. Candles were lit, encircling the area, and incense wafted up from the burner set over the center fire. The eldest was wafting the incense smoke towards himself.

What was interesting is the top of his head was more defined and divided, looking like the outside of a brain. The Doctor speculated to himself that this might be how the Ood brain developed. Wise Elders that eventually just became one of the giant brains that were the controlling brain of the Ood.

As he gathered closed, one of the elders turned in the Doctor's direction. "He has come."

Ood Sigma guided the Doctor in. "Sit with the elder of the Ood, and share the dreaming."

The Doctor slowly took his place, looking just a touch awkward about it. He raised his eyebrows as he sat and gave his simple greeting.

" 'Ello."

He looked around at their rather impassive faces, and their voices echoed to him. "You will join, you will join, you will join …."

They repeated that over and over as they reached for each other's hands. Cautiously the Doctor allowed the Ood to either side of him to take his hands. His body shuddered as he was immediately hit with an image. It was an image of the Master, dark hair now looking bleached blond. His head was thrown back in laughter, and that laughter had an echo of madness to it. Quickly the Doctor yanked his hands away, eyes wide and expression troubled

They regarded him as the eldest spoke. "He comes to us, every night. I think all the peoples of the universe will dream of him soon."

His insides were like ice, tension wracking his body and face. "That man is dead."

The eldest wasn't done yet. "There is yet more."

He reached again for the hands of his fellow elders. "Join us, events are taking shape, so many years ago, and yet changing the now."

Taking a deep breath, the Doctor steeled himself as he took the hands of the elders to either side of him. "There is a man, so scared, and joyous all at once."

The image of Wilfred Mott swam into his mind. He was sitting at a table, looking far too worried. Anxiety bloomed within the Doctor. "Wilfred, is he alright? What about Donna, is she safe?"

What the Doctor heard next, hit him with the force of a sledgehammer. "The Lost has been found by the Wolf. She has taken the fire within and tamed it."

The image bloomed in his mind. Rose, his impossible Rose, had her fingertips at Donna's temple. The image shifted to the two women huddled together over a computer terminal.

His utter shock seemed to silence everything; it was like this one moment was suspended in time. He could see her face, and it turned to look at him, a golden light kindling in the depths of her eyes. The golden light struck right through him, right to the back of his mind where a song surged and wove around a golden cord. The cord was a link, from him, leading back to Rose. It surged brightly in that moment, power coming from her or him; he was too shocked to be able to tell. What was clear was she was here, in this universe, and with Donna. "What? What!?" The Doctor's voice went high and squeaky, breaking the moment so it all came back in a rush.

The golden cord dimmed slightly, but it was still there at the back of his mind. His connection to Rose, oh he had it before, but it was a pale imitation to what was present now. It had simply been a faint line before, which helped him find her when she wandered off (or he did.) It also would let him know if she was experiencing distress. This, however, was a tentative link between two telepaths, and had the potential for oh so much more.

The Ood elder continued speaking the Doctor's shock apparently not affecting him. "You should not have delayed, for the lines of convergence are being drawn across the earth, even now the King is in his counting house." Images started being projected to the Doctor. First there was an image of two dark skinned well dressed individuals into his mind. They looked rather smug and to be in posh surroundings. "If he should capture the Wolf and her Guardian, the darkness will rise even stronger."

He didn't recognize the first two, but the thought that they may be after Rose made his stomach twist. It didn't help when her image flashed again as the Wolf, and then he got an image of Jack carrying her unconscious form. "I don't know who they are, why are they after her. Why does she need a guardian, what happened to Rose?" His voice was intense, his rising tension evident in it.

If they noted his agitation, they didn't respond to it, merely keeping the calm explanation of what he was show. "When the Wolf returned to the universe, her song had been shattered by an Echo that was twisted into darkness. The Guardian is shielding her while she heals. There is another, the most lonely of all, lost and forgotten."

His mind reeled as they showed him the image of a wan looking Lucy Saxton sitting in a dimly lit cell, barely holding back tears. Her face was bare of make-up and she was dressed in a simple tank top and some sort of sweatpants. Most of his concentration was scattered as the shock about Rose slowly sunk in. The fact that she might be threatened didn't help. He did manage to identify for her.

"The Master's wife."

Ood Sigma was standing near him, and there was a bit of curiosity that laced his tone as he spoke up. "We see so much, but understand so little, the woman in the cage, who is she?"

Looking around the circle, the Doctor tripped over his words. His mind was churning as he struggled to take in everything they were showing him. "She was …it wa-wasn't her fault, she was ….." He took a deep breath and tried again. "The Master, he's a Time Lord, like me." Looking at them, the Doctor realized he just didn't have the right words to explain it all to them. Instead he reached for the hands of the Oods next to him. "I can show you."

This time the images came from him as he talked. Snapshots from the year that never was, the first image of Harry Saxon embracing Lucy, dipping her backwards in his passionate response to her. "The Master took the name of Saxon, he married a human, a woman called Lucy, and he corrupted her."

More images followed, snap shots of the death and destruction that had rained down at the hands of the Master. Lucy was celebrating, both on her own, and close to his side. "She stood at his side while he conquered the earth. I reversed everything that he had done so it never even happened. But Lucy Saxon, remembered."

Then they were given the image of Lucy shooting the Master, and the Doctor racing to the man as he crumpled to the ground. "I held him in my arms. I burned his body, the Master is dead.' He sent the images of himself lighting the funeral pyre the Master was burned on. His voice was insistent, and tense.

His expression started to slip as the eldest spoke. "And yet, you did not see."

More images were projected to the Doctor. "What's that?"

After he had walked away, something fell in the ashes, a ring with the circular Gallifreyan script embossed on it. A hand with long red nails attached picked up the ring. The older woman cradled it carefully as the Master's laughter echoed. The Doctor's voice was low, both intent and disbelief shading it. "Part of him survived."

Anxiety building he tried to leap to his feet. "I have to go!"

However the Ood to either side of him did not release his hands, instead they pulled him back down with them as the eldest spoke. "But something more is happening Doctor. The Master is part of a greater design, because a shadow is falling over creation. Something vast is stirring in the dark."

The Doctor shot anxious looks around the circle with a sense of great foreboding. Suddenly there was the sound of almost a growl and all the Ood's eyes shone red. The last time that had happened because a greater force was trying to take control of them, an unhappy one. Many people were killed, and he and Donna barely managed to convince the Ood that cornered them at one point that they were friends.

Voices seemed to echo around them as the eldest spoke. "The Ood have gained this power to see through time, because time is bleeding. Shapes of things once lost are moving through the veil, and these events from years ago threaten to destroy this future, and the present, and the past.

The Doctor's expression was fierce, and his voice almost demanding. "What do you mean?"

Yet the eldest voice remains calm. "This is what we have seen Doctor, the darkness heralds only one thing." Now all the elders spoke as one, "The end of time itself."

The Doctor leapt to his feet as one last image of the Master laughing flickered through his mind. This time they did not stop him as he ran. And oh he did run. He ran for fear he would be too late. He ran for fear that something horrible was going to happen to Rose. Finally he ran because it was all he could do with the storm brewing inside him.

Reaching the Tardis he headed straight for the controls. Quickly he moved to start driving it, destination burned into his mind. If Jack was helping Rose, and both were at risk, his first stop needed to be Torchwood Cardiff. Mentally he urged speed on the Tardis, his anxiety reaching frantic levels. Sparks flew as the Tardis responded and pushed it to the limits.

He tried to concentrate strictly on driving, but other thoughts crept up on him. What if his dreams and nightmares about Rose were something more? The though did nothing to warm the chill he felt in his hearts. If they were real, the nightmares, she could hate him, she should hate him, after that. If that were the case, well it didn't matter. He would make sure she was safe, and then do whatever it took to make things right.

Fortunately for his state of mind, the journey didn't take long. The speed caused his landing to be a bit more rough than normal, but with a final jerk, they were there. Dry mouthed he stared at the doors of the Tardis, apprehensive as to what he would find out there.

He stayed frozen for so long, that the Tardis finally shocked him through the console. The Doctor jumped and swore shaking his hand. After glaring at the console, he steeled himself and made his way to the door.


	12. Chapter 12 - Facing the Facts

**Sorry about the uploading glitch, here is the correct Chapter 12**

**A quick bit on Rose's reaction after she woke up, and the Doctor finally arrives in the Hub. **

**A bit of an emotionally intense chapter, the Doctor has a lot to deal with!**

**I promise, next chapter will be up tomorrow**

After having restored Donna's memories, Rose had fallen asleep for almost a full twenty four hours. After the first five hours, apparently someone suspected something was up, because Jack started calling Rose's phone. Most would be reluctant to answer it, but not Donna. She snatched it up, and somehow managed it so Jack was neatly following her orders. He and Martha had arrived as quickly as they could and then Rose was transported back to the Hub. Bob and Donna went with them.

While Rose was still asleep, Donna had started noting some of the organization and the lack thereof in the Hub. By the time Rose woke, Jack was more than ready to offer her a permanent job there. Where there might have been some friction between her and Gwen, Donna just quickly set about mothering everyone in her brisk fashion, and the two women became good friends.

When Rose finally woke, it was with a blue fuzzy lizard that had tucked itself between her side and arm, head resting on her shoulder. The meeping sound the little creature made alerted the rest to the fact Rose was awake. The never found an owner for the small creature, so it ended up with Rose adopting it, or it adopting Rose. It quickly acquired the name Sapphire. Jack had noted how the little creature liked to drape or curl itself around Rose's neck, like she was wearing a sapphire colored necklace.

To say Jack was not happy about the little misadventure was to put it mildly. He almost lost his temper with her, but Rose didn't apologize. In a way that actually ended up making Jack happy seeing how she stood her ground. It was another sign that Rose was healing.

As for Rose, when she woke, there was no damage at all. In fact, her senses seemed to almost have sharpened. Not in the sense that they were more sensitive, but that she could process more information from them. There was an added depth to the world around her. It was overwhelming and beautiful all at once. As if there were far more to the world then she had ever been able to grasp before.

It took some time for her to adjust to that, and she still was. The blue fire in her brain was slowly spreading and merging with her own golden energy. Just a little bit at a time, as if someone was slowly controlling how fast it spread. That thought would bring a smile to her lips, along with the image of her leather clad Doctor still working to protect her.

Then the smile would fade, because then her thoughts would shift to the pinstriped Doctor. He was aware she was here, she knew it. That link that had blazed brightly had settled into a comfortable warm hum in the back of her mind. She had felt his recognition of it, but he hadn't come.

She tried to tell herself that it could mean all sorts of things. That he was just being a lousy driver again (very likely,) it could also mean he was afraid to face her (somewhat likely.) The traitorous part of her mind, the part that was not quite all the way healed, would whisper it was because the other him had been right, he didn't want her. The first time she had that thought sent her into a panic, wondering if the construct in her mind was still lurking. When she realized he wasn't, she had to face another fact head on.

Her spirit had been slowly crushed over a span of twenty years. It was going to take months, if not years, before she fully recovered from that fact. As much progress as she had made in the past two months, some of the damage may be with her forever. It was up to her to learn to live with it. Some of the major hurdles, she had already gotten over, but there was at least one left to face.

As time slipped by, she grew more and more anxious, today in particular was a horrible day. She just couldn't stay still. If she tried, she ended up fidgeting, or unable to sit for long. Finally Donna got fed up. "Oi! Why don't you just go for a walk, or go burn off that energy some way, before you drive the rest of us bonkers."

Bob chimed in from his spot on the couch. "That would be a very short trip for most of us." The telepath had continued to work with Rose, and had managed to make himself useful in other ways to the rest of the crew. He had slowly become part of their odd little family.

Rose rolled her eyes at Donna. "I'm not that bad."

Then Jack called out from the doorway of his office. "Yes you are." He gave his charming grin, but there was concern behind it. "I think Donna is right, go clear your head, just take someone with you."

Placing a fist on her hip she glared up at him. "I do not need a babysitter."

Jack just folded his arms across his chest. "Humor me, I don't need you running off and getting yourself knocked out for another twenty four hours."

With an exaggerated sigh she narrowed her eyes at Jack. "Fine, Ianto, fancy a walk?"

She turned to face the Welshman, who looked started and then gave a small smile. "Certainly Rose." Rose found the man comforting, calming almost, so he was the perfect choice to go with her.

Rose made her way over to Jack first, taking Sapphire from her perch around Rose's neck and draping her around Jack's. "Here, you two can keep each other company." The little lizard had a tendency to hang out with Jack or Gwen when Rose was not in the Hub. So she gave a little meep, but settled down

Jack watched them go, breathing a small sigh. Inwardly he was cursing, not sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing that the Doctor had yet to make an appearance. Rose wasn't fooling him with her anxiety, she had confided in him the fact she was certain that the Doctor was now aware of her presence in the universe. Every day her anxiety built a bit more. He was just about ready to go behind Rose's back and try and call the Doctor, just to put an end to it.

Half an hour later, he was still mulling over this thought when fate, or more likely the Tardis, apparently decided to take the matter in hand. The familiar grinding wheezing noise of the Tardis materializing filled the Hub. Fingers flying over his keyboard he set up a few things on his computer, and hid away a few others. Then he got to his feet, making his way out of his office.

The sound caught everyone's attention; the Tardis was actually materializing inside the hub. Slowly folks stopped what they were doing and gravitated towards the blue box after it appeared. For several long minutes, absolutely nothing happened.

Then, the door to the Tardis opened, and out stepped the Doctor. He was a bit thinner then Jack remembered, which was saying something as he was always thin. His hair was in even more wild disarray, as if he had just gotten done tugging on it. What hit Jack the most when he took a look at him was the haunting pain that seemed to be ingrained in his very being.

Every line of the Doctor's body was tense as he walked out of the Tardis. His gaze whipped back and forth, obviously looking for something. When his eyes landed on Donna, he froze, eyes widening.

She solved his dilemma by moving towards him herself. "Oi, spaceman, who told you that you could run off without me, get into all sorts of trouble that way." Then the two friends were suddenly wrapped up in a hug.

His arms were almost painfully tight around her, but she didn't complain. Instead she let him just hug her. She could hear his strained voice murmur. "You are okay, you are really okay."

Finally his grip loosened and she pulled away to give him a smile. "I'm really okay thanks to some friends."

He started to smile, and that's when she whapped him upside the head. "OW! What was that for?" There was a slight whine in his voice as his feet made him dance to one side.

Hands on hips she regarded him. "Don't you ever do that to me again?" Then her lips twitched back up in a smile. "It's good to see you Doctor."

The Doctor relaxed for a moment, and then suddenly every line of tension in his body was back. His gaze whipped around looking again. "It's true; all if it is true isn't it?"

Wildly he jerked in the direction of Jack when the blue eyed man started talking. "That depends Doc, on what truth you are talking about."

Taking a step towards him, the Doctor relaxed a fraction. "You are here, and safe, good that's good." Jack raised an eyebrow as the Doctor half talked to himself before whirling around again. "Rose is here too isn't she? Where is she, is she safe?" The Doctor's voice started rising again, the amount of agitation surprising everyone.

Jack glanced over at Bob, whom had remained in his seat silently observing everything. His brows were furrowed in concentrating, but he seemed to sense Jack's gaze on him. He looked up to Jack, raising his eyebrows, and then went back to focusing on the Doctor.

Around Jack's neck, Sapphire watched wide eyed. She tightened herself around Jack's neck in a slightly protective gesture. He gave her a soothing pat while choosing his words carefully. "Doc, she's safe, and it is up to her if she sees you. Now calm down, what's wrong?"

Wild eyed the Doctor turned towards him. "But is she safe?! Where is she?"

Frowning Jack studied him. "She just went for a walk."

"No, no, no no no no no! She needs to be inside, safe. There is something out there that might be after her, and you. The Ood, they warned me."

Jack's training kicked into high gear and he reached for the phone even as he questioned the Doctor. "What might be after her, what are the Ood?"

Wide eyed Donna had been watching the Doctor as he started to pace, his hands tugging his hair. "The Ood Doctor, did you go to see them, is that why you are here?"

He stared at her a moment as if just registering that she was there again. "Yes, no, I mean yes I went to see the Ood, and they gave me a warning. They showed me things, things that might happen, and yes, that is one of the reasons I came. But, I can feel her now; I know she's here, somewhere." The last part of that came out slightly breathlessly, wondering.

Snapping his phone shut, Jack turned towards the doctor. "They're safe, already on their way back. Apparently Rose had stopped and already turned around to head back here. She's safe, now calm down Doctor, and tell me what's going on!" His frustration and alarm showed in Jack's tone.

As for the Doctor, he stopped pacing, hands finally dropping from his hair. His voice was slightly strained. "She's safe, good, that's good." Donna stood next to him, placing a hand on his arm.

Jack bit off a sigh as he studied the Doctor. It was quite apparent that he wasn't going to get any useful information out of him yet. He studied the harried looking Time Lord for a moment, his voice level. "Okay Doc, come in my office. Let's have a little talk before Rose gets here."

Hands curling into fists at his side, the Doctor flinched slightly, a mask dropping over his features. When he spoke, his tone was perfectly neutral. "Alright Jack; if that is what you want."

Almost woodenly the Doctor moved towards the office. There was no trace of his normal manic energy, no bounce to his step. Instead he simply made his way there, following Jack and taking a seat once inside. Donna followed him, shooting Jack a glare that dared him to make her leave.

Giving her a level look, Jack just moved around his desk to take a seat. For a moment they all sat in silence, and then Jack broke it. "Alright, I've got a few questions for you, and few things that you need to know. First, exactly how long have you known Rose was back?"

The Doctor picked his hand up and then dropped it in his lap as if not quite sure what he was going to do with it. "Twenty three minutes and forty six seconds."

He gave Jack and Donna a bewildered look as they both just stared at him. " ….. What?"

Jack's voice was very dry when he replied. "You really have to work on your timing Doc, Rose has known you were aware of her for about a week now."

His hands convulsed on the arms of his chair, otherwise the Doctor kept his mask like expression. "A week, she's known for a week? Wait, exactly how long has she been here?"

Jack's tone and expression were completely flat as he watched the Doctor. "She arrived about two months ago."

Fire blazed in the Doctor's eyes as he surged up out of his chair. "Two months, she's been here for two months and you didn't try to contact me?!"

Refusing to be intimidated, Jack's blue eyes were like ice as he regarded the Doctor. "That's right I didn't because it wasn't about you Doctor, it was about what was right for Rose. So sit down. She's been through a hell of a lot and I'm not going to have you upsetting her when she's just finally started to be more stable."

Donna reached over for the Doctor's arm, gently tugging him to sit down. "Listen to him Doctor, I know you are upset, but you need to listen to Jack."

Slowly the Doctor sank into his chair, his eyes still fierce. His voice though was rough. "The Ood said something about her song having been shattered by an Echo that had been twisted into darkness. I've been having these dreams, nightmares really, for weeks now. Dreams about Rose and ….. "

Jack watched as the Doctor lapsed into silence. "That is pretty close to the truth actually. Tell me Doctor, did your nightmares include this?"

Turning his computer monitor around so the Doctor could view it, Jack started playing the surveillance footage that had caught Rose's arrival. The sound and picture was crystal clear, and carried each detail with flawless accuracy.

Jack kept his gaze fastened on the Doctor as it played. Donna hadn't seen this before either, and made a few small sounds of distress as it played out. It was the Doctor's reaction however Jack wanted to see. The color was slowly draining from the Time Lord's face as his eyes stayed locked on the computer monitor. He got so pale that the faint freckles on his face stood out against the paleness of his skin. His hands gripped the armrests of his chair so hard that Jack heard the material creak when the Doctor tightened down on it.

Suddenly Sapphire, who had been a silent observer, scrambled down Jack. She made her way over to the Doctor's feet. Gripping his trousers in a clawed forefoot, her head weaved back and forth studying him. After a moment she made up her mind and scrambled her way up his trousers, and then up his jacket until she reached his shoulder. Tentatively she rubbed her muzzle against his cheek, giving a comforting thrum.

The Doctor closed his eyes, one hand going up to gently stroke the little creature. When he spoke his voice was rough. "You have a Creelmeeple, where ever did you find one? Sensitive little things, compassionate."

Moving the computer monitor back into place Jack glanced over, her voice even. "She's not mine, Rose found her, and she adopted Rose. She just likes to hang out with me when she can't be with Rose. Her name is Sapphire."

Emboldened by his acceptance, Sapphire curled around the Doctor's throat, continuing her comforting thrum. The Doctor almost smiled his voice light. "That's not surprising then."

Finally the Doctor opened his eyes again, looking at Jack. "I'll leave; Rose doesn't need to see me. I'll do what I can from a distance."

Next to him Donna made an exasperated sound. "Oi! You'll do no such thing, you are going to keep your skinny self here."

Jack almost growled. "Haven't you learned anything from this? You don't get to make that decision, Rose does. You don't get to decide for her. This is one of the reasons I didn't call you. If you had shown up here and then ran off because you decided it was better, just what do you think it would have done to Rose? She's already convinced that you never wanted her, just tolerated her."

"What?!"

Startled the Doctor jerked in his seat, Sapphire giving a reproving meep at the sudden movement. "No, no, how could she ever think that. I always wanted Rose, too much sometimes."

Jack just glared at him. "You need to tell her that, you sure as hell have given her plenty of reason to believe you didn't, and your duplicate did his damn best to convince her of that."

Now the Doctor growled faintly, his voice shaking with hostility. "Where is he?"

That, Jack could approve of, he shared the Doctor's same hostile feelings. "Dead in the other universe we think."

"You think?"

"It is not exactly something we can check on. Either way the team has orders if someone wearing your face shows up acting odd to shoot and ask questions later."

The Doctor turned that thought over in his head and then gave a short nod. "Good, protect her first."

Suddenly Sapphire scrambled down off of the Doctor. and ran towards the lift, meeping. A few moments later the familiar sound of the lift descending echoed in the suddenly mostly silent hub. There was just the hum of machinery and the scrabble of Sapphires claws on the floor. The Doctor froze in his seat. The sound of the lift stopped, and a quite murmur as Sapphire was greeted.

The Doctor didn't turn to look, he didn't dare too. He felt frozen in place as footsteps started moving towards the office. His hearts were galloping in his chest. His emotions were a complete wreck, wild joy and fear warring with each other. "S'funny, here I thought I would be the one to have a hard time looking at you."

Ever so slowly he turned around, his gaze seeking out her amber eyes. Rose's eyes always held her emotions in them, so deep and beautiful. He saw her apprehension, and his hearts twisted at the echo of pain. The guarded look made him a bit sad, but then she smiled. It was just a pale shadow of her normal smile, but it was there. "Hello."

His voice was hoarse, but he felt compelled to answer, it was their greeting after all. "Hello."


	13. Chapter 13 - Face to Face

**The Doctor and Rose are finally face to face. Which of course means it is only so long before something happens.**

**I hope you all enjoy. Again so many thank yous for the reviews and support.**

_The Doctor didn't turn to look, he didn't dare too. He felt frozen in place as footsteps started moving towards the office. His hearts were galloping in his chest. His emotions were a complete wreck, wild joy and fear warring with each other. "S'funny, here I thought I would be the one to have a hard time looking at you."_

_Ever so slowly he turned around, his gaze seeking out her amber eyes. Rose's eyes always held her emotions in them, so deep and beautiful. He saw her apprehension, and his hearts twisted at the echo of pain. The guarded look made him a bit sad, but then she smiled. It was just a pale shadow of her normal smile, but it was there. "Hello."_

_His voice was hoarse, but he felt compelled to answer, it was their greeting after all. "Hello."_

For a long moment they simply stared at each other, both at a loss for words. On Rose's part, she was taking in the details, everything from his expression to his body language. There was far more to what she was looking for then physical features. The more she looked, the more she noted what set the two men apart. Sapphire's thrum and her muzzle rubbing on her cheek brought Rose back to herself. "S'different, you're different. Might be easier then I thought."

Taking a deep breath, she smelled popcorn as she realized she had been holding her breath. She pushed that thought aside as she turned her head to see Bob sitting nearby with a bowl of popcorn in his lap. He was munching on it, while making no attempt to hide the fact he had been watching. Furrowing her brows she looked at him. "Bob, what are you doing?"

Three more sets of eyes (well four with Sapphire) turned towards him as he adopted an innocent expression. "What, this is better then watching East Enders." He held the bowl in Rose's direction. "Did you want some?"

Rose stared at him a moment, then her gaze flicked to the three in Jack's office. That was when she burst into laughter. If it had a slightly hysterical edge to it, no one commented. It was the break in tension needed and she finally ended up sitting down gasping for breath. "M'sorry, just your faces….."

Wiping the tears from her face she gave Bob her half smile. "Thanks for that."

He gave her an utterly earnest look. "So you want some popcorn then?" That set off another round of giggles.

In the office the three there had their own varying reactions. Jack, being fairly used to this sort of thing, had just covered his face with the palm of his hand. Once Rose's laughter died down his fingers curled down to hold his chin and hide his smile. The Doctor at first looked totally bewildered, then thoughtful. Now he was looking at Bob like he was some strange new life form. Donna just stared. "You are bonkers."

Bob turned towards her still keeping his innocent expression, but it was going thoughtful. "You know I've never been diagnosed with that before. They did declare me insane on twenty three planets and on one memorable occasion stark raving mad. Let me tell you, you have to be careful doing that in the wintertime, almost got frostbite in unmentionable places." There was something that suspiciously sounded like a suppressed snort of laughter from Jack.

The Doctor continued to shoot looks at Bob as he got up out of his chair. Slowly he moved towards Rose, carefully watching her reactions. He stopped a few feet short of her and crouched down, so that he wasn't looming over her. His manner was hesitant, almost diffident to her. "Rose?" After a moment of trying to search for the right words he gave a small laugh. "You know I don't know what to say."

That got a small smile out of her as her eyebrows rose. "You, not know what to say, the king of gob speechless, now I've seen just about everything."

Giving her a small smile the Doctor's mind inwardly raced. Every word was important now, he knew that. He knew that because the video Jack had shown him, and his nightmares, that were probably her memories that he had been shown. One wrong word could cause her pain in ways he didn't intend. He needed to be careful, and he needed to be honest, to stop lying to himself. The thought scared him to death, but looking at Rose, at his fragile battered Rose, he knew she deserved it. "You've …. always had that power Rose, I just tried to hide it."

Rose went wide eyed with surprise, and her breath caught. He had never talked to her like this. Yet, she could sense him there, stronger now that he was physically close, through the link in the back of his mind. It was a complicated knot of emotion, but he wasn't lying to her.

Watching her, the Doctor was hit with how much he had not as much denied himself, but her. Shame washed over him, and he shifted so one knee was under him and he bowed his head rather then look at her. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry for what's happened to you."

He was startled when he felt her hand warm on his right shoulder. The Doctor could feel the heat of it even through his jacket. Astonished his gaze flicked up to her pale but determined face. She was leaning forward, one hand braced on her seat. "No, you don't get to do that. You don't get to apologize for anything except your own choices and actions."

Sapphire was thrumming to Rose as she swallowed and continued. "I am responsible for my choices and actions, and only he…. Only he is responsible for what he chose to do. You don't get to take responsibility for that Doctor, not if we are going to get through this."

The Doctor's mouth opened and closed a couple of times. Ever so cautiously his hand slid up to cover hers on his shoulder. When she didn't pull away, a trickle of hope threaded through his hearts. He finally managed to swallow and nod.

The question curled in her brain about just how much he might know already. He was in Jack's office when she got there, and she knew how protective her friend had gotten. That could be dealt with later, for now, one step at a time. "I'm not the same girl you rescued from window shop dummies."

For a moment, there was a sort of overlay of memories between them. They both were seeing the other's point of view from that moment in time. It was a bit disorienting, and the Doctor was the first to recover. "I know I don't expect you to be."

Rose shook her head slightly, both clearing it and in response. "Let me finish. I don't know if you know exactly how long it has been for me. S'been about twenty years since that day, where you left ….. well from the day on the beach."

It was interesting, Rose reflected, how much she could feel from the Doctor. Her senses seemed so highly tuned to him that his shifting emotions were easy for her to detect. She caught the flush of guilt that was rising. Even as he started to speak she tightened her hand on his shoulder interrupting him. "No, what did I just say; you don't get to apologize for anything but what you did. This, the fact I didn't age is because of something I did, something I chose for myself, even if I can't remember it fully at the moment. The fact remains I did it Doctor. I chose it."

He made a small noise of protest but settled. Rose knew this wasn't something he was going to let go of easily. She gave a small sigh and chose another route. "The fact is Doctor, I have, I am, and I will be going through some things that only you can help me with. Martha's been great, and Bob's been wonderful help, but they aren't Time Lords, nor do they have access to what you do. I need your help." Here she swallowed hard, her inner tension rising. "But you are going to have to be patient with me. Because it's going to take me time to accept it. If you can't do that, if you can't stick around and wait for me to be ready, then I need to know now. I can't …. I can't get into this and have you walk away because you can't handle it."

There she said it; it was out in the open. Her heart was hammering away in her chest, and objectively she knew that it was doing that was bad, but she just couldn't relax. The thought of labs and tests, the thought that he might leave her behind again, it was just too much.

His voice was rough, his hand tightening on hers. The Doctor could feel her distress, he could actually, intimately feel it. While a part of him was in awe that he could, the greater part wanted, no needed to sooth it. "I won't, not by my choice. Something is coming and I may have to face a part of it on my own, but I won't leave you behind, not like that." He took a deep breath, his voice still rough. "I can't, I just don't think I can walk away from you again, not without breaking." Everything in her body went tight, his words coiling around her.

For a moment, she felt suspended in time, and then several things happened at once. She heard a soft uh-oh coming from Bob's direction and the sound of the popcorn bowl hitting the floor. He was running off in one direction for something she couldn't tell. There was a startled meep from Sapphire, and then she frantically raced down and off in another direction, meeping in distress. There was a sharp pain in the right side of her chest, and she felt the room starting to spin.

Rose slipped her hand out from under his, pressing it to the right side of her chest just under her collar bones as she sagged forward. His hands went up to steady her, and though her ears were buzzing, she could hear a frantic tone in his voice. "Rose? Rose?! What's wrong?"

She shook her head slightly unable to answer as a bit off curse and the sound of feet meant Jack was running to her side. Jack's warmth pressed into her when he scooped her up and carried her over to a close by couch to lay her down. The distressed meeping of Sapphire was coming back, footsteps racing behind her. More footsteps coming from the direction Bob had run in.

Everything was a jumble to Rose, as she heard voices and muttered comments. She felt someone taking her wrist checking her pulse, and recognized Martha's touch. "Rose, Rose can you hear me? I need you to talk to me. What's going on, what do you feel?"

She struggled to breath, panicking when it didn't come easily. Her hands curled into the couch cushions as she took short gasping breaths. A worried meep sounded near her ear. There was a thump of something being set down on the ground nearby. "Come on Rose talk to me, open your eyes and talk to me."

It was only then that she realized that she had closed her eyes, but she couldn't quite find the strength to open them. Everything around her was panic, panic, panic, and she mentally flailed under the onslaught.

Then something soothing flooded from the back of her mind even as the Tardis' song started to sound in her head. Through it, she heard a voice, a voice with a rough Northern burr, talking to her.

~ Rose

~ Rose

~Now listen to me Rose, you need to stop panicking

Her body protested, whatever was happening was upsetting her internal balance and it didn't like it. But the voice was insistent, echoing only in her head.

~Listen to me. I need you to take one deep breath and let it out slowly.

~Do it Rose!

Her back arced up, and she managed to suck in a deep breath. Then Rose concentrated single mindedly on letting it out slowly

~That's right; just keep doing that Rose, it will be okay

As she concentrated on her breathing she felt the cool press of Martha's stethoscope on the left side of her chest. It stayed there a moment, and then slid over to the right side. Now why would she do that? Oh. Oh, well now it made sense. The Northern voice didn't sound again, and for a moment she missed it. However she still had the Tardis' song, and the comforting presence sending waves of soothing calm.

She fought for it, and managed to get her eyes open, looking up at Martha's face as she bent over her listening. Rose managed a rueful twist of her lips. "I guess that qualified as enough stress for a jump start?"

Rose could feel the level of stress drop from around her. Martha's eyebrows went up as she pulled the stethoscope off. "I did warn you, how do you feel?"

At Martha's question, her focus turned inward evaluating herself. Rose's voice sounded slightly detached as she managed to diagnose … herself. "Blood pressure and heartbeats irregular do to sudden inclusion of the secondary heart regulating blood flow. Fatigue levels are high, recommended course of action would be sleep. A sleep period of at least four hours is required, six would be more ideal. This will allow the internal systems to normalize."

Coming out of it Rose blinked up at Martha looking confused. "Did I just …."

A slow smile spread across Martha's face. "I think you did, and you are going to take your own recommendation."

Rose protested and tried to sit up. "But I feel fine now!"

Hands were on her shoulders immediately pressing her down. There was a reproving meep from the warm lump on her shoulder. "Rose, your system has had a shock, you need to sleep it off, and you said it yourself. Now listen to your medic."

The disgruntled patient mumbled something that was vaguely reluctant agreement. Martha just smiled, but then she bit her lip. "Rose, I know you don't like being in there now, but I really think you should be monitored."

A flicker of panic shot through the blonde and she tried to sit up. "No, no labs, not if you want me to rest. I just can't be in there now Martha."

A quiet voice offered a solution. "There is always the Tardis."

When everything first started happening, the Doctor had no idea what he was supposed to do. All he knew was something was going on with Rose and people were rushing in to help her. He could feel her panicking, and it made his own hearts race. He hated feeling helpless, but at the same time, he felt he had no right to push his way in there.

"Well help her already, you know she's panicking, help her."

He looked down to see Bob standing at his elbow. The short man was scowling up at him with an expectant expression. "But what am I supposed to do, she's got everyone there."

Bob leveled him an even look. "Don't kid a kidder. You know and I know what is between the two of you. It's not an invasion, she won't resent you for it, and your means is already there. Now stop trying to be so noble and do something."

At first he just stared at Bob, who stared back as if daring him. Then he took a deep breath. Bob was right there was something that he could do. Praying that Bob was right, he reached for the link between himself and Rose.

Forcing his own anxiety down, he tried to send soothing calm to the woman that he ….. He was sending it to the woman that he loved. He felt the Tardis assisting as well, there was something odd there, but when Rose started calming, it didn't really matter. All that mattered was she was safe.

When Rose rattled off the diagnosis he was understandably astonished and full of questions. Secondary heart, how the hell did she get a secondary heart? His fingers itched, wanting to hold her hand, wanting to run tests and fix whatever was wrong. But he didn't have a right to any of that.

In a flash when Rose protested about the lab, he remembered some of the nightmares. That most likely played into what caused Rose to, well be like this. However the first step would be to have her rest. So he found himself making the offering in a quiet voice.

When they turned to look at him, he fidgeted, tugging on his ear. "The Tardis can help monitor her while she sleeps, even from her bedroom. If, uh, there is a concern about nightmares she can repress those as well."

He watched as Marth flicked a glance over to Jack and then back to him. Behind them he could see Rose's head turned in his direction. Ruffling the hair on the back of his head, he conceded something else. "Rose's room is still there, she can be comfortable."

"You kept my room?"

The quiet question had his hand freezing in his hair a moment before he dropped it. "Yeah, it was yours Rose; nothing was going to make me get rid of it."

Then he had everyone looking at him again and he felt a faint flush spreading across his cheeks. "So, you can sleep there and be monitored, if you want."

Biting her lip Rose's gaze flickered over to Jack and then back to the Doctor. "Yeah, thanks. I missed the Tardis."

"She missed you too."

Jack nodded and then moved to scoop up Rose from the couch. "Alright then, Tardis it is, as long as you aren't going anywhere Doc."

He waved both hands frantically. "No, no, no, just staying put, right here. No moving right now, stationary us, yep."

They started making their way towards the Tardis, it hit the Doctor. Rose's room, they were going to Rose's room. Frantically he made a silent plea to his ship, and she sent back reassurance.

The small group made their way in, staying in the console room as Jack and the Doctor moved to Rose's room. Sapphire of course was enjoying her ride as Rose cuddled her. When the door opened, the Doctor breathed a small sigh of relief. The Tardis had made sure the bed linens were fresh, and the room looked like it had been neatened up. "Looks the same, except neater."

As Jack set her down on the bed, the Doctor smiled at Rose's comment. "Well, couldn't have you coming back to a mess now could I?"

Tapping his fingers together he started backing out of the room as Jack made her comfortable. "I'll um, just be in the console room, just let the Tardis know if you need anything, and she'll help you."

He was almost out the door when her quiet voice stopped him.

"Doctor?"

One hand on the door frame he leaned back in.

"Yeah?"

She gave him a small smile. "Thanks for this, see you when I wake up?"

He gave her a hesitant nod back and a small smile. "Yeah, and you are welcome."

Stuffing his hands in his pockets, the Doctor wandered back slowly to the console room. There was so much to think about, so many things going on, and all at once. He was so deep in thought he jumped when Jack clapped a hand on his shoulder. "Okay she's safe and resting. Now you are going to tell me what the hell had you in a panic about Rose's safety."


	14. Chapter 14 - Plotting

**Making plans in the Tardis, and the Doctor and Bob have a chat. Or more Bob chats at the Doctor. Nothing too dark in the chapter**

**Thanks again for the reviews.**

_Stuffing his hands in his pockets, the Doctor wandered back slowly to the console room. There was so much to think about, so many things going on, and all at once. He was so deep in thought he jumped when Jack clapped a hand on his shoulder. "Okay she's safe and resting. Now you are going to tell me what the hell had you in a panic about Rose's safety."_

~~~

The expression on the Doctor's face went still, and then grim. He was on shaky ground with what to do about Rose, but here, here he could do something. "Nothing good, I was summoned by the Ood. Which was a rather impressive feat in itself; unfortunately that is part of the problem. There is no way they would have been able to do that at their normal rate of development, something was accelerating and ….."

His voice trailed off as they reached the console room. Donna, Martha and Bob were there. His eyes narrowed briefly, dropping to Bob before relaxing. "Gangs all here, welllll gang plus guest, and of course Mr. Mickey isn't here at the moment. But he only had a few trips on the Tardis. So, what do you think of the Tardis Bob, it is Bob right?"

Bob had been looking up at the time rotor while Martha and Donna were chatting. The short man looked over at the Doctor with his cheerful grin. "Now this is one sexy ship, she's beautiful."

The Doctor gave him a level look. "Don't flirt with my Tardis, and that goes double for you Jack!"

With a small bounce to his step the Doctor made his way over to the monitors, manipulating some of the controls. "Now then, we have a few small troubles to sort out. First, Donna, call Wilf and check on him please."

The ginger stopped short, turning towards the Doctor, slightly wide eyed. "Why, what's wrong is something wrong with my Grandfather? If anything is threatening him they'll be sorry."

At her threatening tone the Doctor gave a quick negative shake of the head. "I don't think anything is wrong with him per say, but, somehow he's involved with what might be coming. There is no logical reason for any of it, but, just call." Giving a short nod, Donna walked to the side while reaching for her phone.

Turning, the Doctor reached and picked up a pad of paper and pencil that had materialized, quickly starting to sketch. As he did so he shot a look over to Jack. "Have you been keeping tabs on Lucy Saxon?"

Jack's eyes narrowed at the Doctor's question. "Not specifically no. Why, what does she have to do with this?"

He ignored the question for a moment, continuing to draw quickly as Martha drifted nearer. Her face mirrored Jack's concern at the Doctor's question. "We'll need any information you can get, and any information about any kind of resurrection focus on Harold Saxon." Ignore the blanched reactions from those two; he thrust the sketch in Jack's direction. "This man and woman as well, I don't know who they are, but somehow they are linked too."

Folding her arms Martha stared at him. "Doctor, what's going on, why do you need to know all this?"

His expression dark, he looked between the pair. "Because I made a mistake, I missed something. Because of that, the Master may be returning, and that doesn't just threaten this planet. Somehow, it is a threat to time itself."

-Rose-

In her room, Rose was still, deep in slumber. Sapphire was curled up on her pillow, resting her head on Rose's shoulder. While her body was adjusting, her mind was actually very, very, busy. Rose wasn't just sleeping, she was dreaming.

Warm golden light enveloped her, and singing wound around her. It was a song that she had heard, is hearing, will hear, from now until the end. It wove its way into her very being until she became a part of the fabric of time itself. Everything was laid out before her, every timeline, and every possibility.

She could see everything, touch anything she wanted. She stretched out her hand to touch, only to be interrupted by a voice in a Northern burr. "That's enough Bad Wolf, let Rose go. Even in dreams this is too much for her."

The golden form turned to see the leather jacket clad Doctor watching her. The Tardis was at her back, and a mess of cables and machinery at his feet. Scattered around were piles of dust that were all that remained of the Dalek fleet. "But I must understand, this is important for what is to come."

He shook his head, crossing his arms across his chest. "No, what is important that she survives. If she doesn't survive then she can't fulfill her own promise. Now let, her, go."

With an impassive regard she studied him. "All things have their time Time Lord, including you."

With that, the energy just flowed away, leaving Rose, yet never entirely leaving her. She had been baptized into the heart of Time itself. That marked her, shaped her, even through her own choice, to her own destiny. There was a price to pay for such things. Some would say she had already paid it, but only time would tell. When she sagged, unsteady, he moved forward to catch her. He helped her until she was steady on her own two feet again.

"Jeopardy friendly, you, even in your dreams. "

Rose's face lit up with a smile, the tip of her tongue sticking out from between her teeth. "What no kiss this time?" He made a sound suspiciously like a chuckle. "Remember that now, do you?"

With an exaggerated huff, she mock pouted. "I'll take that as a no then. Hang on, if this is my dream why not?"

He shrugged, reaching out to offer her his hand. "Your dreams, you tell me. Though, technically this is not precisely a dream, because you aren't precisely sleeping."

She automatically took it, the fit the same as it always was, perfect. "Then what am I doing if I'm not sleeping?"

Casually he led her towards the Tardis, pulling her inside. "Little trick Time Lords do called a healing coma. Now you aren't really a Time Lord, but like I said, you aren't human either. So it is a variation of it. Your body is shut down so it can concentrate on fixing what needs to be fixed."

Brows furrowed she thought it about it while he dropped her hand and started moving to get under the Tardis Console. "Is this half dreaming part of that?"

He gave a small grunt as he moved into place, starting to tinker as they talked. She hopped up in the jump seat to watch him. "In your case, yes, mostly because of the mental conversion that's been going on. Mind you, one that I wasn't the one to suggest. You are giving plenty of work here. D'you mind trying to hold off on anything new until this lot gets sorted?"

Rose had to grin as the last part came out sarcastic. "Well it's not like I planned all of it."

"Actually, you did, sort of. Bad Wolf, remember, when you were her, you chose this. There is just one thing you have to remember Rose Tyler."

Curious she shifted to try and duck down and look at him better. The jump seat wasn't conductive for that so she switched to the floor. "What do I need to remember?"

Pausing, he moved enough to look at her face. "It's not always about choices, though you are getting that part down just fine. Sometimes, it's also about impact. That means thinking things through."

Lightly she nudged his leg, her grin flashed again as she teased him lightly. "Like you are so prone to do?"

With an eye roll he went back to his repair work. "One, this me isn't all him, two, I do actually try to think things out. You can't always in the heat of the moment. That's when you need to talk it out after."

"Are you trying to give me therapy?"

"Tardis, subconscious, I think you can figure out the answer to that."

Thoughtful she sat back, eying him. "You know this really odd coming from you. You weren't exactly the talk things out kind of person, too domestic of you."

Her words didn't seem to affect him, he kept right on working. "This is the face you need to see right now. When you don't need to see me anymore, you'll see someone else."

She grabbed his leg. "But I don't want to lose this you."

Pulling himself out from under the console he wrapped an arm around her. "Rose Tyler, I told you, I will always be here for you. Just because you see something different, doesn't mean this person isn't here. There will always be a part of me in your mind and in your hearts. As long as you remember me, I'll be there, and yes, a part of this me."

Rose leaned into him, taking the offered comfort. Then she pulled back a bit. "Hang on; I thought you said before I got a choice between one heart and two. I didn't exactly choose to jump start the second heart."

He gave her his patented you just dribbled on your shirt look. "But you did choose to download a Time Lord's brain into yours, what did you think was going to happen? Your body has to be able to handle that as well as your brain."

An abashed look crossed over her face. "Oh, yeah, I see what you mean."

Getting up, he tugged her to her feet. "Every choice has a consequence Rose, you know that. An' now you get another one, lessons on fixing things around here. Because this, this is your new mental interface."

Her eyes lit up, her smile beaming bright. "Really, this is what I will use?"

With a fond smile he watched her turn in a circle. "Yeah, this is home to you, this is where things happen. When you visualize, and need to check on things inside yourself, this is what you will see. So, ready for some lessons?"

She grinned, and followed along as he patiently instructed her.

- Back in the console room-

Jack and Martha blanched at his words, and the Doctor really couldn't blame them for that. Their experiences with the Master were hellish at best. Jack swore, taking the sketch and looking it over. "He looks familiar, but I can't place either one of them at the moment. I'll have it scanned into the computers and use the facial recognition program to do a search."

Bob was watching the interaction with avid interest. "His name is the Master, really? And people think I have issues."

Martha looked over at him, still slightly pale under her dark skin tone. "Compared to him, you are completely stable and predictable. He's completely mad, and when I say mad I mean psychotic."

With a nod Bob looked thoughtful. "Right, so keep him away from all sharp and pointy objects, got it."

Mostly ignoring the byplay the Doctor looked over to Jack. "Here's the important part Jack, you have to be careful. They can't get their hands on you, or Rose. You can't tip anyone off it's you looking. Think about it, you have unlimited life force and they are trying for a resurrection. I'm not exactly sure where Rose fits in, but, the warning was about the both of you."

Donna came back, snapping her phone shut. "Granddad is fine; he said he'll keep an eye out. The only thing unusual he's noted is he's been having bad dreams, something about a madman laughing."

Raking a hand back through his hair the Doctor moved over to the Tardis controls. "So the bad dreams have started here, this is bad. It means our time is growing limited."

Waving the sketch Jack gave a nod. "I'll get started on this then."

Frowning Donna moved forward to snatch the sketch. "Oi, wait a minute, I recognize this bloke."

Jack handed over the sketch as everyone's gaze snapped to Donna. The Doctor's voice was urgent. "Where Donna, it's important, who is he?"

Studying it for a moment she gave a nod before flipping it around so they could see it again. "Yeah, he's one of the people Rose's search program tagged. She was showing it to me, wanted to get more solid information before bringing it to you Jack."

Eyebrows lifted, Jack looked at the sketch and then to the Doctor. "I had her working on tracking down stolen tech from Canary Wharf. She said she found it therapeutic, she's gotten very good with computers among other things."

A smile started to break out across the Doctor's face. "Really, well I always knew how brilliant she was, dead clever." His voice grew soft and reminiscent as his eyes flicked to the sketch. "She's always asking the right questions."

Looking back at their faces, he noted the slightly amused looks, and he cleared his throat. "Right, well, Donna can you bring up that information? We need to find out as much as we can as quickly as we can. Jack, you are on Lucy Saxon? Wait that came out wrong, I mean try and dig up the information."

With a small smirk Jack gave a nod. "I'll get Mickey on it, next to Rose he's the best on computers we have. I'll do a search of my own as well. We'll need every scrap of information we can get."

Martha headed towards the door of the Tardis as well. "I'll check the files in my lab; see if there is anything about resurrection cults in there." She scooped up her medical bag. "If Rose wakes up and needs me, just let me know."

The Doctor nodded once, staying at the Tardis controls. "I'll do a scan from in here as well. May help you track things down Jack." His gaze flicked to the group leaving and then to the shorter man. "Bob, hang back a moment, I'd like to have a word with you."

Bob stayed behind as the others left, Jack shooting a glance back over his shoulder and leaving the door to the Tardis open. For his part, Bob seemed perfectly calm, almost if he was expecting this request. At first the Doctor just moved between the controls, keeping his gaze fixed on them. He let the silence draw between them. If he was trying to draw Bob out into saying something, it didn't work. Instead he was the one to break the silence. "Thank you, for looking out for Rose."

Settling himself against one of the struts, Bob leaned back, folding his hands across his stomach. "You are welcome, though in honesty I enjoyed the opportunity to help."

His gaze flicked to Bob, and then continued to focus on the monitors as he worked. "There shouldn't have been an opportunity that needed your help. I should have … "

The Doctor's voice trailed off and he cleared his throat. His discomfort showed in his posture. Bob studied him for a moment, before speaking in an even voice. "You know, she did a great deal of the work herself. I just supported from the outside. I didn't go inside her mind, wasn't my place to."

Eyes slid over to Bob, and then back to the machinery. "You know, it is all too easy to over think things. The more brilliant someone is convinced they are, the more sense of responsibility they take on, the more they forget they don't always know what is best." Bob's voice remained light, a hint of gravel in his voice giving a gritty undertone to the words. "Then when something does go wrong, they tend to take it all upon themselves, even the parts that weren't under their control."

A short humorless back of laughter escaped the Time Lord. "Trying to psychoanalyze me? Don't bother; I'm well aware of my failings."

"Oh of course you do, you are rather brilliant after all, one of the things Rose admires about you." Bob kept a patient gaze on the Time Lord, who kept his fastened on the monitors. "But of course, you wanting me to stay back here was about Rose. You want to know what I know, but you can't ask and I can't tell you. Some of it, I'm sure you have figured out yourself. Like it would be a really bad idea for you to yell at her, or try to touch her before she's ready. Some of it you suspect, and want me to confirm in some fashion. But here's the kicker, you have to be honest not just with her, but with yourself."

It was utterly silent in the Tardis, the Doctor had frozen in place. His hands were a white knuckled grip on the edge of the Tardis console. "What she needs most is honesty, reinforcement, and to be treated as an equal. She is so much stronger then most anyone thinks, capable of incredible compassion. And you know all that."

"I'm not saying you have to let all your walls down at once, and I'm not suggesting you have to pour your heart out to me. But for your own sake, as much as hers, I suggest really letting her in. Let her talk to you, and you let yourself talk to her."

Bob suddenly pushed himself off the strut, eyes widening. "Uh-oh, I forgot my popcorn!" He dashed out of the Tardis, leaving the Doctor alone with his thoughts."


	15. Chapter 15 - Moving Along

**Some Plot building**

**Note, dialog in Wilf's scene mostly lifted straight from the episode. Some artistic license worked in for the plot.**

**Thank you again for all your words of support!**

_"I'm not saying you have to let all your walls down at once, and I'm not suggesting you have to pour your heart out to me. But for your own sake, as much as hers, I suggest really letting her in. Let her talk to you, and you let yourself talk to her." _

_Bob suddenly pushed himself off the strut, eyes widening. "Uh-oh, I forgot my popcorn!" He dashed out of the Tardis, leaving the Doctor alone with his thoughts."_

~~~~

About two hours later, Donna found the Doctor sitting in the jump seat staring at the monitors. It was a look she wasn't completely unfamiliar with. One that said I'm pretending to stare at these things while I'm really brooding over something. As he hadn't seemed to notice her yet, she took a moment to study him. There were a couple of different things she could do to break him out of it. She could simply ignore the fact he was brooding, and get on with what brought her here. She could give him a bit of tough love, and bully him out of it.

However, the Doctor had a lot of shocks rapidly piled on top of him. To a certain extent, the fact he was brooding wasn't entirely bad. However, he needed to not dwell on the negative. He was all too prone towards darkness of the spirit. So, she was going with option three.

With light steps she walked up the ramp over to his side. Standing next to him, she smiled a bit, and leaned into him, elbowing him just a touch. "I missed you, you know. Even when I didn't know it was you I was missing, I still missed you."

Blinking when he was nudged, he turned his head to face her. He managed to crack a smile and then enveloped her in a hug. "I missed you too." Arms still wrapped around her there was a faint tremor to his tone. "You were right. I need someone with me to stop me sometimes."

Clearing his throat he pulled back from the hug, as Donna looked up to him with concern. "What happened?"

He took a moment to gather himself together, and gave a little shake of his head. "I did some things I shouldn't. Let what I am go to my head, I caused a brave and wonderful woman to do something drastic to fix it." He wiped a hand down his face, as if scrubbing something off. "You know I'm not entirely ready to talk about it. I think I only want to go through it once, so when I'm ready I'll tell you and Rose about it."

A hint of a smile twitched her lips as she steadily regarded him. "That might take a while, so you are expecting me to hang around and babysit you and Rose?"

Blinking he regarded her with a wide eyed look. "I mean, of course, only if you want. Your rooms still here, I kept everything the same in it. But you don't have to come; I don't mean to make it look like I am assuming anything."

She couldn't help it, her lips twitched into a small smile and she lightly smacked him on the arm. "Of course I'm coming. I'm just teasing you, you prawn. Someone needs to make sure you and Rose don't end up mad or worse. Besides, Rose is a sweet person, and I think she needs people around her for a bit."

The Doctor gave her a relieved smile. "Thank you. You are my best mate Donna, I'm so glad I got you back."

Donna smiled brightly giving him another quick hug. "Well you can thank Bob and Rose for that. Between the two of them, they fixed me up just fine. I got my memories back, but Rose drew off the dangerous part, said she was able to handle it where I couldn't. I still say you owe me for suppressing my memories in the first place."

Putting her hands on her hips, Donna gave him a mock glare. "So when you and Rose get past all this and patch things up, I would appreciate it if you don't go shagging on every available surface." To her delight he started flushing. "And if a room doesn't have a door that you can lock, don't go shagging in it either! I don't want to walk in on seeing that naked." She waved a hand up down his body.

His eyes were wide as saucers and he was sputtering. "Donna, but we don't, we haven't ….

Giving him an eye roll she shook her head. "Of course you aren't going to be doing that right away, I figure that out Dumbo. She needs time to get past everything that's happened to her. I mean after you two have worked it all out."

Feebly he sputtered again. "But we are not ….."

This time she gave him a hard look. "Oi, who saw you mooning after her, and how lost you were without her. You were, Doctor, even if you didn't say it out loud, or do anything about it then, which I don't entirely believe that to be true. When you two get things sorted you better make sure you do all those things for her." Donna's expression softened then. "Do it for the both of you, because you both deserve some happiness."

A slow smile spread on his face, and his shoulders relaxed as he laughed softly. "You know, I can be really thick sometimes. No wonder I need you around. Every time we have been separated, she always comes back. Maybe some times take longer than others, but she does."

"Finally, now if you try to change your mind, I'll just be here to get it through your thick skull again." She gave him a look that was half exasperated, half affectionate.

The Tardis hummed her agreement, and the Doctor shot a glance upwards. "Oh I suppose you agree with her too?" He got back another hum, a somewhat smug one this time. "Blimey, I'm going to be surrounded by females trying to manage me."

"You say that, like it's a bad thing Doc."

Jack had just come through the door of the Tardis and the Doctor huffed at him. "Don't call me that, how many times do I have to tell you."

Inwardly, Jack was actually pleased the Doctor finally issued the complaint. It meant that he was starting to bounce back. So he just grinned at the annoyed huff.

"Sure thing….. Doc."

Ignoring the glare, and Donna's snort of laughter, he looked back into the hub and then to the Doctor again. "We've got some information, I figured you would perhaps want to call everyone in here rather than leave the Tardis at the moment?"

The Doctor's gaze sharpened, as he gave a grateful nod at Jack's words. "Yes please, at least until she's woken up."

Jack gave a nod and came further into the Tardis he was followed by the rest of the staff. Martha and Mickey seemed to be discussing something together, and the Doctor couldn't help to note how close they were to each other. Bob wandered in with an expression of glee, while Gwen and Ianto had a very wide eyed look. The latter two gaped, Ianto finally managing. "It's bigger on the inside?"

The Doctor beamed a smile. "That it is, and you are Ianto right?" Tearing his gaze away from a study of his surroundings the Welshman gave a small nod. "Yes Sir. "

Jack chuckled and clapped Ianto on the back. "Don't worry you get used to the impossible happening around the Doctor." Gwen just gave Jack a disbelieving look.

Bob sauntered towards the center console beaming a smile at it. "Hello again gorgeous and your pilot's not half bad looking. But you, my beauty, are the incredible one."

That earned him a glare from the Doctor. "I already told you, no flirting with my Tardis."

Unrepentant, Bob just kept grinning. "But she likes it, and I make it a practice not to disappoint a beautiful woman."

The Doctor barely refrained from rolling his eyes, instead he commented with a mutter. "Blimey, just like Jack, now there are two of them."

Shaking his head Jack just smiled. "Bob is in a category all his own, we have stopped trying to fit him into one a long time ago."

"Anyways," the Doctor cleared his throat loudly. "What did you folks find out?"

Donna was the first to speak up as they gathered around the console. "The man in the sketch is Joshua Naismith. He's billionaire, has his own private army, and a very posh set of estates. He has a daughter, and most reports say he spoils her rotten. One of the reasons Rose's program highlighted him is the rumors of his interest in unusual tech. He tried to get his hands on everything, including the Lazarus project. The man's a rich nutter, seems to have an interest in anything with extending your lifespan. To think I was going to give my Granddad his book for Christmas."

The Doctor wrinkled his nose slightly. "Well that's never a good sign, rich and obsession. Where did you say he lived again? When Donna gave him the information he looked over his monitors grimly. "Right, well something is there anyways. That is one of the locations I'm getting odd readings from. So we'll want to check that out."

He shoots a curious look over to her. "Why were you going to give him the book?" She just gives a shrug. "I don't know, I had seen it in a store and thought it might be something he'd like."

After a moment the Doctor switched his gaze over to Jack. "What about Saxon?"

Mickey spoke up at that part. "I found some references to the secret books of Saxon, but it's hard to pin down. If they are real, someone's keeping them quiet. There are rumors about some sort of cult, but I had to dig to find even those."

When he finished, Gwen chimed in, her voice efficient. "Lucy Saxon is being held at Broadfell prison, her story is a strange one. According to reports she shot and killed her husband, but no one really seems to know why. By all apparent records she doted on him right up until that day. I can't even find a record of an official trial, but I found there was some sort of tribunal held in secret that convicted her."

Martha, Jack and the Doctor exchanged a look. They all knew why, and what, had led up to the shooting. For the rest of the world, however, there was no record of it. It was the year the Doctor reversed; it had never even happened to all but a select few. Martha folded her arms, her voice and posture tense. "What I don't understand is why someone would want to bring him back. He's a complete madman."

"Unfortunately, most of the world doesn't know that. Or perhaps I should say fortunately, they never had to experience what we did, it was all wiped away." The Doctor frowned as he thought it over."

Shooting a glance back and forth, Bob chimed in. "What was wiped away, I can tell whatever it was, was more serious than some spilt milk."

The Doctor hesitated a moment, looking between Jack and Martha before coming up with a summary for the rest. "Harold Saxon was actually a Time Lord, which went by the name of the Master. He had been in hiding, until Jack Martha and I had a run in with him. He stole the Tardis, and used it to make a paradox machine to bring in this army. He used the army to take over the earth and make it his personal playground. He did a lot of nasty things, but in the end we stopped him. In stopping him, we ended up reversing the year in which that all happened. No one remembered it, except those of us that were there on the Valiant when the reversal happened."

Bob let out a low whistle. "That must have done a number on those of you that remembered."

Jack gave a bark of humorless laughter. "You could say that again. Lucy, his wife, was one of those that remembered. He had influenced her somehow, and when the year reversed, she just snapped, but not in the going berserk way. Instead she just shot him and he died."

Mickey's brows furrowed. "Hang on, if he was a Time Lord, why didn't he regenerate?"

Both Jack and Martha exchanged an uneasy look, before looking to the Doctor. "He refused to regenerate; he did it to spite me."

Shifting his stance, Mickey thought it over, and asked another question. "Then how can they resurrect him now?"

"They shouldn't be able to." The Doctor's face had gone mask like. "I cremated the body, but what I didn't realize then, he had a special ring. This ring contained the essence of who he was, that's a rather dangerous thing. In the vision that was shared with me, an older woman with very pale hair picked it up. She's probably part of the cult that wants to resurrect him. This is the same vision that warned me that they shouldn't get their hands on Jack or Rose."

Nodding, Mickey's look was intense as he puzzled it out. "Then, if we stop them from resurrecting Saxon, we stop all the other bad stuff from happening?"

"Right in one, Mickey-the-not-such-an-idiot."

"Watch it mate."

"I did say you were not such an idiot didn't I?"

Scowling Mickey returned to the subject at hand. "Then how do we stop it."

"Weeeellll making sure they don't get their hands on Lucy Saxon would one way. She's a part of it." The Doctor ran a hand through his hair thinking.

Considering Jack gave a small sigh of annoyance. "Great, so we need to make sure they can't get to Lucy Saxon, and find out what Naismith has. To top it off Rose and I probably should stay in the Hub, or the Tardis, so nobody can get to us. Did I miss anything?"

The Doctor shook his head and offered his wide smile. "No, I think you got it Jack."

Gwen's voice was thoughtful. "We could try faking prisoner transfer or even some sort of psychological concern as grounds for taking her. Then bring her back to the Hub and keep her safe that way."

Jack smiled, "I like that. Gwen you, Martha and Bob work on that one. Martha being a medical doctor and Bob's credentials should help with that one. Mickey, your tech savvy could help at Naismith's. Yes, I know Doctor, you know everything, but maybe we should have Mickey's help."

"And that is as much as a plan as I want to go with. Dangerous things plans, so much can go wrong with them." Donna rolled her eyes at the Doctor's typical reaction. "I'll keep an eye on spaceboy so he doesn't get into too much trouble."

Ianto's quiet smile flashes. "That leaves me holding down the fort and running interference if needed."

Meanwhile ….

Wilf walked down the street, shopping back in hand. Seasonal festivities had started to crop up all over the place, brightening the streets. His own step was lighter, due to the restoration of his granddaughter. Yet, something still troubled him.

He looked around at the celebration, and the joy it seemed to bring people. To him, it seemed if there was a shadow overhanging it all, something that was just waiting for the right moment to strike. Despite the celebration around him that strove to beat off the cold and the dark, he shuddered. A madman's laughter from his nightmares echoed within.

Then something caught his eye, something unexpected, with a glint of Tardis blue. Feeling an odd pull, he started towards the building he spotted. It was a grand old church, and the windows glowed with light.

Making his way inside, he found himself drawn towards the windows as he moved through the Church. Warmth and light infused the building, the sound of the choir gently filling the air. As he got closer to the windows he saw it, an image of the Tardis in stained glass at the feet of the saints.

From behind him came a voice, one that was quiet, but caught his attention. "They call it the Legend of the Blue Box."

He turned around to see an older woman behind him. She was dressed all in white, with pearls around her throat. Her dark hair was brushed with a bit of white, and was in a soft wave around her head. He offered a small smile. "I've never been in here before, not much one for churches, too cold."

She just gave him smile. "This was a site of a convent back in 1300's. It's said a demon fell from the sky. Then a man appeared, a man in a blue box. They called him the Sainted Physician. He smote the demon and then disappeared."

Turning back around Wilf looked at the window. "That's a bit of a coincidence."

She just smiled. "It's said there is no such thing as coincidence, who knows perhaps he's coming back. The legend says that once day he will return, when darkness threatens he will bring back the light.'

With a small smile he moved to turn to face the woman again. "Who knows, just maybe they were right." But when he turned around, he found she was gone.

Back in the Tardis, Rose stretched, slowly waking up. As she blinked she realized something was different. Everything felt even more detailed than normal. Every single detail about scent, sight, touch, they all were divided into their individual components. If she concentrated, she could tell exactly where they were coming from, and what they were.

The Tardis had redecorated while she slept, and the colors were now more calming then the bright pinks would have been. The walls were now tinted a soft green, with a dusky rose and swirling gold decorative borders. It reminded her of Gallifreyan script. Her bed was still pink, but of a much more muted color.

A bit overwhelmed by everything she made her way to the en suite; hoping that a bit of a wash up would help. It did sooth her some, but when she finished and made her way back to her room, she felt exposed somehow. All this information, she needed to find a way to tone down the input.

It was in that moment she understood the Doctor's tendency for layers. Less exposure meant less information to distract her. Rose went straight for the wardrobe, and saw that the Tardis had anticipated her needs. She pulled on some nice dark trousers, the material soft and comforting. A long sleeved blouse of a blue gray color was a comfort to have. The pink converse peeking out at the bottom, made her smile, and pull them on. She wondered what the Doctor would think about them. But somehow she still felt exposed. Diving back into the closet, she found what she needed, a dark brown soft leather jacket. Now she was ready to face whatever came next.


	16. Chapter 16 - Testing

**Rose finds the kitchen, and that leads to the Doctor running some tests.**

**While the Story will contain parts of a rewrite, mostly will focus on Rose/Doctor and what they go through.**

_It was in that moment she understood the Doctor's tendency for layers. Less exposure meant less information to distract her. Rose went straight for the wardrobe, and saw that the Tardis had anticipated her needs. She pulled on some nice dark trousers, the material soft and comforting. A long sleeved blouse of a blue gray color was a comfort to have. The pink converse peeking out at the bottom, made her smile, and pull them on. She wondered what the Doctor would think about them. But somehow she still felt exposed. Diving back into the closet, she found what she needed, a dark brown soft leather jacket. Now she was ready to face whatever came next. _

Rose trailed her fingers along the hall as she walked. It was like moving through air that was heavy, weighed down by moisture or rich scent. It was the same air as before, but somehow it felt thicker to her now. Not that it was hard to breathe, but it just felt different. She kept trailing her fingers along the hall, gently feeling the texture of the walls. It was a different feeling, catching tiny differences that normally she couldn't.

Her steps slowed, and then stopped, as she changed her mind about her destination. Sapphire gave an inquiring meep, and Rose just patted her in reassurance. Originally she wanted to go to the console room, but now, now she wasn't sure that was what she wanted. Instead, she followed another instinct and made her way to the kitchen. There was something that was important about going to the kitchen, she just couldn't figure out what yet.

When she found the door and opened it, she simply stood there for a moment, evaluating. First there were the faint smells from food and beverages, delicate ones, almost dusty from the length of time since they had been there yet. Yet the smells were not the reason she was here, though they had their own importance. Moving further into the room, her eyes settled on the teakettle.

Tea, tea would be a good start to what she needed. Rose paused slightly at the thought, and then moved on, hands automatically moving in the dance to prepare a good cuppa. As she went through the ritual a stray thought distracted her. Apples, she really wanted a nice juicy apple for some reason. Setting the tea to brew, she searched around the pantry until she found one. Moving to the sink, she washed it off, carefully drying it before taking a bite.

The essence of it exploded across her tongue. Thoughtfully, slowly, she chewed her bite. Not quite sure what the compulsion about this was, she took another bite when she was finished with the first. It was the same reaction, the same through, but careful, evaluation of what she was eating. If this is what just a couple of bites of apple were like, what would other foods be like? Well there was only one way to find out. She started searching through the pantry.

A few hours later, Jack was sitting in the jump seat of the console room. It was a good spot for him, he could monitor if anything was going on in the Hub, and if Rose woke up, the most likely place for her to go first. At least in theory that was the idea. In practice, he hadn't seen her yet, and it was well past the time that she thought she would wake up. Now Rose actually had been sleeping less and less, so this did concern him.

He was about to go check on her, when a commotion in the hub caught his attention. Martha, Gwen and Bob had arrived with Lucy Saxon. A very unhappy Lucy Saxon, one that was yelling that they were all colossal idiots. To add to the chaos, Mickey, Donna, and the Doctor had just arrived. The Doctor and Mickey were arguing back and forth between themselves over something, and Donna was just rolling her eyes at them.

Jack went to stand in the doorway of the Tardis, staring at the commotion. After seeing enough of the mass of confusion he lifted his fingers to his mouth and whistled, loudly. The sound cut across the cross chatter and everyone looked up at him surprised. "Right, Gwen, Bob, get Ms. Saxon in one of the containment cells. Bob stay with her and talk to her. Mickey, Donna, start going over what you found with the others. Martha, Doctor, I was just about to go check on Rose, and she should have woken up by now."

It was amusing almost, how folks scattered to obey. Normally it was the Doctor issuing the orders, even to Jack. However these people were his team and used to listening to him. Well except for the Doctor of course. But he just played his trump card with the Doctor, Rose. That sent him towards the Tardis doors in a hurry, Martha trailing along with a worried expression.

Hurrying into the Tardis, the Doctor sent an inquiry to his beloved ship. He was somewhat startled by the reply. His ship, it would seem, was rather amused about the fact that Rose was in the kitchen. When he asked her what was so funny about it, he got the sensation he would know when they got there. "Right, don't bother with her room Jack head to the kitchen."

Jack shot a look back at him and then turned in the general direction of the kitchen. "The Tardis told me."

"Did I ask?" Jack seemed almost amused.

Whatever reply the Doctor might have come up with died on his lips as they reached the kitchen and opened the door. Rose was in there all right, she was in the corner of the kitchen, eating peanut butter, from a jar, with a spoon. Every inch of counter space and the table were just filled with dishes of partially eaten food. Everything seemed to only have a bite or two taken out of it, though some were almost gone. In the middle of the table the fuzzy blue lizard snored with an overfull belly. There were also pots and pans all over the kitchen, and the various scents from cooking warring with each other. There were about half a dozen different cups of tea as well.

Rose looked up at their entrance and smiled brightly. She waved the jar of the peanut butter at the Doctor in one hand; the spoon was in the other. "We should get more of this stuff, its great! Natural peanut butter, it has only two ingredients, peanuts and a tiny bit of salt. The other peanut butters are over processed, blech."

The Doctor was the first to recover, and moved into the kitchen. When his foot nudged the first dish on the floor, he looked down. Then he picked his steps with care before gently reaching to take the jar from Rose. Jack finally managed to comment from the door. "I take it you were hungry?" Martha's mutter comment showed she had started to recover. "Really hungry or just had trouble making her mind up."

Rose blinked, looking around, and then flushed a bright red color. "I, um, m'sorry, I don't know what came over me. I guess I got a bit carried away." Her voice was a bit feeble as she looked around. She didn't resist when the Doctor took the jar away.

With a small head shake the Doctor offered her a soft smile. "Don't worry about it; you've seen some of the messes I've managed." He looked around, and then back at her, inviting her to make the comparison herself. "This actually manages to be fairly neat and orderly compared to what I have pulled off."

Martha grinned from the doorway. "Too right, this is nothing."

The Doctor made a mock affronted look in her direction. "You didn't have to agree with me."

When he looked back at Rose, he was glad to see her smile. The Doctor watched her intently, hesitating, mouth slightly open with unspoken words. Inside, he was crawling with the need to take her to the med bay and check her out. He wanted very badly to do that, but he couldn't push something like that.

She studied his face, seeing the unspoken words, and feeling his underlying concern. Biting her lip, she took a deep breath and straightened up. "You want to check me out, yeah?"

He gave a quick sideways glance around to the dishes and then back to her face. The other two might not know what this could signify, and his mind refused to accept it. "It would make me feel better. But, you don't have to do anything you don't want to."

Her gaze went to Jack and Martha, who gave her a reassuring smile, then back to the Doctor. "Okay, probably best, things feel weird anyways. Well not weird, just, I feel more if that makes sense."

Eyes unfocused, he looked inwards process her words. "Feeling more, right, right. Well, let's just get that checked okay?"

With a quick nod she started to step forward. Then an abashed smile crossed her face as she realized she needed to pick her steps carefully. The Doctor half lifted his hand towards her to offer help, but he stopped halfway there.

Rose saw the movement and stopped. Then she deliberately reached for his hand. With a swift intake of breath, he took her hand. A tiny smile crept up her face as they simply stood there, absorbing the moment. "It still fits."

His eyes went a little dark with intense emotion at her statement. "Yes, yes it does." He lightly rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand as they stood there. The emotion was intense and tightly strung between them, as they considered each other.

Then he turned, looking down to watch his step as he carefully lead her out. The Doctor walked slowly so she could take her time picking between the crammed together dishes. "Do you want to take Sapphire?"

With a quick head shake Rose's answer was light. "Nah, she needs to sleep that mess off. She can usually find me no matter where she is."

When they got close to the door, the Doctor looked up to see that Jack and Martha had identical grins. "What are you grinning about?"

Jack adopted an innocent look turning to Martha. "Absolutely nothing, right Martha?"

She nodded with the same innocent look. "Nothing at all, so we head to the med bay now?" She pointed behind her as the two of them cleared the doorway."

The Doctor eyed them, not fully convinced. "Riiiiiiiiight, but yes, med bay now."

When they reached the hall, the Doctor loosened his grip so she could pull away. Rose however didn't. Instead she just shifted her grip so their fingers twined together. His breath caught again, and he looked at her with something like wonder in his eyes. Her smile crept up her face again for him.

Then when she couldn't quite bear the intensity of continuing to look at him, she reached out with her free hand to touch the wall as they walked. He couldn't quite resist asking about it in a curious tone. "What does that feel like to you?"

Rose's voice was soft as she thought about it. "Warm, cause it's part of the Tardis, and I can feel her there. Not as strong as the rotor or console mind you, but it is still her. I can feel, the tiny changes in the surface, but mostly the warm from the fact it's the Tardis."

Then they reached the med bay, and Rose stopped dead. The Doctor could tell her hearts were beating faster. He wasn't sure if it was a good idea to turn and face her, or to move to put distance between them. When she dropped his hand to use both to cling to the side of the door, he felt its loss keenly. "It's okay Rose, take your time. Nothing is going to happen in here that you don't want."

She nodded, closing her eyes and leaning into the door frame. "M'alright. Just need a tic. You get what you need."

He knew she couldn't see it, but he nodded moving away. Martha followed him as Jack stayed at her side murmuring words of comfort. A sudden flare of jealousy spiked inside him and he ruthlessly tamped it down. He currently didn't have the right to be jealous of anyone or anything. Instead he focused on getting what he needed.

Martha studied his face; she could tell he was struggling. "You know, one of the things she worried about, was that she would push you away. Rose really does need you Doctor."

Surprised he turned to look at her. "Martha Jones, I have been an absolute rubbish friend to you at times. "

Her smile got a fraction wider. "It's alright Doctor, some of it I brought on myself, and you more than made up for it."

Setting everything down, he wrapped her in a hug. "Thank you. Just promise me you'll always remember how brilliant you are"

"You got it."

Letting her go he scooped things up and turned to head towards one of the beds. Jack had managed to ease Rose from the doorway, to sit on the bed, her legs hanging over the side. Her hands were gripped on the side, and her eyes still closed. She opened them when he approached, managing a feeble smile.

Anxiety poured off her in waves, he could tell that. It would throw some of his readings off, but it couldn't be helped. He studied her a moment, and then launched into a story. The specifics didn't really matter, it was more the babble and flow of words designed to help her relax. The Doctor could feel her eyes on him as he worked; he kept his movements deliberate and gentle. When her heart beats started to slow, he knew his attempt to calm her was working.

Then he started evaluating her results and his jaw dropped. What the instruments were telling him was just impossible. Yet, there it was, right in front of him. He needed to check one more time.

They all noticed the interruption in his flow of words, and how his movements became a bit more intense as he did a second round of tests. Oddly enough, this was further calming Rose. His worry for her was very real to her. She could feel it, and it soothed her own fears away. The other him, seemed to not care what happened to her. It was as if her welfare was completely inconsequential. Not so with the Doctor, to him, it seemed to be everything.

Abruptly he moved to some cabinets, pulling what looked like to be some test tubes out, that is when Rose turned to Jack and Martha. "Why don't you two check on the rest? I got a feeling they need you more than I do right now."

Rose's voice may have been quiet and calm, but it still was very surprising to Jack and Martha. It was Martha that asked first. "Are you sure? We can stay here with you as long as you need us to."

Rose gave them a nod. "Yeah, I think this is something him and me, we need to work out together. M'fine now, he won't hurt me, I know it." Her statement was calm, and filled with utter certainty."

Jack held both hands to the sides of her face, studying it intently. "Okay sweetheart, but if you need me, I'll come running."

She smiled as he leaned in to kiss her forehead. "You always have Jack."

As he pulled away he grinned. "That's because you are worth fighting for, always."

They slipped out, and Rose slid off the bed, moving towards the Doctor. She clasped her hands together, playing with her own fingers a little as she moved closer to him. Rose stopped when she was close enough, keeping a bit of distance between them still.

He turned to stare at her, and then back at the monitors. Biting her lip, she watched him, before finally blurting something out. "Talk to me Doctor. It makes it worse when you won't talk to me."

He was starting to slowly put his hands up in his hair and he froze when she spoke. Continuing the motion he turned to look at her, tugging on his hair. Finally he dropped his hands and swallowed. "This is impossible."

Her grin flashed a bit wider than it had been before. "Think that isn't a word that applies much to us, yeah?"

"Rose, this just, shouldn't' be happening to you." He waved a hand at the monitors. "This usually takes eons of evolution, and you, you are doing it in a couple of decades. Your body is converting itself into a different race!"

To his shock, she didn't seem the least bit surprised. "Yeah, m'not human, and not full Time Lord, but something in between. I have it on good authority that I'll never be one or the other ever again."

He blinked and looked at her. "Yes, but you are going to be more Time Lord then human. I don't understand how this happened."

She gave him a soft smile. "I made some choices Doctor, Bad Wolf happened, and is continuing to happen. That's what caused this."

With a wave of his hand towards the monitors his voice went a bit thick. "Not all of it, I can tell when there are surgical scars. Someone did some of this to you. That is why you are afraid of the lab."

Now she swallowed a small tremor in her hands. "Yeah, he did some of that. But he only built it on what was already there." There was the smallest of hesitations and she pushed ahead. "Yeah, he did it to see if he could convert himself away from being part human, but the first changes were from my own choices."

Turning he moved to sit heavily in a chair, hands tugging at his hair again. His voice was small. "He really wasn't me, because I could have never done that to you. Not ever. "

Rose bit her lip, and then carefully moved towards him. She stayed just out of reach studying him. "Doctor, he had left something in my head, a construct." She quickly continued, jumping back when he shot up, eyes wide and worried. "S'gone now, all gone, got rid of it. But, before it was gone, asked two things of me. The first was to help Donna, that's how I knew she needed me. The second, he asked me to tell you the name he picked for himself. That you would understand then just what happened."

His hearts hammering, he was afraid to ask, yet at the same time he needed to find something that would help this nightmare make sense. "What, what name did he pick out?"

Steeling herself for his reaction, she watched him with worried eyes. "He had the identification made up as John Valeyard."


	17. Chapter 17 - What does it mean

**Rose and the Doctor grapple with what the duplicate choosing that name means.**

_Rose bit her lip, and then carefully moved towards him. She stayed just out of reach studying him. "Doctor, he had left something in my head, a construct." She quickly continued, jumping back when he shot up, eyes wide and worried. "S'gone now, all gone, got rid of it. But, before it was gone, asked two things of me. The first was to help Donna, that's how I knew she needed me. The second, he asked me to tell you the name he picked for himself. That you would understand then just what happened."_

_His hearts hammering, he was afraid to ask, yet at the same time he needed to find something that would help this nightmare make sense. "What, what name did he pick out?"_

_Steeling herself for his reaction, she watched him with worried eyes. "He had the identification made up as John Valeyard." _

He went so still it was like he had been frozen into a statue. She hoped his respiratory by-pass had kicked in, because he wasn't even breathing. It was an odd sensation, because it was just like he had become void of all though, emotion, movement. Then his eyes closed and he slumped a little in his seat.

Biting her lip again, Rose was uneasy because she could tell he was putting a wall between her and his feelings. Part of her screamed to get out of there, get away, there was no way she could predict what was going to happen next. Another part of her was grateful, because of how uncertain her own balance was. The greater part of her was concerned, because if he was shutting her out, then it must be pretty bad. Fighting her own instincts, she found a chair and sat a little distance from him. She couldn't get closer, but she wouldn't leave him alone there.

She was startled when she felt a small tugging on the bottom of her trousers and a soft meep. Sapphire was sitting at her feet, head weaving back and forth watching her. Apparently she had woken up and found her way to Rose's side. Rose scooped up her little friend cuddling her close as Sapphire thrummed at her. Stroking a hand over the soft short fur that covered the little creature a thought occurred to her.

She couldn't get that close to the Doctor, not yet, but Sapphire could. Hesitantly, she stood up and carried her small friend over; gently she placed the little lizard in the Doctor's lap. Sapphire's muzzle turned to her once, and then up towards the face of the Doctor. She reared up in his lap, one of her forepaws reaching to tug on his jacket, the other braced about midway up his abdomen. She gave a small inquiring meep, her head weaving back and forth studying him.

Internally, the Doctor was battling through his emotions, guilt being the biggest among them. Fear was coming in a close second to that. Guilt, because he had managed to leave the darkest part of what he was, with Rose. What his duplicate was capable of started from his own darkness. Was that what he was on his way to becoming, the Valeyard? He couldn't let himself go down that road. He had to make himself better. He needed his Rose, he needed to protect her.

He was in the middle of cycling through those thoughts, when the small warm weight in his lap registered. At the meep, he opened his eyes to see Sapphire peering up at him, and Rose's hands tentatively in the air near the little creature. He felt the tugging on his jacket, and with an indrawn breath, his arms came around to cuddle the little creature close. Rose's hands withdrew, and he looked up at her as Sapphire started to thrum at him. She had offered a source of comfort to him, even though he could tell she was struggling. He blinked hard, tears rarely rose to the surface, only extremely intense emotion could ever bring them up, and there they were threatening to fall.

Unsteadily his hands stroked over the fuzzy lizard in his lap, his voice both rough and conversational. "I don't deserve you. I really don't deserve to have someone so caring and compassionate in my life. I argue with the fact that I want, no, need you in my life, with wanting what's best for you. In my mind, what is best is for you to be far, ever so far, away from me. I know I can't do that to you, yet I feel selfish for letting you stay, or come close."

It was a baldly honest statement from him, and he surprised her with it. She took her time in answering, both because she was struggling and because she wanted to make sure he knew she had thought it over. "I tried being far away from you, that doesn't work for me. I'd rather go through things with you, than be without you. I hope to change your mind about the whole deserve part, cause if anyone deserves something good in their life, it's you."

He gave a somewhat bitter laugh at the statement, still stroking Sapphire. "You don't know the horrible things I have done; I haven't shared them all with you. That is part of what scares me, and thinks you should be far away, because the name Valeyard means something. The Valeyard was an enemy I faced in the past, but he's not from the past. He's from my future. He was comprised of the worst parts of me, the darkest parts of me, and that's something I never want you to have to face." His shoulders slumped again. "Yet, in part, you did, because of something I did. I wouldn't blame you for hating me."

There was a trickle of fear that ran down her spine at his admission. She struggled with this information, part of her very much wanting to flee. "Doctor, I'll admit I was very angry with you at times, but I never hated you. This isn't going to be easy, for either one of us. There are walls built with pain between us, and it will take time to tear them down. Those walls have thorns embedded in them, so they are going to hurt."

Taking a deep breath in, she lets it out slowly. She felt so twitchy, and she needed to get it out of her system. She stood up quickly, causing the chair to scrape on the ground. The Doctor finally looked at her, and she managed a weak smile though she knew her expression must be strained. "Look, I need to go, do something. I won't leave the Tardis, I just need some time. I think it would be a good idea for you to go do something to take your mind off things. After, I'd like to talk to you about this extra stuff I have now. I just can't deal with it at the moment, okay?"

After taking his own breath in and releasing it he nodded, not quite trusting his voice. He started to offer Sapphire to her and she shook her head. "No, keep her with you for a bit, yeah? I'm going to go do something physical, help clear my head, and she's better off with you. If you need to go off somewhere, just put her in my room or give her to Jack or something." His hands closed protectively around the little fuzzy lizard.

In his lap, Sapphire curved her neck around to look at Rose, giving a small meep. She reached out and gently stroked her fingers down the little creature's neck. Then she let them rest for a moment on the back of the Doctor's hand.

Rose could feel it, the tremor inside her that threatened a full blown panic attack. The one that urged, run, run, run, run until you are far away from anything that can hurt you. Swiftly she turned and on slightly unsteady legs made her way out of the med bay. Reaching the hallway she staggered, her breathing becoming uneven. Blindly she reached for the wall, leaning on it. The reassuring hum of the Tardis in the back of her mind swelled for a moment, and then she felt the hallway shift. Feeling the slight nudge, she turned, taking one step, and then another. Soon she was running, feet pounding down the hall, mind blank, just concentrating on putting one foot in front of the other as fast as she could.

When Rose's fingers vanished from the back of his hand, the Doctor's breath caught with the feeling of their loss. Sapphire rubbed her cheek against his stomach and he looked down at her. He felt hollow inside, an empty ache that had everything to do with the way he was walling himself off. The Doctor needed to open back up to the thin link between him and Rose, yet at the same time he feared doing so. He feared inflicting his own current unstable emotions on her fragile state.

She'd not only seen part of the monster that was inside him, she had suffered at the hands of it. Oh it was through another's hands, but those hands looked like his, and went with a face that was identical to his. It might as well have been at his hands. Yet, she wanted to stay. At the moment, he wasn't sure if that fact made this heaven or hell, he just knew he couldn't let go of her.

He stood up, still holding Sapphire, one thing that Rose was right about, he needed to do something. He helped the little creature climb up to his shoulder, letting her wrap herself around his neck, giving off a comforting thrum that soothed him. Steadying himself, he went to find the rest, to find out what they had come up with.

Rose ran for what seemed to be hours, she really didn't try to think about for how long. She just realized after a certain point, she wasn't getting tired. Once the blurry edge of a panic attack receded, she noted she was not even breathing hard. The innate curiosity was back there like an itch, how much was she changing, what could she do. There was a bitter twist to her lips as she remembered her Mum's statement so long ago. She certainly wasn't human anymore.

First she slowed, and then she stopped, the running had calmed her brain, but she wasn't ready to face anyone else yet. So she simply started to wander, slowly turning thoughts over in her head. What was it that scared her the most? That was what she really needed the answer to. If she could figure that out, she could find a way to counter it, to feel more in control.

As her thoughts drifted, she realized there was something that could help her feel more powerful, more secure. Bob had helped her strengthen her mind. Now she needed to work on strengthening what she could do with her body. Her lips curved in a smile as she recalled her Torchwood training. She had the skills, she just needed to blow the rust off and see what the changes in her, allowed her to do.

Sending a gentle inquiry to the Tardis resulted in a door down the hall opening up. Making her way to it, she peered into it, and began to smile. This would do, very nicely.

About an hour later, Jack was wandering the halls of the Tardis looking for Rose. He had poked his head in all the normal places, and hadn't found her. So he started looking for the unusual ones. He still wasn't having much luck. Perhaps the Tardis was taking pity on him, because he finally came across the open door, and what he saw inside surprised him.

It was a state of the art gymnasium, complete with weights, gymnastic equipment, and one Rose Tyler. Currently she was dressed in a leotard and sweats, barefoot, and performing a kata on the mats. "I thought you were supposed to be wearing some sort of uniform while doing that?"

Bringing the deliberate movements to a close Rose laughed and turned towards him. "Technically, yes, but I'm not overly concerned about being graded."

Jack made a show of looking around, turning in a circle and giving a low whistle. "This place is nice; I don't think I've seen it before."

Rose shrugged, clearly unconcerned. "I haven't, but it was what I needed today. I needed to figure out what I'm capable of now. I forgot how good this can make me feel." Her smile flashed, her eyes dancing with amusement. "My Torchwood training, being a field agent meant needing to be able to handle anything. So where is everyone?"

Jack shrugged, pulling off his jacket and setting it to the side. "Most of them I sent to get some sleep. No good if they are falling over. The Doctor is in the console room, apparently giving Sapphire lessons in Tardis maintenance. We have more avenues to investigate, but tomorrow. You already know I don't sleep much anymore. Want a sparring partner?"

Rose's eyebrow lifted, bouncing slightly on the balls of her feet. "I could hurt you Jack; I'm a lot stronger, and faster than I've ever been. You aren't exactly dressed for sparring yourself."

He shrugged nonchalantly, emptying his pockets and toeing his shoes off. "I never wear something I can't fight in. It won't bother me, as for hurting me, well you already know, whatever you dish out I can take. So how about it, let's see what you can do."

She thought it over as Jack approached the mat. No reason not to take him up on it, and plenty of reasons to. Jack was safe. He didn't trigger any of her panic attacks, and he just made her feel safe. Plus he was right, if she had trouble judging her blows, he could take far more than anyone else could. "Alright, you are on, but don't say I didn't warn you."

The first bout was swift, brutal, and over quickly. Jack was taken completely off guard with her sheer speed. The second bout started giving him an idea about her strength. By the sixth, he lay sprawled out on the mat where she put him. "Okay Rosie, I think I need a break, and I never want you angry with me."

She grinned offering him a hand. He took it letting her haul him up. "You know it would be nice if you seemed to be breaking a sweat, or out of breath, but you aren't even that."

He started walking over to a bench as she shrugged. "Haven't reached my limit yet I guess. Eventually I'll push it just to see how far, but I can handle quite a bit. More than I ever hand."

Sending a silent thank you to the Tardis, she picked up two bottles of water, passing one to Jack. He took a long swallow and then patted the bench next to him. "Are you ready to talk about it?"

Sitting down, she gave him an even look. "Talk about what?"

"Whatever has you in here, and the Doctor tinkering. I know you two, so spill."

She sighed and gave in, leaning against him, resting her head on his shoulder. "I got freaked out and had to get away from him. I managed to hold it together, long enough to get out of there, and then I started running it out of my system."

He slid an arm around her, noting her skin twitched once, but she didn't pull away. "What freaked you out?"

Rose took her time answering. "One of the things I've been hanging on to is the differences between him, and the Doctor. But, the darkest parts of him, also come from the darkest parts of the Doctor."  
>Jack rubbed his hand up and down her arm as he thought about how to best answer her. "Rose, can you honestly tell me you didn't know those parts of him were there?"<p>

She tensed up under his arm, and then relaxed again. "No, I can't say that. S'just, hard, I think maybe I built him up in my head a bit while we were apart."

"Give yourself time sweetheart. Hell, give him time. You've only just met again. You aren't going to fix everything in a day." Rose flinched a little at his words, knowing them for the truth they held. Wasn't that the very thing she was telling herself not that long ago?

With a sigh she slipped an arm around him and squeezed. "You are right Jack. I guess I also need to remember, no matter what he is, he's still just a bloke."

That earned her a laugh from Jack. "Exactly, and he needs you to remind him of that too. You know him; he gets convinced he should be able to do everything. But he can't, and neither can you."

They sat there for a while longer, until Rose's voice broke the silence. "Jack?"

"Yeah sweetheart?"

"You going to tell me what else is going on? What you guys are working on?"

Silence fell again as Jack tried to work out in her mind what to tell her. Finally Rose couldn't take it. "Is it that bad?"

"Rose ….. Here's the thing, it's something that you have to stay away from, and before you get upset, so do I."

Frowning she pulled away so she could look him in the face. :"What's going on, why can't I be involved?"

He studied her face, searching for something, she wasn't sure what. "Because the Doctor was given a warning, but I'll tell you what I can." So Jack sat there, quietly filling her in.


	18. Chapter 18 - Burning

**The reappearance of the Master, and Rose gets more then she bargained for. **

**First section, most of the dialog taken directly from the episode, altered to suit the plot.**

**-0-**

"_You going to tell me what else is going on? What you guys are working on?"_

_Silence fell again as Jack tried to work out in her mind what to tell her. Finally Rose couldn't take it. "Is it that bad?"_

_"Rose ….. Here's the thing, it's something that you have to stay away from, and before you get upset, so do I."_

_Frowning she pulled away so she could look him in the face. :"What's going on, why can't I be involved?"_

_He studied her face, searching for something, she wasn't sure what. "Because the Doctor was given a warning, but I'll tell you what I can." So Jack sat there, quietly filling her in._

-0-

A small circle of people met in the basement of a building, not far from Broadfell Prison. Several women were dressed in prison guard uniforms. They clustered around a pedestal in the basement, one setting a wide lipped bowl in the center. The leader, a blond that look to be in her late thirties took a step forward. "Lucy Saxon has been taken from Broadfell prison."

There was a quiet murmur that quickly fell into silence with a look from their leader. "Torchwood has her, and we must move now, if we don't want them to interfere with our plans." Her gaze shifted to one of the guards. "You have her personal affects?"

The guard stepped forward a small bundle in her arms. "Yes Mum, but I thought we needed something fresh."

The leader's voice was stern under the velvet iron tone. "In his wisdom, Harold Saxon prepared for this moment, he knew he might die, and has made us ready. We will not lose faith. As it was written in the book of Saxon, bring forward the potions of Life!"

An older woman moved forward, a woman with the whitened blond hair and red fingernails. She placed a ring in the bowl. It was the ring from the Doctor's vision, a heavy silver ring, and the insignia looking like green enamel with circular Gallifreyan script in a design upon it.

Two of the women stepped forward, carrying vessels, the two potions were poured into the bowl, over the ring in the center. The liquid swirled an odd vivid blue color shining with purple as it swirled. The leader smiled gesturing to the person with Lucy's effects. The guard brought them forward, presenting them to her. Finding a tube of lipstick, she smiled. "This will do for the catalyst, Lucy was Saxon's wife, and she bore his imprint, the final bio-metrical signature."

Lifting it over the bowl, she dropped it inside, instantly causing a vortex of energy to start swirling upwards. Lightening arced through it, and above the building a sudden storm swelled into existence. Six of the seven gathered there spread their arms wide, facing the Vortex. The leader spoke for them. "We give of ourselves, that Saxon might live." A bright light started coming from the center of their bodies, the light and energy being drawn upwards into the Vortex. "And this was written also, for his name is the Master."

In the center of the Vortex, the figure of a man started forming. It grew thicker, and darker, the features starting to define. Dark hair and oh that madman's grin, he started talk, faintly at first, but then with greater strength.

"No, no, nothing, never, never dying, never dying, never dying, never dying!"

He threw his head back and laughed, and then spotted the seventh figure. She was still standing before him as he continued to finish forming in the middle of the vortex. His eyes rested on her, she was one of the ones dressed in a guard's uniform, the bundle of Lucy's belongings still in her hands. "Oh, you have her things, sweet Lucy Saxon, my ever faithful wife. Did the widow's things bring me back to life?"

The guard stood her ground, watching him with hard eyes. "You are killing them, your faithful followers."

The Master barely seemed affected by this statement. "Oh, let them die, they are just the first. The whole stupid stinking human disgrace can fall into the pit."

He brought his hands up to his face, sliding them from there to the sides of his head, over his ears as if they hurt. "Can't you hear it, the noise? The drumbeat louder than ever before, the never ending drums, oh I have missed them."

Then a small smile slid across the guards face. "But no one knew you better than Lucy Saxon; she knew you would come back. All this time your disciples have prepared, but so have we."

She reached into the bottom of the bundle and pulled out a small bottle, dropping the rest of the belongings to the floor. Suspicious, he narrowed his eyes at her. "What are you doing?"

Holding the bottle up, she reached for the stopper on it. "The secret books of Saxon, they spoke of the potions of Life. Lucy's family had contacts, people who were clever enough to calculate the opposite.

He glared at her as she pulled the stopper out. "Don't you dare! I'm ordering you, you will obey me!"

The guard kept her smile; she knew she was going to die. She knew that coming here tonight. In a small way, it was a good thing they were rushed, if they had performed this under Broadfell prison, many more would die in what was to come. As it stood, what would come would only take out the seven here tonight, a small price to pay to rid the world of a madman. "If Lucy were here, I know what she would say, so I will say it for her. "Till death do you part, Harry!"

She pulled back her arm and threw the small bottle hard so it hit the middle of the vortex of energy. His anguished angry cry echoed as a massive explosion built and rocked through the building. The neighborhood shook, setting off car alarms and shattering windows. Blue flames danced in the building, slowly shading over to the orange and red of a normal fire.

-0-

Jack and Rose wandered down the hallway, headed towards the console room. She was still in the leotard, but exchanged the sweats for her trousers; boots were back on her feet and the jacket on. After proving to them both Rose was a force few would want to reckon with now, Jack had talked her into going to check on the Doctor. Truth be told, it didn't take much coaxing on Jack's part. A part of her felt horribly guilty for having to run from him. She tried not to dwell on that, knowing that this all was going to take time. If she beat herself up every time she needed her own space, she was just going to make things worse. It was the struggle between putting his needs first, and hers second. Sometimes, it was very healthy to be a bit selfish.

As they got closer they could hear him lecturing Sapphire on the proper way to fly the Tardis. The occasional meep from the little fuzzy lizard turned their grins into smothered laughs as they stopped in the doorway. She was still draped around his neck, attentively watching as he gestured at the console. Her head bobbed and moved in time with his movements. His voice was gentle, and enthusiastic. Unable to resist, Rose stepped forward, eyes dancing and the tip of her tongue peeking out in her smile. "Bit domestic that, you feeling okay Doctor?"

His head snapped up to see Rose walking slowly towards him, hands on her hips and smiling. It was that smile too, the special one that she gave him when she was teasing. The sight of that smile gave him a funny little thrill. He gave her a mock pout at the tease. "I'll have you know Rose Tyler, there is nothing domestic about instruction on how to properly fly the Tardis.'

Rose's steps took her to the other side of the console from him, just barely keeping the Rotor from blocking their sight of each other. "Oh yeah, is that so? Well I seem to recall you still owe me more lessons in flying the Tardis."

The Doctor's face completely lit up with is wide smile. "You are right, how could I possibly have let that slip. Well we should start remedying that immediately. "

He started around the console towards her, only to pause when he felt something odd brush against his senses. Nothing a human would notice, but to a Time Lord's senses it was like a ripple, or shock wave. For him was just a light brush, but for Rose, it was something far stronger. Her hands clutched at the console as she struggled to stay upright.

Jack started towards her, as did the Doctor, but she waved them both off. "No, just let me….."

Rose's voice trailed off as she reached to skim her fingertips up the time rotor. "What is it? What's wrong girl; can you show me what is wrong?"

The Doctor started to bite off a warning, but it was too late. On the outside, it was if her body locked into place, and they could see a golden light kindling in the depths of her eyes. Sapphire untangled herself from around the Doctor's neck, and then used his shoulder to launch herself in Rose's direction. Once she reached Rose's feet she turned to face Jack and the Doctor. When they tried to get close she hissed and took a swipe at them. "What the, what the hell is she doing Doc?"

The Doctor looked down at Sapphire, to Rose, and then over to the time rotor. He closed his eyes briefly, the muscles in his jaw clenching. His voice was laced with tension when he finally spoke. "Don't touch Rose, not yet. I think she and the Tardis are talking, but I don't know how or why."

Rose was surrounded by the color gold. She was swimming in it, no drowning in it as it rushed around her. Then a large rough hand grabbed hers, steadying her. A flood of strength and warmth flowed from that touch and she dived back into the gold. There was something important here, something she needed to figure out. Just when she was going to give up in frustration, she saw everything.

Timelines stretched and flowed around her, an infinite number of lives and possibilities, but something was wrong. They were bleeding, not only that, they were shredding, something was cutting across and destroying everything in its wake, burning all life. Then she heard it, a sound cutting across the destruction, pulling the burning force in. 1, 2, 3, 4, and again 1, 2, 3, 4, it was a throbbing beat endlessly repeating, drawing destruction to it. Or perhaps the destruction was using it to pull itself in. Then everything turned red, bleeding and burning until nothing was left, threatening to overwhelm her. It echoed, a million times over, only a few fragile lines showing where it did not break through and succeed. Those lines were solid, undamaged and shining with possibilities.

The hand grasping hers gave a hard yank, and she found herself held protectively in leather clad arms. "Just breathe now Rose, slowly in and out, and relax."

She burrowed her head in his jumper, breathing in his scent of spice, a hint of grease, and of time itself. Her body was trembling slightly in reaction to the images that bombarded her senses. His hand came up and stroked over her hair. "That's it; just take it easy my precious girl."

When she got herself more under control, she pulled away enough to look around. They were in the control room of the Tardis, and she knew form the fact that her first Doctor was there, that it was the one inside her mind. "What was that?"

His voice was dry as dust and his smile tight. "You were drawn into part of how the Tardis sees things. Th' problem is we're not supposed to be able to see like that."

Rose blinked, the images lurking and threatening to overwhelm her. "Next time I'm going to be more careful about what I ask."

"You think?"

She smacked his arm for that and he rubbed his arm, pretending that it hurt. They both grinned at each other for a moment, before his expression sobered. "You've got to remember Rose, the Tardis and you are part of each other. That's not supposed to happen, and in anyone else, it would just burn you out. Even with your changes, you have to be careful about opening yourself up. That's why I grabbed you, and that's why I yanked you out."

Thinking it over, she frowned. "How do I stop it?"

Folding his arms across his chest his gaze turned inwards, looking like he was thinking it over. "We'll make a new barrier, so you can't just slide or be pulled in without you knowing. Ask her to help you, but never to show you. Not unless you are prepared to risk something fatal. If for some reason it becomes necessary, have an anchor. You need someone solid, just a construct, me. Having someone on the outside, that'd be helpful. Th' stronger the bond to you, th' better."

Her smile was crooked now, and her eyes spoke of her tiredness. "One more thing to learn, to understand, I think I'm ready for a vacation."

His expression was sober, and his concern was clearly written there. "It's a hard life Rose, the path you have been walking, and the one you are walking towards. Remember to cherish the quiet moments, and do what you always have done."

Curious she tilted her head. "What's that?"

His wide smile flashed, and he had that look she remembered. The one that told her that he loved everything she did. — "Look for the extraordinary in the ordinary moments. You were rather good at noticing things I never did. Now, go on, the Captain and pretty boy are worried about you."

He hesitated, and then added one more thing. "And Rose, don't forget, he is me, you can find me there inside him too. You just have to look for me."

Before she could respond, the room seemed to spin, and she found herself starting to collapse back in the physical console room. Her legs folded under her and she sat on the grating. An anxious meeping, and the tugging on her clothes told her Sapphire had climbed into her lap. Two worried voices echoed her name and she blinked looking up, just realizing she had closed her eyes.

"Hey, oh ow, I have an incredible headache." Opening her eyes had cued in her brain she was awake and the splitting headache hit her. An apologetic hum from the Tardis had her patting the console. "Not your fault, you just gave me what I asked for."

"Rose?"

Her eyes managed to focus on the Doctor as she sensed Jack settling by her. "Hey, sorry if I worried you, just give me a mo' trying to sort it out." Her face scrunched up and she blinked. "Don't suppose you have something safe for headaches?"

He quickly fished through his pockets, producing a small white pill bottle and a bottle of water. Popping the top of the white bottle off, he gave her a couple of tablets, and then passed the water over. "This should help." Putting the pill bottle back in his coat pocket, he warily sat cross legged on the floor by her.

Swallowing the medication, she looked at him evenly, her protector's words echoing in her head. Rose was still slightly fuzzy headed, and it seemed like the absolute best idea in the world to just stare at the Doctor. To look for the heart of him, to the man underneath, she needed to see it. She leaned forward frowning as confusion and uncertainty spread on his face. "Rose?"

She waved a hand at him. "Just, just hang on a tick, I need to see something."

The Doctor exchanged a glance with Jack causing Rose to frown. "No, no just stay still and look at me, I mean really look at me." Feeling suddenly exposed, he did as she asked swallowing hard.

Keeping her gaze locked on his, she concentrated on looking deeper. It was important to look past the things on the surface, that his eyes were brown were not what mattered. Ignoring that part she looked for what was within those eyes, and there it was. It was that look that held the weight of age and pain he had gone through. It spoke not just of loss and grief; it also spoke of hope and possibilities. Her other senses could pick up on the lines of time that wrapped around him, making him a shining beacon. It was no wonder folks were drawn in. In that moment she saw the man underneath, for she had seen the same look shine out of eyes that were blue.

Sitting back, she broke her gaze, taking another drink from the bottle. The pain relievers must be working because the fuzziness started clearing from her brain. "'Kay, I saw what I needed to."

Eyebrow raised Jack looked at her and to the uncertain Doctor. "What was that all about?"

She gestured with the hand holding the bottle, the remaining water within it sloshing around. "I will explain it later, the universe ending stuff should be explained first."

That got both their attention, the Doctor responding first. "What universe ending stuff, Rose what happened?"

Draining the bottle, she set it down so she could cuddle Sapphire instead as she organized her thoughts. The fuzzy blue lizard used the opportunity to climb up and wind herself around Rose's neck. There was more information there then just what she was shown, so she tried to make sense of all of it. "So, first thing I learned is be really careful what I ask of the Tardis. 'Cause I did something m'not supposed to. S'okay but I shouldn't do it again. Second thing, I think what I felt was a, ripple, for lack of better word. Time's in flux, bad things coming but we still have possibilities of preventing time from shredding, which is what I am all for. The rest of it is a bit confusing and fuzzy."

The Doctor hesitated and then asked the question that rose to the surface of his mind. You said shredding, was time bleeding?"

Eyes lighting up, her expression cleared of some of the confusion. "Exactly, well most of it was anyways. But there is something that's causing it, so that's what we have to stop. "

Rose made a sound of frustration; the images that had burned through her mind were slipping away. "M'not supposed to see things like the Tardis does, so I think its fading. I can't hold on to it."

The Doctors eyes got very wide. "You saw what the Tardis sees?" His voice came out a bit squeaky in his astonishment.

At that moment Gwen interrupted, sticking her head inside the Tardis. "Jack, you are going to want to see this."


	19. Chapter 19 - Senses

**The Doctor finds out a bit more about Rose, and Rose adjusts to some new things. They also find out someone may have survived.**

**The last scene has some dialog taken from the episode, altered to fit the plot.**

**All the support and reviews are wonderful guys, thank you.**

**-0-**

_Rose made a sound of frustration; the images that had burned through her mind were slipping away. "M'not supposed to see things like the Tardis does, so I think its fading. I can't hold on to it." _

_The Doctors eyes got very wide. "You saw what the Tardis sees?" His voice came out a bit squeaky in his astonishment. _

_At that moment Gwen interrupted, sticking her head inside the Tardis. "Jack, you are going to want to see this."_

~~~-0-~~~~~

The moment was broken, and the three started, looking at the door. Jack got up to move towards the door, pausing to look at Rose. She gave him a nod and he continued out. The Doctor stayed, his gaze turning back to Rose. He managed not to squeak this time. "How could you have seen what the Tardis sees? How are you talking to her?"

She swallowed hard, and tried to shift his focus. "Not important right now, figuring out how to prevent the destruction I saw is."

His hands twitched, wanting to reach for her, but he held himself back. It hurt that she was holding back from him. The pain slashed at the edges of his very self. Now he understood how she felt when he had held himself back from her. The bitter taste in his mouth was one that he needed to swallow down. "Rose, it might be important. But, if you don't want to tell me now, I won't push."

Hearing the tension in his voice made her bite her lip. He was right that it might be important, but she wasn't sure if it was important now. On the other hand, what was the point of holding this information back from him? Finally she let out her pent up breath, "Bad Wolf."

Eyebrows shooting up he looked at her. "What?"

One of her hands goes up to stroke Sapphire as she struggles to answer him. "At the game station, when I came back to try and rescue you, that's where the changes started. When I looked into the heart of the Tardis, she looked into me. Bad Wolf was us working as one. In order for that to happen a part of us, merged. You saved me from burning up when you took the energy out of me, but it didn't sever the connection."

Now his voice was quiet, subdued. "You remember that?"

A weak smile sat on her face as she answered. "Bits and pieces, but that is where it all started, my link to the Tardis, and my link, to, well you."

The Doctor's gaze turned inward as he processed what she said. "That's where your genetic change must have come from, and your telepathic ability started opening up." His gaze returned to hers, and he noted how her free hand was shaking slightly. "Oh Rose, I'm sorry, so sorry."

Going on a feeling, he leaned forward slowly bringing his hand up to the side of her face. He made sure she could see what he was doing, and was ready to pull away if she did. However she stayed very still as he reached and cupped the side of her face. She flinched when his hand actually touched her, but before he could pull away she actually pressed her cheek into his touch closing her eyes. "Thank you for telling me. When you are ready we'll talk about this more."

She had a bad moment when he first touched her. Instincts screaming at her to run, but when she closed her eyes, that vanished. The Doctor's touch was different, his temperature cooler then the half human duplicate's, and gentler. Especially the emotions that were flowing were different. It was her eyes and ears that were confusing her. This move also was so much like her first Doctor; she could feel him in it. They were, after all, the same man.

It was in that moment that she realized sight and sound were the things that she would struggle the most with. Her other senses all told her this was a different man. Yes, even the scent was a bit different, similar, but different. Sight and sound had been such a bit part of the information she received about the world around her, so it meant she would struggle for a long time. She just needed to learn to rely more heavily on other senses when it came to him. As long as he wore this face, and had this voice, there would always be some struggle. However she didn't want to give up, she didn't want him to change.

Putting her free hand up to cover his on her cheek she opened up her eyes. Focusing on the cool and gentle touch she managed a stronger smile for him. Her words were a ghost of a whisper that lightly brushed across his wrist. "It's worth fighting for."

He was rocked back to the game station at her choice of words. They echoed what Jack's had been so long ago. His beautiful Rose was fighting, fighting her own demons, and for him. The Doctor badly wanted to pull her into his arms but he throttled the urge down. It was enough that she was accepting his touch.

The noise outside intruded into their little bubble and they both looked towards the door. Rose's fingers curled around the hand resting on her cheek, gently pulling it down. "We should see what's going on."

Giving a nod he took comfort in the fact that she kept his hand. "Right, it is Torchwood after all, no way of knowing how they'll muck it up. "

Reaching over with her other hand she smacked him on the arm. "Ow, what was that for?"

He gave her an offended look as he rubbed his arm. "I helped run the other Torchwood and our friends work here. Try and remember that, or is that more than your big time lord brain can manage?"

A grin crept up on his face at her teasing tone. He quickly diverted it into a mock pout. "Fine, fine, but still we should check up on them." They scrambled up from the grating, hands still lightly linked and headed towards the door.

The Doctor went through first, and when Rose reached the doorway she stopped dropping the Doctor's hand. The sheer amount of information her senses tried to give her when she started to step outside the Tarids was like hitting a wall. It was if the Tardis had been muffling things for her while she was inside. Out here she was exposed. She took a step back into the Tardis to help cope.

Turning, the Doctor had a concerned and surprised look on his face. That quickly changed when he took in her expression and put it together. "Oh, oh you must feel like you are being bombarded. New stuff kicking in, all this information you are trying to process. Take deep breaths; concentrate only on a bit at a time. "

Rose nodded the practice not that unfamiliar to her at this point. Each time what she could do expanded she had to stop and take it in. Each new place, and each new sensation, left her momentarily overwhelmed and confused. She would be very, very, very glad when she was done with all these changes. "G'ahead, I need a minute and they might need you."

There was a line of tension in his body and she took a moment to puzzle it out. When she realized what was bothering him she softened. "Doctor, it's not like your leaving the hub, s'okay really. M'safe here, go see what they need."

The tension drained out of his shoulders, but she could still tell he was concerned even as he relented. "Alright, but if you need anything just say the word, any word really. Weeelll I say any word but probably should be specific ones about needing help of some sort. Not that I think you are helpless, you Rose Tyler are one of the most capable people I know."

Her soft laugh interrupted his gob. "Go, s'okay really."

She closed her eyes as he moved away, she needed to take things a bit at a time and integrate her senses together. Sight and sound were senses that were easiest for her to shut out. They were the ones most familiar to her. Scent was the next she could ignore, all familiar things there. Really it was the depths of the sensations that were giving her the trouble. Taste didn't seem to come into play here much, but oddly enough her sense of touch was.

She took one step outside the Tardis eyes still closed concentrating only on what she could feel. There were tiny changes in air pressure constantly going on. She guessed they must be from people moving around. Air currents stirred the small hairs on her skin, give cues to openings and movements. There were other things too, new things she was picking up on. Her human side didn't have a way to identify them, so she cautiously tapped into the Time Lord part of herself. Some of it was different kinds of energy fields. Machine and living creatures create and use energy. Different kinds of energy, and sizes could tell her what. It was like a fuzzy tickle against her skin.

Suddenly she got the impression of heat coming up next to her. Someone must be there but she wasn't ready to listen or open her eyes yet so she held up her hand in a gesture to wait. She could tell her hand was getting closer to the heat source, and feel the flow of air over her skin as her hand moved.

Filing it away, she moved on to her next sense of choice, scent. Rose had already had amplification to it, so she was used to being able to break down components of scents and identifying people by it. Now it was even stronger. Her nose identified pheromones; to be specific her mind tagged them as Jack's. They lingered from where he walked, slowly dispersing into the air. Standing by her was Martha, though the scent of Mickey lingered around her. That wasn't entirely surprising, but it made her lips curve upwards in a smile. Finally she filed away the changes, and moved on to the next sense.

What really surprised her was her sense of taste was actually coming into play. Not just her little incident in the kitchen, but here as well. Opening her mouth slightly the chemicals flowed over her taste buds; they were picking up things that were in the air. Fleetingly she thought of the Doctor's tendency to lick things. She was NOT going to go that far. Just, ew, she'd leave the wall licking to him.

Before she opened up sight and sound, she reached to touch anything new. It was one of the senses that were both most abstract to define and slowly growing stronger to her, it was her sense of time. This was far harder to put in human context; this was where more of the Time Lord side of her had to kick in. Rose did what she could to blend things together. She could tell that she had only been standing there for three minutes and twenty-three seconds, that Martha had joined her exactly one minute and six seconds ago.

If she concentrated hard enough she could feel the amount of time someone had lived, and potentially had left. That was a bit creepy, and she suddenly understood why Jack was wrong to the Doctor. Jack was this great gaping hole within the field of her time senses. It was like trying to stare into the utter dark, or the utter light. You desperately tried to make out something to focus on, but nothing was there, and it hurt. Identification noted, understood, and filed away and that sensation of wrongness dropped away. It also released her from a kind of tension; she had been picking up on something that bothered her, now she knew what it was. That allowed her to cope with it. Knowing something was gaining power over it. It is understanding that strips the fear away.

One by one she reeled in her extra senses; most she just didn't have human words for. Most of those were tied in to how she sensed time. Rose knew she wasn't done yet. These were just all she could handle for now. A part of her wondered how the Doctor could handle it, but the answer came to her. He was born with them, grew with them, and so didn't know what it was like to live without them. It also explained why he could be so easily distracted. Finally she reached sound and sight. They were the first things to have been amplified for her, so integrating them only took taking the tiny new nuances to file away. Finally she was done.

She turned towards Martha, while reaching up a hand to wipe a few tears away. They must have leaked when she hit something particularly overwhelming. Almost instinctively she paused to touch the tip of her tongue to the dampness on her hand. "You know I could tell you the composition of tears now."

Her tone was conversational, but Martha's was a bit amused and teasing. "Well I hope that doesn't mean you are going to go around licking things like he does now."

Rose laughed; it was the echo of her own earlier thoughts. "Not a chance, ew."

Martha wasn't done yet, she h ad been watching Rose, and was concerned. "How are you doing, really?"

Tilting her head back and then rolling it to the side she looked at Martha. "A bit overwhelmed to be honest. I feel like I'm swimming upstream in a river with a heavy current. Sometimes I just want to get away from it all. But there is nowhere really to go, it follows me."

"Just remember not to push yourself to hard, take breaks when you need it." Rose smiled at Martha's most common bit of advice to give Rose.

"Thank you." Rose impulsively swept her up in a hug.

Martha smiled as she hugged Rose back, only to be a bit startled when Rose suddenly pulled away and whirled around. She started walking away, and Martha looked past her to see Donna coming, with some luggage. Rose laughed and reached to take them from her. "Here give me that, I'll put it in the Tardis and she'll get it to your room."

Donna gave her a wide some. "Bless you; I wanted to make sure I had everything I needed." Then she gave Rose a careful look. "And you are okay with me being on the Tardis?"

Rose gave her a baffled look. "Why wouldn't I be, besides the Doctor needs people to keep him in line, you aren't going to leave me to do it on my own are you?" The three women burst into laughter at that, and when Donna's luggage was stowed on the Tardis made their way to where the rest were gathered.

The laughter sobered up as they reached the group. They had Lucy Saxon there, and Gwen and Bob were to either side of her. Mickey, the Doctor, and Jack were looking at the monitors as Ianto was thankfully bringing out coffee.

Rose made her way towards the trio by the monitors but stopped short, plopping herself into a seat at one of the desks. "So what's happened?"

They turned to look at her, gazes flicking over to Lucy and then back to her. "Last night a building burned down near Broadfell prison. They are blaming it on a lighting strike from a freak storm that blew up."

She eyed them, knowing there had to be more of it for them to be discussing it. "Do we have some sort of evidence otherwise?"

They moved away so they could show her an image frozen on the screen. It was the shadow of a man running through the flames. "We caught this from a surveillance tape. They have some in the area in case of problems with the prison. If something survived that, like that, it's not human. Lucy's identified the building as one that Saxon's disciples used. If they tried to resurrect him, there was someone who would try to stop it, which could result in the explosion. "

"And something not human, but looks human, possibly survived it." Rose bit her lip as she finished the thought. "Now we have to find whatever it is, before someone else does."

Thinking it over, Rose absentmindedly starting tapping her finger on the desk next to her, 1, 2, 3, 4,a pause and then 1, 2, 3, 4. She repeated the pattern as she thought. Lucy's head slowly turned in her direction, staring at Rose. "Harry used to do that."

Her quiet voice caused all other talking in the hub to come to a halt. Surprised Rose stopped looking up at the woman. "All the time he would tap that out, the drums he would say, the drums were always pounding in his head."

Rose blinked; the images the Tardis showed her starting to bleed into her sight. "Always that pattern, four beats over and over again?"

'Lucy nodded her lips in a bitter twist. "Endlessly I'd find him doing it. Sometimes he would play music loud to drown it out, but mostly he just seemed to embrace it, as me if I could hear it."

"Sounds like a good way to drive someone mad." Donna's offhand comment had the Doctor's eyes widening. "He is a madman Donna."

Mickey spoke up, his voice curious. "How's that going to help us now."

Almost unbidden the words slipped from Rose. "Because it's not just in his head, it's a signal.'

"What?" The Doctor moved to get in front of Rose, taking in her slightly unfocused eyes. "What do you mean by that?"

Her head turned in his direction, her eyes trying to focus and failing. "It's a signal Doctor, but I don't know if he's the transmitter or the receiver. I just know we have to stop the signal, or all is lost, time will burn and bleed and end."

Jack leapt into action, Mickey quickly following him to help. "He used one before, so we'll have to check if he's using something similar again."

Rose shook her head a little. "Not yet, only he can hear it now, but when everyone can, that's what we need to stop."

With a groan she closed her eyes putting both hands to her head. S'gone now, m'head hurts."

Instinctively the Doctor rushed to scoop her up. It wasn't until he had her in his arms and felt her stiffen that he realized what he was doing. He froze into place. "Rose, I'm sorry I'll just …."

Keeping her eyes closed she put her hand on his chest silencing him. "S'okay, just, take me somewhere quiet and dark, and don't talk to me until you put me down again."

His mouth opened and then snapped shut again. Giving the rest of the group a nod he started carrying her off in the direction of the Tardis.

They watched him carry her out; Jack's jaw was clenched looking like he wanted to follow to make sure Rose was alright. It wasn't with a jealous air though, more of concern. Shaking his head he turned his attention back to the matter on hand. "Alright folks, we need to check for signals, think how to block them, and track down one inhuman survivor, let's move!"

And it was important that the Torchwood team did find these things, because they weren't the only ones looking at the surveillance footage from last night. In the richly appointed study in his mansion, Joshua Naismith was watching it as well. He called his daughter over to see it. He pointed out the same image the Torchwood team had caught. "We may be in luck, take a look at this."

"Someone survived, do you think it was him." Her voice was colored with surprise, and then there was almost a purr to it as she spoke. "Oh that would be such a Christmas present"

He laughed, smiling as he got up. "You just leave that to Daddy."

Moving out of the study, servants opened doors for him as he moved into a large room. It had a glass dome made of many tiny windows centered in the middle of the room. There were scientists seated at computers around the edges, and a rather large piece of machinery at one end. It was shaped like an angled arch, the sides much thicker than the thin top. "Ladies and Gentlemen, it seems help is at hand. Prepare the gate, and put a hold on any Christmas plans you might have. If we don't finish this in time, Christmas will be canceled."

The computer screens danced with strange symbols as the strange gate sizzled with electricity. The room was almost completely filled with machinery, some guards, and scientists bent on getting finished.


	20. Chapter 20 - Where the heck am I?

**Rose finds herself in a strange place**

**-0-**

_Moving out of the study, servants opened doors for him as he moved into a large room. It had a glass dome made of many tiny windows centered in the middle of the room. There were scientists seated at computers around the edges, and a rather large piece of machinery at one end. It was shaped like an angled arch, the sides much thicker than the thin top. "Ladies and Gentlemen, it seems help is at hand. Prepare the gate, and put a hold on any Christmas plans you might have. If we don't finish this in time, Christmas will be canceled." _

_The computer screens danced with strange symbols as the strange gate sizzled with electricity. The room was almost completely filled with machinery, some guards, and scientists bent on getting finished._

_~~~~-0-~~~~_

Miss, Miss are you alright?"

Someone was taking to her? A voice started to break through the haze that clouded Rose's mind.

"Wait, I know you, your Donna's friend, the one that fixed her. You had the big gun when those giant pepper pots tried to kill everyone."

Footsteps crunching on gravel, why was there gravel in the Tardis?

"Rose! That's it, I remember now, are you alright?"

Awareness broke through the fog and the world rushed back in, all dizzying sights, sounds, smells, and touches. Blinking she turned to focus on the person talking to her. She finally recognized Donna's grandfather. Her eyes widened as she looked around, and then back to him, "Wilf?

He reached to pat her hand, his voice laced with concern. "That's right love; let's get you somewhere warm, your hands are freezing. You look like you have had a rough go at it. What are you doing out here?"

Here consisted of what looked like some sort of construction zone, or perhaps a construction dumping site. There were piles of gravel and debris, giant iron girders, it was a wide area. There was the frame of a building, and heavy construction equipment not far away. She could see the puff of her breath on the cool air. The sound of gulls calling edged the air. She looked at the eyes of the concerned old man and managed a smile for him. "M'not sure, last thing I remember I was on the Tardis."

Rose let him take her hand, gently leading her down the little hill she was standing on. "Well I don't know about that, but you were dashing about around here, like you were looking for something or somebody."

Her voice was faint, even feeble as she tried to puzzle it out, "I was?" Licking her dry lips she tried to remember, but only was able to pull up feelings of anxiety, and panic. "I think, I think I might have had a panic attack."

Wilf gently guided her along the road. "That must have been some kind of panic attack. Good thing I found you. I was out here looking for some friends; the lot of us was, when I spotted you."

There was something else, some sort of awareness poking at her, but when she tried to pin it down it slipped away. An odd, almost familiar scent was in the air. Something was going on here, but she just couldn't figure out what. "You have some friends missing?"

Wilf nodded, walking towards a bus parked on the road they were approaching. "Last couple of days, some folks that are usually around here are gone. Police won't do anything about it, especially since some of them don't have homes to go to. Say they aren't missing."

When he mentioned missing friends, a sinking sensation started in her stomach. "We're pretty far from Cardiff aren't we?"

Giving her a startled look Wilf nodded. "A good distance yes, if you started out there that's quite a gap."

Closing her eyes she scrubbed a hand over her face. "Do you have a phone I could borrow?"

"Hang on," Wilf dug around his pockets and pulled his out. "Donna got me one as a present, I don't know what half it does yet, but it's fun to play with."

While he was searching for his phone, Rose concentrated on her mind and realized part of why her head felt so thick. Her mental shields had clamped down into a tough armor around her mind. She could dimly sense outside emotions pressing at the edges, but she was shaky enough to not want to thin her shields yet. Rose took the offered phone with a soft thank you.

Her hands threatened to shake as she carefully input the number into the phone. When she put it up to her ear, Wilf took her free hand and gave it a gentle pat of reassurance. It started to ring and a familiar and well loved voice answered, "Harkness."

It helped damp down the edge of anxiety, allowing her to push it down. "Hello Jack."

"Rose, you're alright, thank God. Where are you?"

She had heard the indrawn breath, and appreciated the fact that he was keeping his voice calm and steady. Feeling the sharp edge of anxiety continue to rise, Rose took a hold of herself, concentrating on staying calm. "M'not sure, Wilf, Donna's granddad found me. I think I must have had a panic attack, everything's a bit of a blur."

Rose almost dropped the phone at the voices asking questions in the background. She didn't though; she just concentrated on breathing slowly. "How about I talk to Wilf then, he can tell us where you are and we can come get you. Can you handle a trip in the Tardis?"

Laughter bubbled up in her throat at the question. It may have been from nerves but it allowed her to start to relax. "Yep, Tardis not a problem, think you lot should come out here anyways. This place doesn't feel right and Wilf says people have gone missing."

Subtle waves of relaxation started to wash over her. She wasn't sure if it was from herself, or from other sources, but it did the trick. Jack's voice had an edge of interest, but she remained calm even managing to pop the p when she said yep. "Okay Rosie, give the phone to Wilf and we'll hop the Tardis over to where you are."

Handing it over to Donna's grandfather, Rose pulled a way a bit, scanning the area. Something was off, and the sensation just wouldn't leave her alone. If she had a panic attack, why would she end up in a place that felt like this to her? It didn't make any sense that she would, yet, here she was.

Behind her she could hear Wilf talking on the phone, and then hanging it up. The older man moved towards her, his footsteps crunching in the gravel. "Said they were on their way, to just stay put, taking that blue box here then I reckon."

On the heels of his statement, a familiar metallic whooshing noise echoed. They turned as the wind kicked up, and the Tardis pulsed into sight. Rose couldn't help but to smile as the Tardis solidified. Ever since she took up residence in that blue box, no where else ever felt like home to her. Not even all the time she spent in the parallel world.

The door opened, and Jack was out the door headed towards her in a gentle jog, a blue blur preceding him. With a small laugh Rose went to one knee, so when Sapphire launched herself at her, she scooped the fuzzy lizard up and cuddled her close. Sapphire wasted no time in scrambling up to her preferred perch wrapped around Rose's neck. She was both making a scolding sound as well as her thrum, clearly happy to see her again.

When she stood up, Jack had reached her and pulled her into a hug. His arms were tight around her as she embraced him. They rocked back and forth on their feet for a few moments. This too was home she realized.

Rose looked beyond him, and she saw Ianto standing right there. Freeing one hand she reached over and pulled him into the hug as well. Spending so much time with Jack had meant spending time with the Welshman as well. Ianto had quickly become her friend, and from there, part of her adopted family. It was easy for her to love someone that obviously loved Jack so much, and that Jack loved in return. One thing that Rose had never lost was her capacity to love.

Standing there now, she felt more of her tension drain away. She was utterly safe there, a small bubble she felt secure in. From the strength of the embrace, she could tell they must have been very worried. "How long was I missing?"

It was Ianto that answered her. "About thirty six hours, everyone was worried."

Startled, her gaze shot beyond them to see the Doctor braced in the door of the Tardis. His hair was even more wild then normal, as if he had been constantly tugging at it. Donna was standing by him, and Bob was nearby as well. Her eyes were on them as she murmured a soft apology. "M'sorry didn't mean to worry everyone. I don't really remember what happened."

Jack shifted to press a kiss on her temple before releasing her. "All that matters is that you are okay. We'll figure it out, and hopefully it won't happen again."

With a nod, she pulled away walking towards the Tardis. Dimly she noted that Wilf had moved ahead and embraced Donna, the two of them chatting. The Doctor was keeping his eyes on her. When she glanced down, she could see that his hands were in white knuckled fists. He was fighting himself, and the expression in his eyes told her he was hurting, worried.

She stopped and looked towards Bob, her smile a bit crooked. As a rule, no one touched Bob without invitation. It was a bad idea; especially with how charged with emotion things were right now. So she didn't pull him into a hug, she just smiled. When her gaze flicked from him, to the Doctor, she recalled a conversation they had awhile back. It was one where she was having a bad day, and couldn't let anyone touch her at all.

His voice had been soothing, reassuring. "You'll have good days, and bad days. Sometimes there will be things you can fight, and sometimes there will be things you can't fight. The key is to just keep working at it, and eventually the good days will outnumber the bad."

At the time she had been curled into the space under a desk, finding the small space somehow comforting. No one could accidentally touch her there. "How do I do that, how do I fight something like this, it isn't an enemy that I can beat up or outthink."

Bob was leaned back in a comfortable chair, his feet propped up on another chair. Arms folded across his stomach, the image of relaxation. "It is both easier and harder then you might think. You fight it by never giving up, and by not pushing yourself too far. If you break yourself, just takes that much longer to put yourself together."

She thought about it, taking her time before speaking. "Is that what today is, I've been pushing myself too hard?"

He shrugged his shoulders, seemingly completely unconcerned. "Maybe, could also be you just need a break from it all. You'll probably feel better later. This just may be the way your body, your mind, and your emotions take a break."

Rose thought about it, making no move to vacate her small space. "So, push myself when I can, back off when it's too much, and take a break every now and then."

"Now you are getting it." He seemed pleased, almost smug. "By the way, when you are ready to get out of there, you owe me ice cream and forty-two balloons."

Surprised by that she couldn't quite stop a snort of laughter. "The ice cream I get, but what's with the balloons?"

His voice was low, secretive. "Between you and me, this place needs some cheering up, and balloons are perfect for that." That had made her laugh, and he stayed there with her until she was ready to come out.

Dropping her gaze back down to Bob, she tipped her head. "What do you think, am I good to fight a bit more?"

Bob's eyebrows shot up and then lowered as he considered her question. "You should know the answer to that. How do you feel right now?"

Rose lifted her gaze back to the Doctor, who was straightening up, brows knit in confusion. "The urge to help is stronger then the urge to run."

"I'd say you have your answer then, just remember to stop before the second urge gets too strong." Flashing Bob a full smile she tucked his words in the back of her mind.

Taking a deep breath she started moving forward again towards the Doctor. The two of them were connected by a force that time, danger, and parallel universes seemed unable to break. Yet there was a distance between them, keeping them apart. This distance grew from their choices, pain they had suffered, and their own insecurities. For a moment, at least this one moment, she could breach the gap.

She could see his lips start to form her name in question and she shook her head. "No, don't talk Doctor. Just let me do this. Let me do this for the both of us." Then she whispered low, a single word that made his eyes open wide. "Allons y"

Locking her gaze with his, she looked, looked past the structure of the face, to the person underneath it. She looked for those eyes, the same ancient gaze that had once watched her from behind a piercing blue gaze. When she found it, she stepped forward. Closing her eyes, she wrapped her arms around him as her ear pressed against his chest, listening to his hearts beat.

The Doctor froze, and then tentatively his arms came up around her. She could hear his hearts beating fast, and feel the tension in his body. When nothing happened, his arms tightened around her, just shy of crushing her to him as he buried his face in her hair. She felt the shudder go through his thin frame as he breathed in her scent.

For the Doctor, the past day and half had played havoc on his emotions. When she had gone missing, he had been utterly terrified something had happened to her. They had redoubled their search for the Master, but nothing had been found yet. There was no sign that she had been taken to Naismiths. There was no sign of her at all until that phone call that had rocketed from fear to relief.

He had been holding himself together with fragile threads and memories. That had all threatened to snap, but now he had hope, the hope of her, to help hold it together again. When that had vanished, it threatened everything. It was a very good thing that nothing had happened to her. He wasn't sure how long this hug would last, but he would hold on to her as long as she would let him.

Suddenly a noise cut through them, sharper than any knife. It was the sound of solid metal on something hollow and it echoed. Boom, boom, boom, boom, and then again another pattern of four, boom, boom, boom, boom.

They broke apart, heads snapping in the direction of the sound. Rose took a step back and away from the Doctor, needing the space as a slight tremor went through her frame. That was about as much as she was going to be able to handle for a while.

Donna, who had been watching the emotional roller coaster with hope, was the first to respond. "Oi, who's making the bloody racket out there?"

Her annoyed tone broke some of the tension in Rose as the Doctor took a deep sniff of the air. The noise came again, the same rhythmic booms as he tensed up. "Everyone into the Tardis, please." He glanced to Rose, his expression intent. Do you smell that, the heavy scent in the air, the one that's a bit different?"

Closing her eyes she concentrated on her sense of smell, pulling in a deep breath through her nose. There, she found it, the one that didn't quite belong. It was an unearthly smell, with the traces of time twined through it."

Opening her eyes she nodded at him. "It's a Time Lord, but something wrong."

He nodded gaze focusing back on the horizon, body tensed to run. "Yes, it must be the Master, and I need to go after him. Please, into the Tardis where it's safe."

While Jack knew that there was potential danger, but he wasn't about to let the Doctor run into danger alone. "Let Ianto go with you, this isn't safe."

While they argued, Rose moved over to Wilf. "Get your friends, and get them out of here. This isn't a safe place to be."

"Right-o," Wilf gave her a salute. "I'll tell them some experts are looking into it."

He walked toward the direction of the bus, pulling out a walkie talkie as he went."

"Jack I don't have time to argue, and he won't be able to keep up. Just please, into the Tardis. If I don't find him right away I'll come back. Then we can bring a whole team out here, but for now I've got to try."

Rose nodded, giving Jack and Ianto a nudge in the direction of the Tardis. "Go Doctor, but you better come back safe and sound."

He cocked his head a little, a little spark of life in his eyes, like it had been in the old days. "I'll be seeing you."

Her smile flashed, the memory rising up in her mind. "Not if I see you first."

Then he took off, racing in the direction of the booming noise.


	21. Chapter 21 - Finding the Why

**Rose tries to find answers for her missing time.**

**No real warnings for this chapter, except perhaps for angst! **

**-0-**

_"Jack I don't have time to argue and he won't be able to keep up. Just please, into the Tardis. If I don't find him right away I'll come back. Then we can bring a whole team out here, but for now I've got to try."_

_Rose nodded, giving Jack and Ianto a nudge in the direction of the Tardis. "Go Doctor, but you better come back safe and sound."_

_He cocked his head a little, a little spark of life in his eyes, like it had been in the old days. "I'll be seeing you."_

_Her smile flashed, the memory rising up in her mind. "Not if I see you first."_

_Then he took off, racing in the direction of the booming noise._

_~~~-0-~~~_

Rose had managed to herd everyone into the control room. Their voices were like a dull roar blurring together. She dashed over to the console, fingers lightly flying over keys to bring up information on the monitors. Lightly she moved back and forth, trying to ignore the slight tremor in her hands.

It took her a few moments to realize the roar had stopped, but she felt the eyes on her. Her gaze darted up, bouncing on the concerned faces looking her way. Rose's skin itched, she knew they just wanted to help, but her skin was crawling. A noise caught her attention and she glanced over towards Bob. Maybe he said something, she wasn't sure. She studied his face, looking for something, but she wasn't sure what. Then he gave her a small nod, as if he understood, and was telling her it was okay.

She took one step backwards, then another, before turning to stumble towards the doorway leading deeper into the Tardis. Rose fled the blur of voices. Running from the concern, and anxiety, she just couldn't cope with. Instead she ran away, escaping to a safer place. Down the hallway the door to her room popped open and she took the invitation. The door closed behind her, and locked as she took a breath of relief. "Just, don't let anyone in, okay girl?" The Tardis' reassuring hum sounded as she headed towards the en suite. A nice hot shower, that might help her relax.

Back in the console room, Bob turned to face the others. "Let her go, she's not running out of the Tardis, which is what we would have to worry about." He held his hands up; palms facing the rest "So, let's not panic, and just give her some space."

Jack gave a frustrated look, and then shifted to look at the door to the outside of the Tardis. "Last time she was inside the Tardis before she disappeared, so forgive me if I'm still a bit worried."

Donna's voice carried the annoyance she used to cover up concern. "Well how could she be taken from the Tardis unwillingly, I thought we covered that already. If she wasn't, why would the Tardis let her run off?" As they turned to look at her, she voiced the question that haunted them all. "What could be so bad, that it was better for her to be out of the Tardis rather than in?"

A short time later the Doctor walked back into the Tardis, Wilf following. "I'm telling you, that Minnie needs to learn to keep her hands to herself."

"Who needs to do what now?" Jack's teasing tone had the Doctor flushing.

"Never mind that now. I lost the Master, so we'll need your team Jack." Moving to the console the Doctor starts pulling levers. He takes a quick look around, his voice quiet, "Rose?"

The rest of them exchanged a look, Bob answering. "She needs some time to sort herself out, alone."

Compressing his lips into a thin line, the Doctor moved around the console. "Right, well here we are, back in the hub. Jack, go find your team and figure out who you are going to saddle me with for the next excursion. Make sure they are ready, and not kill happy." His voice was harsh, suppressed emotion forcing the tone out.

Opening his mouth to say something, Jack shut it, and then shook his head. "Right, just don't leave without us." The Doctor didn't answer, just focused on the monitors while Jack and Ianto left the Tardis.

Donna moved over to his side after giving Wilf and Bob directions to the kitchen. She gave him a quick once over, as if debating how to handle him, and then swiftly smacked him on the shoulder. "That was rude; they are trying to help you know."

He rubbed his arm and glared at her a moment before letting that mask fall away. The Doctor gave a sigh, sticking a hand in his hair. "I know they are Donna, it's just …."

She watched him as his voice trailed off. "You have a lot going on in that brain of yours and in your hearts. You have Rose back, but not the way you wanted her to be. Plus whatever that is going on that's threatening things."

Letting his hand drop, he tipped his head back to study the ceiling before answering her. "He's the only other Time Lord out there. The Master did horrible things, and he's unstable, but …."

"But he's the only other Time Lord there is, so you want to help him." His gaze dropped down to her face as she talked to him.

"Yes. If I don't help him, he'll die again. He's burning up his own life force Donna. Something definitely went wrong when they brought him back. I want to help him, if he'll let me." His gaze flicked from her, to the Tardis doors.

She followed his look, and understanding dawned. "You don't know if they'll understand that, because all the things he did?"

Studying the Tardis controls morosely he gave a nod. "I can't blame them Donna, he was, is, a monster, his mind is sick."

"And you want to help him." It wasn't that hard for her to figure that out. He was avoiding the topic of Rose for now. She hadn't forgotten that, but sometimes you tackled things one thing at a time. "I can understand that. You do call yourself the Doctor after all."

He managed to give her a wan smile. "Thank you. Oh I really missed you Donna Noble." He engulfed her in a hug, thankful he had his friend back. "I missed you too Spaceboy."

Back in her room, Rose struggled to find the tattered remains of her calm confidence. She had ducked into the shower, letting the hot water sooth her body, as she tried to sooth her mind. It was far easier to scrub away the dirt and grime from her cross country trip, than it was to wash away the edge of panic hovering in her mind. She felt like a heavy weight was pressing down upon her, one that she couldn't quite identify.

In her nervousness, she found herself starting to sing. It was a song that reminded her of her situation in the other universe, with him. For some reason, having those words actually soothed her. It gave her power over the situation, knowing that somehow, someone understood feelings like those enough to make a song of it. "I am fragile, but I'm strong enough. I am wanted, enemy number one. I am lying, cause I never fell. If you need me, follow me to hell."

God, the chorus of that song resonated in her. There were so many times were she felt that she could break at any moment, yet somehow she endured. She had been pushed to the very edge, and yes pieces of her had shattered, yet she was still here. He couldn't let her go, but at the same time he hurt her, she was his enemy, and it was her own personal hell going through it.

Turning off the shower, Rose knew she was still unsettled, and needed to do something more. Drying herself off, she padded into her room, finding fresh clothes to wear. She then settled, sitting cross legged on the floor leaning back against her bed. Sapphire climbed into her lap, and she petted her little friend, listening to the soothing thrum the fuzzy lizard gave off. With a sigh, she made the decision to try and reach for answers. If she didn't know what set her off, then how could she stop it from happening again? Her hands stilled, and she closed her eyes, slowly descending into the meditative state she had been taught.

Opening her inner eyes, she found herself in her mental interface, the console room to the Tardis. A familiar figure was bent over the controls, a scowl on his face. "You have got to stop stressing yourself out Rose. You are on your way to a full breakdown."

She bit her lip at his words, slowly walking forward. His gaze came up from the controls, and the icy blue eyes softened. "This time it's not your fault, I know, come here."

With those words he straightened up and opened up his arms. She flew into them, slipping her arms around him between the leather jacket and his jumper. He tucked her under his chin and held her tightly as she breathed in his scent. Time was rather meaningless here, so she held on to him, and he let her, until she was ready to go.

When she let go, he turned her to face the console, his hands on her shoulders. "Okay Rose, lets see what you remember. You tell me what you think might have happened."

Rose took a step forward, and his hands fell away as she looked over the monitors displaying information for her. Slowly she sorted through the data, taking glances back at him. "I was asleep when it happened, something disturbed the senses I'm still integrating, and it had a mental component."

He nodded his voice encouraging. "Good start, what else?"

Biting her lip, she closed her eyes in thought. Opening them back up she studied the monitors and her shoulders slumped a little. "Because I was asleep, and because there was a mental component, and because of who helped me to bed, I had a full scale panic attack. I sort of, went on automatic pilot of sorts. Because of my training, it's almost reflexive behavior to use subterfuge in dangerous situations."

Looking back, she could see him there, arms folded across his chest and feet planted. His expression was an encouraging one though. "Dead on, but there is one more thing you are missing. What caused you to run from the Tardis, a place of safety?"

She thought about it, and her face fell. "It was because Jack was here, and to some of my new senses he's just wrong. It was instinctual behavior."

He gave a nod, and wrapped an arm around her for comfort. "And since the Tardis didn't understand exactly what was going on, she let you run off. You could always ask her to not let you if that happens again. It's not your fault you reacted to Jack that way, and it's not Jack's fault. It just is. Matters more what you do with your conscious decisions then your instinct. "

Rose burrowed her face against his jumper. "S'funny, it's so easy to talk to you like this.

She felt the rumble of his chuckle and looked up to his face. "That's because you are partially talking to yourself in a way. Since I am part of your subconscious, I know you better then you know yourself."

He gently drew her away, and turned her to face the controls again. "Now that we have that sorted out, we need to get to the caused it. The why only gets you so far, it's the what that gets you the rest of the way."

Confused she threw her hands up in the air. "I was asleep, how the heck can I figure out what set me off when I was asleep?"

With a strong but gentle touch, he guided her over to the display that was for her mental state. "Because of this, see how your shields are still up thick like that? Whatever is bothering you haven't really gone away. You just exhausted yourself enough for the panic to wear off."

She stared at the screens, biting on the edge of her thumb. "Oh, well that would make sense I s'pose."

"You need to stay calm Rose." His voice rumbled in her ear, and she let out a pent in breath. Panicking would not help anything. She was already on the edge, that's what everything was telling her. A little panic sometimes can be good, but the unthinking panic she experienced earlier was anything but.

She leaned back against him, trying to fit the pieces together in her mind. "Why is this so much harder? Why is this so much worse for me to tolerate?" She waved a hand at the monitors.

When he didn't answer, she bit her lip again, and dug up the answer for herself. "Because I'm more sensitive to anything to do with my mind, those scars, the new senses, going to take a long time to heal."

"An' here is where you are going to run into problems. Because there are things in here that I can't do, and you can't do, so you need to trust someone else to help with. What you are Rose Tyler is unique. You've been developing a Time Lord's physiology, an' I can give you the basics, but you are literally a part of th' Tardis." His voice remained gentle, as she processed what he was saying.

"What does that mean, can't the Tardis help me with that part?" She twisted to look up at him again.

"While Time is not linear, how most folk perceive time is linear. An' you, well you are connected to time in a non-linear fashion. The Tardis perceives time in ways we can just barely comprehend. That's why there is no direct communication really. Your default is going to be to perceive things the way the Tadis does. So your sense of time is more easily disrupted then a true Time Lord's, since to a Tardis, she sees everything at once. Past, present and future, are all perceived as one. However, you are going to feel the ripples, damage, and changes to time much more strongly." He looked down at her, and she could feel the concern in his tone.

What he was saying was starting to make sense though. "So I'll feel that something is wrong, but might not know when it's wrong, because the Tardis perceives everything at once. Or, I might sense nothing wrong at all, because it's supposed to be resolved and everything will be fine. " She was silent for a long moment after reasoning it out. "That's, that's just going to give me a headache trying to work out."

A glimmer of an encouraging smile was on his lips. "An' that is why you need th' outside help. I'm not going to be able to make more sense of it then you are. Only one person that can teach you how to interpret that really, I think you know who I mean."

Rose's gaze turned back to the instruments, her voice soft. "I'm not ready yet to let him in here, not for a long time. So what do I do now?"

His patient voice answered her. "What do you think you should do?"

She scowled, clearly displeased. "You know I really hate answers like that." Her only answer was a deepening of his smile. She sighed and tried to work it out. "So, I need to tell him what I can figure out from the mess, preferably from across the room. Wait, why did I say that, why across the room?"

There was a pause, and she answered herself. "Because anything mental is going to be more likely to trigger a panic attack, so I can't be within touching distance."

His hands gave her a reassuring squeeze on her shoulders. "You can do this Rose, and you need to do it soon. You also need to relax, so, study these for a bit, and then do something to just relax before you go talk to him."

With a nod she studied the instrumentation, feeling his support and approval. Resolve hardened with in her. She was not going to let fear rule her, so she was going to keep moving forward.


	22. Chapter 22 - Memory

**Rose uses a memory to calm herself, which later gives her a clue**  
><strong>-0-<strong>

_There was a pause, and she answered herself. "Because anything mental is going to be more likely to trigger a panic attack, so I can't be within touching distance."_

_His hands gave her a reassuring squeeze on her shoulders. "You can do this Rose, and you need to do it soon. You also need to relax, so, study these for a bit, and then do something to just relax before you go talk to him."_

_With a nod she studied the instrumentation, feeling his support and approval. Resolve hardened with in her. She was not going to let fear rule her, so she was going to keep moving forward. _

~~~-0-~~~

Once she had gotten enough information, Rose retreated from that place, to another sanctuary, her memories. Not the ones of her time in the other universe, but the ones from before she was lost. These were the ones from before the first crack in her soul had appeared. The memories that had kept her strong, at least strong enough to not shatter, they started at run.

Her memories were her treasures that she had horded in her mind. No matter what he had tried, she hadn't let him touch them. They were the strength that allowed her to keep going. Fragments of happier times, when she felt, loved. These shining moments were what she retreated to when things got really bad. When she hurt inside and out, she could close her eyes and find one of these moments. It was one of the reasons she could keep the other separated from the Doctor. His behavior had degraded into something that was completely unrecognizable from her Doctor's.

For the longest time it was also what gave her the fragile hope that he might turn out to be her Doctor. He had these memories too, and she longed for the time when she could look into his eyes and see the Doctor from her memory looking back at her. However after that day in Norway, on that cold windy beach, she saw him looking back less and less. Until he had all but disappeared, and all that was left was the monster.

So she treasured those memories, the ones that started from that one little word, run. Oh they had run so many times during that short time when she was with him. They ran from danger and to it. For joy and sometimes in anger or fear, though mostly there was much joy in the running.

While she could pick a memory from when he wore the leather coat, that wasn't the version of him she was trying to get back to. Instead she reached for a memory that had absolutely nothing to do with running. Instead, oh this time he had taught her how to fly.

He hadn't told her were they were going as he bounced around the console. Instead he had that wide smile on his face and the twinkle in his eyes, the one that promised excitement and wonder. He was rather good at that, and it drew her in every time. It left her breathless, and filled with bubbling happiness. It was part of the magnetism that drew her to him, and bound her to him. The part of her not lost in memories noted that fact, and made a quiet promise, that she would see that again.

This day, he grabbed her hand after they landed, eagerly leading her to the door. She laughed, for his enthusiasm was infections, and that look on his face meant great wonders were about to be unveiled. Then he opened the door and her breath caught in her throat.

The Doctor had brought her to a beautiful low gravity world. The skies were the loveliest shade of pale violet, and the grass a sort of blue green. The trees seemed to spiral into the air, their leaves the same blue green color.

What caught her attention the most though, was the people flying through the air. The natives were similar in build to her, their skin being a color that almost matched the sky. They were dressed in slacks and clothes that draped, showing patterns as they moved. To be strictly honest, they weren't flying as much as they were gliding. The low gravity allowed them to easily push off and perform all kinds of acrobatics in the air. It was a ballet of the skies and everyone was a dancer.

It took a bit for her to catch the hang of it, but the people were kind, and the Doctor was patient. Ever so slowly she mastered the peculiar control required to navigate their skies. One of things burned into her memory was that wonderful feeling of such freedom. The earth had no hold over her then, nor did sorrow, or fear, or anger. It was pure and simple joy, and she saw it reflected in the Doctor's face as he watched her.

Very rarely did she let her mind slip to the next part of that memory. Not because it was bad, on the contrary it was one of her most cherished. However, it could easily tip the balance from remembered joy to tears if it had been a bad day. While it hadn't been the best day here, it wasn't the kind of bad day like it had been there, with him. So instead, this next part could just bring a different kind of joy.

That evening there was going to be a performance of some of the best sky-dancers. They would be wearing special clothes so that their lights would trail through the skies. So of course the Doctor wanted her to see it, and found them a great vantage point.

The performance could be seen from quite far away, so it wasn't like they had to sit among a crowd. Instead the Doctor found a slightly secluded place and they had actually made a picnic of it. They had laughed, swapping stories and basically just enjoying each other's company as they waited.

They watched as the sun sank below the horizon and darkness spread. The spot they had chosen was up against one of the spiraling trees, and while darkness was falling, it wasn't exactly dark. As the light faded, the bio-luminescence of the plants started to glow. It was a beautiful tapestry of pastels in the flowers, in the grass, and parts of the leaves of the trees. In itself it was it was a wonderful show that she exclaimed her delight over. It wasn't enough light to make things bright, they were still cast in semi-darkness.

So when the first of the dancers glided into the sky, they were easy to spot. Even more so than watching the natives in the sky during the day, this was a ballet of light and color. Swirling figures were traced in the sky by lighted ribbons that made up part of their costumes.

She was so enthralled with the show that she hadn't really realized how cold it was getting until she started to shiver. The Doctor started to fuss, and the next thing she knew, she was leaning back against his front, tucked between his legs facing forward towards the show. He had tucked the blanket around them, and anchored his arms around her middle.

Oh she remembered that moment so well, because it had caused another shiver, this one not due to the cold. It was due entirely because of the warmth seeping into her, with him tucked around her. She tried to keep her gaze focused on the dancers in the sky, but that was almost impossible when his face was right there next to hers.

Rose wanted to lean back and close her eyes, but she was afraid it would spoil the moment. So instead she did her best to watch the dancers, and just enjoy being held by him. That day he had helped her to fly, that night, her heart had flown.

When she pulled herself free from the memory, she felt relaxed and more at peace then she had in a while. The memory didn't solve any of her problems, but it did help her remember what she was fighting for. It wasn't just getting back to him; it was also about getting back to herself, to the young woman that had flown. She had faced so many incredible things in her life, and there were more wonders out there to be found. One of the many things she wanted.

Slowly she brought herself back to full awareness, the comforting weight of Sapphire in her lap. Her little friend had kept her company, and gave a soft meep when she saw Rose's eyes opening. With a small smile, Rose placed her on the bed, before stretching. She supposed she should go find the Doctor and tell him what she could.

The third time she passed the door to the kitchen; she got the hint and went in. It had been awhile since she remembered eating, so it wouldn't hurt anything to fix a snack. Stopping in the doorway she paused, remembering her last taste testing adventure she had in here. Thankfully the Tardis had cleaned the whole mess up.

Then she had wanted everything, now she wasn't sure what she wanted. Automatically she started making tea, while her mind tried to settle on something to eat. Puttering around, she opened the door to the refrigerator, when she sensed someone in the doorway. Snapping her head up, she saw the Doctor in the doorway.

Oh this could be good, and bad. Good because she needed to talk to him. It was bad because starting to bubble up under the thin veneer of calm, was the edges of skittering panic. For better or worse she needed to deal with it, with him, so she offered him a small smile. "Hello."

Shoving his hands in his pockets he gave her a small smile back. "Hello, how are you doing?"

Taking a glance over to the stove she nodded. "Making a cuppa, trying to figure out what I feel like eating. Did you want some tea?"

His small smile faded as he watched her. "Welllll that tells me what you are doing, not how. Sure I'd like some tea. How about you handle that and I could put some sandwiches together, would that work?"

Shutting the door to the fridge, Rose moved back towards the teakettle. "That sounds good." She let the silence fall as he moved in towards the kitchen. For a few moments the only sounds were of them going about their respective tasks. Finally she managed to address his earlier question. "M'better, but still a bit shaky, I don't exactly remember what happened, but I can tell you a bit about the why."

The Doctor looked at her, and then his gaze drifted back to his hands as he worked on his task. "I'll take whatever you can tell me, no matter what, anytime. Anyways, you can just focus on what you can say. So, I'm here."

Rose took a moment to gather her thoughts, knowing something she had to say would probably hurt him. He briefly glanced her way when her nerves made her hands shake and the teacup she was trying to fill rattle. Placing both hands on the counter she took a deep breath to steady herself. "S'funny I want so badly for everything to be just fine and for us both to be happy, but I can't get rid of this shaky part. It's like two parts of me are at war. And then I have something pressing on whatever these new senses are, just makes it worse."

When he took a step towards her, she took a step away, keeping the distance between them. He withdrew a little back in the direction he was, putting his head back down to focus on his task. Not before she saw the brief flash of hurt in his eyes, and heard him swallow. "Sorry, m'just too raw right now, best not to touch me at the moment."

He shook his head, keeping his eyes on his task. "No, no, that's quite right; I should give you your space."

Moving towards the table, Rose set his teacup at one end of the table, and sat down with hers at the other. She cupped her hands around her own tea, managing to stay in place when he reached out and set the plate in front of her. He gave her a small smile at her murmured thanks, before ducking his head and moving to the seat she set his tea in front of.

Studying him over the rim of her mug, she gathered her scattered thoughts. Just being around him was an emotional rollercoaster; one that she hoped would even out soon. "So, apparently whatever happened kicked in while I was asleep. It panicked me enough that I could think straight. So I ran. It seems my Torchwood training was pretty through so it was automatic for me to well… "

He gave her an encouraging nod as her voice trailed off. "No I get it, you can go on."

Using a sip of tea to fortify herself she tried to make her body relax. "Whatever is coming, it's really big. To top it off, things are changing. I think me being here has shifted the potential outcomes. What's been making me shaky is I can feel how the change makes ripples in time. Sort of like I'm a giant rock someone threw into a pond."

The Doctor had started to pick up his sandwich to take a bite out of it and stopped as he thought about what she said. "That's a pretty good interpretation actually. I'd have to say that you being here have to have made things better. Because the basic fact is you are here."

Blinking she focused on him, and he cleared his throat looking away a bit flustered. "Anyways you can keep going, I'm listening."

She studied him for a moment, playing with the sandwich in front of her. "The reason I ended up where I did, that was one end of the disturbance that is bothering me. There is something coming, something using, something burning, it is heavy and dangerous."

His thoughts sharpened on that, turning the implications over. "You said using, as in an outside force trying to influence things, or someone?"

Rose nodded with a far off gaze. "Four beats, why that is so important? It is just four beats over and over again."

He stayed quiet, his gaze focused intently on Rose. Something was going on here, she was sorting through what she could sense, and he didn't dare interrupt her train of thought. Not if it would get them answers, not if there was a way to protect Rose.

As for Rose, her thoughts were being tugged back to that memory, back to the memory of leaning back against him. Something about it was important. The patterns in the sky didn't seem to be it. There were no special scents, well other than the fact that the Doctor's was surrounding her. He was so close she could just about hear and feel the beat of his hearts. Wait, the beat of his hearts, a human heart was two beats, a Time Lord's that was four.

Her gaze refocused on him, and the intensity in his look made her breath catch and a tremor go through her hands. With a swallow she forced her way past the sudden spike of fear. "Doctor, four beats, that's your heartbeat. Who would use a Time Lord's heartbeat as a signal?"

Eyes widening, he focused inward for a moment. "But that's not, but who else would, noooo, well maybe?"

She raised her eyebrows as he muttered to himself. His gaze suddenly refocused on hers. "Rose, I have to go back, try again to get to the Master. Please, stay inside the Tardis, he's very unstable, not someone that is healthy to be around."

Hands curling around her mug of tea she gave a small nod. She really didn't need to be around someone unstable, not in her state she knew. Her agreement seemed to release some tension from him and he bounced up from his seat. "Thank you, I'm going to get the team so we can try and get him someplace safe. Do you want me to have someone come get you?"

Shaking her head she made a small shooing gesture. "Go, the sooner this gets resolved the sooner I stop feeling this pressing down on me. I'll be fine. If I need company I got my phone."

He wanted badly to touch her, but managed to refrain from doing more than giving her one long look. "I'll do everything in my power to make things better for you Rose, whatever it takes." When she gave him a nod, he dashed off.

Rose kept her gaze focused on her mug for a long time, before letting out her slow breath. Then she folded her arms on the table and rested her head on them. That burning intense look, he had watched her that same way. She knew the Doctor was different, but it had sent a lick of panic up her spine. It had also caused her hearts to clench.

It was then she realized she was still grieving. She was grieving for a madman that had broken a promise. The trouble is, she wasn't sure which madman and which broken promise she was crying for. As the tears slid down her face, she realized it didn't really matter which. She just needed to grieve and let go of it all. Maybe she couldn't do that today, maybe she couldn't do that tomorrow, but someday, she would. So she let herself burrow her head in her arms, and let the tears fall. She'd take grief over panic, and hope that the tears would help wash the darkness away.


	23. Chapter 23 - Words Can Wound

**Rose talks to the Master, the Doctor talks to the Master, Rose and the Doctor talk.**

**Lots of angst in this chapter, and the Master being his taunting evil self aiming to hurt others with words alone.**

**-0-**

_Rose kept her gaze focused on her mug for a long time, before letting out her slow breath. Then she folded her arms on the table and rested her head on them. That burning intense look, he had watched her that same way. She knew the Doctor was different, but it had sent a lick of panic up her spine. It had also caused her hearts to clench. _

_It was then she realized she was still grieving. She was grieving for a madman that had broken a promise. The trouble was she wasn't sure which madman and which broken promise she was crying for. As the tears slid down her face, she realized it didn't really matter which. She just needed to grieve and let go of it all. Maybe she couldn't do that today, maybe she couldn't do that tomorrow, but someday, she would. So she let herself burrow her head in her arms, and let the tears fall. She'd take grief over panic, and hope that the tears would help wash the darkness away._

_~~~-0-~~~_

She wandered the depths of the Tardis, they had moved at one point and then again, but she didn't want to think about that. Instead she focused on relearning some of her favorite spots, and finding new ones. The halls were thick with the ghosts of memory, many happy memories. There were a few sad and angry ones, but nothing to the scale of that other world.

The Library had been, and still was, one of her favorite places. She didn't even need to close her eyes to see the two of them cuddled up on the couch, the Doctor reading to her. Both versions of him seemed to enjoy that past time. She heard his voice in the rough Northern burr, or in the Estuary accent, sometimes reading out loud until she fell asleep. It was the balm to her weary soul then and now.

People left her alone for the most part, which is good, because that is what she needed. The occasionally someone would check on her, but they went away. If she concentrated, she probably could figure out exactly how long she had been wandering like this, but she chose not to. The passage of time did not always need to be marked. It was not the passage of time that mattered here; it was the healing of her heart and soul.

Rose had been avoiding everyone, until she heard it. It pulsed just on the edges of her senses. Incessantly repeating, four beats over and over again. It was annoying. It was irritating. Something was calling to her, so she followed the sound.

It was second nature to sneak towards her destination. She didn't want company, and she really didn't want someone to try and stop her. There was a feeling that where ever she was going was not something they all would approve of. When she followed it, slipping past everyone to the holding cells, she knew for sure they would not approve. As she got closer there was a thrumming that she heard with her ears, and inside herself. Turning the corner, she saw Bob, seemingly asleep in the chair.

Then she turned to see just what was being held here. His hair was bleached straw blonde, scruff on his face and looking very unkempt. He hadn't noticed her yet, so she took her time to look at him. The stranger was crouched in his cell eschewing the bench in there. A red shirt peeked out under the black hoodie he was wearing, which matched the black jeans and shoes. There seemed to be some sort of machine in there with him, producing energy. Well that would explain the thrumming noise. An empty platter with the scraps of food was on the floor.

Suddenly his head snapped in her direction, dark eyes wide, and a hint of madness lurking in their depths. "What are you?" His nostrils flared his expression incredulous. "You, you certainly aren't human, are you? You smell of time. Are you the Doctor's pet then?"

His choice of words hit a vulnerable spot inside her, and it was then she knew she had to be careful. She had been called that before, among other things. Those words were part of her healing wounds. Yet she needed to not give this madman an indication if his words had scored a hit. He'd only try to use that fact against her. "I'm not the one inside a cage mate."

He reared up, starting to pace inside the small room. Every now and then energy would crackle around him. Something was very wrong here. It was then she noted that there was some sort of cuff locked around each of his wrists. "You are all inside a cage; I just have the most visible one. But you, oh you have something different inside you don't you. **What. Are. You.**"

He had stopped in front of where she was standing staring at her. There was something, something pressing on the edges of her mind. Taking a deep breath, she took concentrated and pushed. Her mental action had a physical reaction in him, and he stumbled back, laughing. "Oh, a tricky one are you, and strong. Why don't you let me out of here and we can really test those skills."

Adopting a casual pose, she leaned back against a wall opposite the cage. She folded her arms across her chest even though inwardly she was shaking. There was an internal tug of war going on, part of her screaming to get out of there, part of her urging to stay. "Naw, I don't really like tests much. What did you do to earn yourself a seat in there?"

Now he sat back on the bench, looking at her with a secret smile. It was the kind of look that taunted that he knew something, and wasn't going to share. "Oh those humans, play a few tricks, cause a few deaths, and they get all upset." He leaned forward towards her. "You know something though? They can be quite, delicious."

This strange madman was trying to get a reaction from her, something, anything, in order to make him feel some sort of control over the situation. He was pressing still, and she could feel the edges of a panic attack hovering. If she ran now, he'd win, and something was telling her that wouldn't be a good idea.

What bolstered her confidence was a slight prickle in her edge of awareness. Bob wasn't asleep now, if he ever was. Yet he was letting her fight her own battles. That gave her a tiny boost of confidence, and settled some of the panic. She trusted her mentor to step in if things went too far.

Studying this stranger, she wove together what she knew. He was trying to get to her, without even knowing who she was. He was slightly off his rocker, alright he was a complete nutter, and he had the scent the Doctor pointed out to her before. So this was the mad Time Lord, and she needed to be careful. However, this was also what drew her here, something about him. Sometimes, if you ask what you really want to know, it can knock a person off balance as much as not asking can. "What is it, those four beats over and over again? What does it mean to you?"

He went utterly still, eyes fastened intently on her. "You can hear it, you can hear the drums?"

Rose held his gaze, keeping her posture relaxed. "I don't think they are drums, but yes, I can hear it."

Then he threw his head back and laughed, doing a mad whirl in his cell. "They're real, they're real, they're real and you can hear my beautiful drums."

She concentrated on trying to keep her body from reacting to him. The white edges of panic continued to hover, and she did her best to tamp them down. "S'not drums mate, it's a heart beat. I hardly think something so painful is beautiful. Someone's torturing you, and trust me, I know torture."

Inwardly she cursed when the last words slipped out of her mouth. She hadn't meant to say that, and hadn't meant to give him an angle to attack her with.

"Do you now?"

He shifted from his delight that she could hear it, to move up close to the barrier between them. Peering intently at her, he studied her like he had just been giving a fascinating new toy. His voice held dark promises. "Why don't you let me out then, and we can have so much fun. I'll show you such wonderful things, the pleasure, the pain." He slammed his hands against the barrier, his face twisting as he shouted. "Let me out, you are nothing, and I'll teach you to call me Master."

Rose dimly registered the sound of a chair scraping against the floor as the edges of her vision started to be rimmed in white. Panic flooded through her as she struggled to retain control. Something warm and comforting and angry all at once was rapidly moving closer as she hung on to her shreds of self.

-0-

The Doctor was in the Hub, glasses on his face as he peered at their computers. He looked over the shoulder of Mickey Smith, before whirling away to pace. They were hard at work, trying to find a trace of the signal that Rose said was there. And there was something there, he could just barely sense the edges of it, if it wasn't for her he wouldn't known about it at all. What was frustrating was the fact the machinery wasn't picking it up at all.

The rest of the crew was working at the bits and pieces needed to try and prevent whatever destruction was headed their way. Martha was in the med lab, treating Ianto for a minor injury that was inflicted on him during the capture of the Master. Donna and Jack were doing their own research and Gwen was taking her break. They had decided to rest in shifts, so an alert team was ready at all times.

It seems that they weren't the only ones interested in the Time Lord. If the Doctor had been alone, they outside force might have the Master in captivity instead of them. There is no way of knowing what would have happened then, but it could have been bad. As it was, the helicopter in the dark had surprised them. If they hadn't had the Tardis so close, they might have lost.

The team of the Doctor, Ianto, Mickey and Gwen just managed to capture the Master, knocking him out and getting him into the Tardis. Not that the Doctor wanted him inside the Tardis at all, which is why he was tucked into a holding cell in the Hub. It was just the safest way to transport him. The Doctor hadn't wanted Jack, Martha, or Rose along. The first two because of what they had already suffered at the madman's hands. The last one, he wanted to protect at all costs.

Quickly the Doctor had cobbled together something to restrain the electrical energy that the Master was using as a weapon. The cuffs locked on his wrists prevented the focused discharge, as well as trying to help stabilize him. The madman was burning up his own life-force, and he wasn't sure how to stop it, but he vowed to find a way.

Mickey looked up from the screen to the Doctor. "I don't know what to tell you boss; I got nothing on any of our scanners."

Turning over the options in his mind, the Doctor came to a decision. Normally he wouldn't do this, but the potential for disaster loomed too large. His fear of people getting their hands on too advanced technology was trumped by that fact. "I'm going to tie the Tardis into your computers, maybe then we can pick something up.

Moving towards the Tardis, he took out his key to unlock the door. They had been taking extra precautions with the Master around. He had thought about moving the Tardis to a second out of time with the rest of reality, but he had wanted Rose to move freely around on her own. So for now they just locked it, and the Tardis stood guard.

When he opened the door, a blue blur dashed between his legs, meeping loudly. Whirling around the Doctor's eyes widened at the level of distress Sapphire was giving off. Something was very, very wrong. He barely remembered to relock the door before dashing off after the tiny creature.

Letting a little of his mental guard down, he reached to sense where Rose was, and then cursed in his native language. He had been trying to respect her need for space as well as time, so had tried to keep the link between them dampened down. Between the realization of where she must be, and the emotion that rang through the link, his fierce protective instincts came into play.

At the tone of his voice Mickey's head shot up to look at him. Mickey caught the edge of the blue blur, and when he saw where they were headed he moved to follow. Whatever was going on, no one here stood alone.

The door slammed open, and to Rose it seemed like a blur of everything happening at once. It was loud, and angry, ever so bright. There was the faint tugging on her clothes as Sapphire swarmed up her body to curl around her neck with a comforting thrum. Both Bob and the Doctor had stepped between her and the madman in the cell. Words were being exchanged, some intense, some calm, and some with mocking laughter.

She felt a small tug on her arm and looked to see Mickey at her elbow, lightly trying to take her arm and guide her out of the cell. "Come on babe, how about you help me with these scans we are doing. I think himself wants to have a word with our guest for a bit."

Rose pulled away from his touch, but shifted towards the door, signaling she would move out. Mickey knew better then to touch her, and instead flashed a reassuring smile, moving slowly to make sure she was following him. There was a faint whine in her ears and the rest of the noise seemed muffled, like it was in a far off distance. The thrum of her own hearts and the sound of her footsteps echoed loudly in her ears instead as she walked away.

Inwardly the Doctor thanked Mickey as he coaxed Rose out of the room. He had no idea why Rose was in here, or why Bob had not sent her away immediately. A part of him seethed about that fact, but now was not the time to focus on it. Instead he faced his childhood friend, who was now was ill in body and mind. "What did you say to her?"

The Master seemed almost gleeful in manner. "So she is your pet, I have to admit she does seem quite tasty with that aura of time around her. What happened, you got so lonely that you tried to turn a primitive into something else?" He made a tisking sound with a gleeful look in his eyes. "For shame Doctor, you could have killed the poor thing."

For a fleeting moment, the Doctor wondered if that is what his duplicate had tried to do. He shoved the idea into the back of his mind for now. Instead he concentrated on what was in front of him. "You know better then that. Right now, you have people trying to help you, and what do you do? You try to hurt them."

Flipping back to enraged, the Master glares at the Doctor. "I didn't ask for their help, and I don't want yours. You don't hear the drums." He hissed, backing away from the barrier. "She can, so you want to help me, than bring her back here, I wasn't done talking with her!"

Eyes narrowed, his mad gaze was filled with hatred. "You won't though will you, your precious humans more important to you then the Time Lords. You don't want to help me, you want to help them."

"That's not true! I want to help both them and you." Tamping down on his anger he forces his voice into calm. "Why won't you let me help you?" He laid his hand on the barrier, an old agony rising to the surface.

"Lies!"

Completely riled up now, the Master was practically spitting. "All of my life filled with lies, only the drums tell the truth."

Before he could reply, Bob gently touched his arm with his fingertips. "Go on, see to Rose. I've got this here."

The Doctor turned a glare down at Bob. "And why should I trust you when you let her be in here with him?"

Bob just gave him a small smile. "Because she trusts me, sometimes you need to face a monster just to prove to yourself that you can."

Wordlessly, the Doctor stared at him, and then whirled on a heel, leaving the strange man and the madman behind him. Though if pressed he wasn't sure that they weren't both mad. Instead he focused on trying to keep his anger tamped down. He was furious and scared all at once. Rose was so fragile, who knew what kind of harm a master of manipulation could have done to her mind.

When he reached the hub, he saw her sitting at a desk with Mickey. She had a cup of tea in hand, and several of the team was around her at a respectful distance. It seemed the confrontation had leaked through the building and attracted their attention. For the moment he just saw her. He only saw her, the only one to have ever lodged so deeply into his hearts.

He tried to keep his anger down as he approached her. Several people stepping back to give them space. "Rose, you need to stay away from him. He's capable of manipulating people and getting them to do things, and he's completely twisted."

A tiny spark shone in her eyes as she raised her chin and looked up at him. "M'not going to stay away from him and you don't get to make that decision for me. He's a part of this, a part of what might hurt everybody, and I have a right to be involved."

A distant part of him sat up and cheered at seeing that spark. That was the Rose Tyler he knew, defiant and standing up for what she believed in. However he really cursed the timing, and her choice of what to make a stand on. His hands balled up at his sides as he continued to fight to stay calm. "I'm only trying to protect you here, just ask Martha or Jack what he is capable of."

Though her hands trembled slightly, the spark in her eyes grew stronger. "You don't think I know what someone like him is capable of? I lived with someone for twenty years whose behavior spiraled downwards into a monster."

"And he **broke** you!"

_"You think I don't know that?!" _

His angry outburst was met by hers as she hurtled her mug across the room where it shattered on the wall. He started at her, aghast at himself. "Rose, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that." He took a step towards her, and his heart twisted when she took a step back. Sticking his a hand in his hair, his voice was half plea. "Rose I'm not him, no matter how angry or upset I get, I'm not going to hurt you."

Her eyes shimmered with tears she tried to hold back. Her voice was harsh in counterpoint to her wavering sight. "I know you aren't him, but I spent two years with you, three fighting my way back to you, and then twenty with him. He had your face, your voice, so it's going to take awhile before I can change how I react."

The hub was completely silent as they confronted each other. When the Doctor didn't respond, Rose continued. "You did mean to say that, there are a lot of things we need to say to each other. You may not want to hurt me physically, or with your words, but the fact remains that you did do something that hurt me far more than anything he ever did. You left me on that beach. _You left me behind_ because **you** thought it would be better for me, without talking to me about it. That's something we both are going to have to deal with, because we can't move on until we do."

Turning, Rose started to walk away, now dry eyed as the Doctor started. Pale faced he started towards her only to be stopped by Martha's hand on his arm. "You need to let her go Doctor."

His voice was slightly hoarse and heavy with emotion as he watched Rose's retreating back. "That's part of the problem Martha, I'm always letting her go."


	24. Chapter 24 -Opening the Hearts

**The Doctor reaches out to Rose in the only way he can think of, by opening up his hearts.**

**Some angst in here, as the Doctor and Rose share emotions.**

**A bit of a short chapter, buuuuut I think you will forgive me with the content. **

**-0-**

_Turning, Rose started to walk away, now dry eyed as the Doctor stared. Pale faced he started towards her only to be stopped by Martha's hand on his arm. "You need to let her go Doctor."_

_His voice was slightly hoarse and heavy with emotion as he watched Rose's retreating back. "That's part of the problem Martha; I'm always letting her go."_

_~~~-0-~~~_

Inside, the Doctor was torn. A part of him wanted to run after her. Part of that was the desire to comfort her. The other part was to prove he had no intention to leaving her anywhere, or letting her walk away. Yet, he needed to respect her need for space right now. He shouldn't, and wouldn't, force his presence on her in any way. To do so would undermine any progress they had made.

When Sapphire's head poked through Rose's hair to look back at him, it occurred to him he had a third option. It was not without its own set of risks. However if he went about it carefully, he just might have a way to connect and prove himself. He couldn't physically follow her, but the two of them were connected. Even with her shields fully up, he could at least send emotion. Sometimes words, words just got in the way. When you could communicate with feelings, while it may be confusing at times, it was very honest.

Just as he made up his mind to try it, Donna approached him, putting a hand on his arm. Somewhat distractedly, he looked at it, then up to her face. Pasting a smile on his face he tried to reassure her. "I'm alright."

The look she gave him was both sympathetic, and skeptical. "Sure you are spaceman."

Letting the fake smile drop, he reached to place his hand over hers. "I'll be alright, just give me a minute, okay?"

She gave him a searching look and then nodded stepping away. "If you start brooding too long I'm going to come back and drag you out of it."

This time the smile he gave her was at least a little real. "Blimey I can't get away with anything with you around can I?"

With a cheery grin, she started to saunter off. "Now you are getting it, so don't even try anymore."

Shoving his hands in his pockets, he moved off to take a walk outside. It would help make sure no one bothered him while he gave this a try. Making his way outside also gave him a few more moments to collect his thoughts.

The team watched him go, before turning back to their work. As essential as solving the problem was, their friends were even more important to them in this moment. After all, things like this are what they all fought for, sacrificed for.

Collecting his thoughts, the Doctor realized words, words were easy. Words could be cheap or expensive depending on how you used them. They could easily flow, one atop the other, and not really mean anything. The wrong ones could cause you to loose things, people, basically anything and everything you held dear.

Emotions were far scarier, and something the Time Lords seemed to try to stomp out. They looked down upon emotions, thinking themselves above such things. After all the evolved had intellect, and logic to guide their actions. Even as a rebel and an outcast, his first response was to bury his own important emotions, because emotions made you vulnerable. So deliberately reaching for, and projecting them to Rose, wouldn't be easy. It would leave him feeling far more open and vulnerable than saying anything, ever could. He just had to peel them back, one layer at a time.

When he was ready, he focused on the bond between them, making sure to keep his own shields up. Then he gave, well the best way to explain it would be the mental equivalent of clearing your throat. That would help to get someone's attention to indicate you wanted to talk. Or in his case, gently ask for their attention and permission to communicate.

He got back a sense he startled her a little, and had her very wary attention. Rose wasn't used to this kind of communication. While he could tell she wasn't exactly comfortable with it at the moment, she was at least open to it. So this was his chance, his moment to prove to her he meant every confession, to start to prove what they could have.

Deliberately, he left the emotional channel wide open, so she could pick up on everything he was doing. The Doctor had been closed off for so long. So deliberately exposing his emotions made him feel more naked then stripping in the middle of a crowded football stadium ever would. The topmost layers of his emotions were of course his regret for upsetting her, and his fierce protectiveness.

Those were things she already knew, could easily pick up on, but the vulnerability there was something he usually tried to hide. That emotion, more than the other two, had her relaxing her guard slightly. The wary feeling coming from her was gone, a kind of still waiting in place. Under it all he could dimly sense her rolling emotions, but she wasn't projecting the way he was. Allowing her to see him being vulnerable opened a crack, which in itself wasn't enough. Not to really have the effect he wanted, but he wasn't done yet. That crack would let him go from just simple emotion, to adding images, memories really.

Continuing to wander, hands stuffed in his pockets, he steeled himself as he struggled to bring up his deeper emotions. He didn't have to go too far to bring up the next one. Though the emotion in itself needed a slight bit of context, so he sent brief images to her to help explain what it meant. The first was his point of view of her, so pale leaning in her corner and the Master, in his cage. The next ones were things he tried to keep buried from the year that never was. The Master's cruelty and madness, the people he hurt, the damage to the earth, overlaid with his own fear, and need to keep her safe.

That struck a cord within her. She had her own madman to deal with, and while he didn't send the worst of the images, the impressions were there. He could sense the shiver through her, and her emotions as she grasped it. In that moment, she understood why he reacted the way he did. He wasn't exactly excused for it, that he could tell, but she accepted the why.

Then, she projected her emotions to him, along with images. Self doubt, inadequacy fears, a need to prove her worth so strong that he could taste it. It was all iron and copper, metallic and salty with traces of tears. It was the image of the chav from the Powel Estates with no A levels. It was in the simple shop girl that had to be rescued from window shop dummies.

It didn't stop there; it went on to the images where he left her behind. He saw her memory of emergency program one from the Game Station. Then he saw the elevator doors closing in front of her at the hospital on New Earth. There was the image of him jumping through the mirror into France, and then the mirror shattering. The most heart rending memory of all, the Tardis fading away, leaving her behind on the beach in Norway.

The Doctor nearly staggered at the impact of it, and his feet turned automatically back towards the Hub. He knew she wasn't using it as a weapon, but as her honest feelings, and that made the impact even greater. It was his actions that set up the doubt of her self worth. He couldn't, wouldn't hide that response from her.

Yet he could also show her how wonderful she really was, how brilliant. So, he let her see his pride and amazement in her brilliance. First, he showed her bravery in swinging on the chain to save him from the Nestine, and then the joy at her choosing to come with him. Then he showed more images, memories, flicking through them because there were so many. Images like her standing between him and the Dalek in Utah, the golden glowing goddess of time that came back for him at Satellite Five. There were more, her standing up to the Sycorax, figuring out it was the TV's in the 1950's, saving him at the 2012 Olympics.

Once he opened the door, he couldn't stop the flow, or stop the shift that happened next. It was the shift from his memories and emotions of pride, to his soul shattering grief. He went from the pride of her finding her way back to him, to the devastation of leaving her behind. It simply flowed from his memory of her finding him.

That raised the darker side of his emotions, the bleak despair and loneliness. The images from his point of view of the door closing at the beach of Norway and the accompanying, crushing, grief. There was the memory of him, sitting on her bed, in her empty room that seemed so cold without her. He was standing in the darkened console room, soaked from the rain, and nearly bowed under by his loss.

Emotions swamped him; this was why he tried to keep them buried and under wraps so he wouldn't be disabled by it. This time he had let them loose, let go of his control. Unable to walk, he sank down onto a bench, burying his fingers in his hair and his elbows resting on his knees.

When this had started, Rose was in the Tardis, pacing in the console room. If anyone had entered she likely would have left, but no one had yet. So when he got her attention, she was still there. Standing stock still, she let his emotions flow over her, responding in kind.

Something, something still held her back, because she was afraid. His double would have taken any vulnerability shown, and used it to try and shatter or control her. So it was too ingrained in her to bury, and hold back. Yet, she could feel him opening himself up to her in a way he never truly had before. That fact, made that wall, start to crack.

When his grief hit her, she found her feet moving. Heading out of the Tardis she waved off the people that looked up to her. She vaguely recalled them asking, and her assuring them, she wasn't going far she just needed to go out. Surprisingly they let her without much of an argument, or an escort. Even Sapphire seemed to understand something was up. She detached herself from Rose, and darted off to find Jack or Gwen.

Once outside, she didn't hesitate, she didn't need directions, she simply started walking. The emotions that flowed, and the bond between them, drew her to him more surely then the most sophisticated homing beacon. It didn't take long for her to be standing in front of him. She reached, lightly touching the back of one of his hands.

For his part, the Doctor didn't start, but was surprised when he felt the warmth of her touch. Pulling his hands out of his hair he looked up at her, before pushing to his feet. He held his hands loosely at his side, longing to enfold her in them, but even greater was the desire to protect her. He couldn't, wouldn't make a move that he knew might push her away or cause her pain. His emotions were wide open to her still, so she caught that, and the deep love and longing under it.

Staring up at him, her walls were trembling threatening to fall, and then she saw something that made them crumble. The Doctor never cried, she had never seen tears on his face, not even when she comforted him in the past from nightmares. Yet now, here, she saw tears on his face. He wasn't sobbing, it wasn't a downpour, yet those few tear drops were more effective then anyone else's outward display of emotion.

Rose's walls simply fell, and she enfolded her arms around him. She could feel his own come around her, pulling her tightly into himself. Her cheek pressed into his chest, and she was tucked under his chin. The bond between them swelled, and it wasn't just emotions and flickers of images anymore. It surged with shared grief, and pain, the gaping emotional wounds they both had. Then, it shifted yet again, for under the grief was the love and longing.

It was the utter sense of completeness and connection that many strive for, and few are lucky to find. Some feared it, even the Doctor himself feared it, and in this state he couldn't hide that fact from her. Yet to let it go once you had found it would be to destroy yourself. She was the light in his darkness, and the air so he could breathe. It was harder to put into words what he was to her, other then the utter surety that this is where she belonged. He had brought color to her world, expanding her horizons, and giving her the strength she didn't know that she had.

This didn't fix everything, it couldn't. The damage was too great to be washed away in a single moment however powerful. They both had demons they still needed to face. She still had to work past the trauma of what had been done to her. There would be days still ahead where she could barely stand to be touched.

For this moment, however, that shadow fell away from them. They were two lost souls who were finding wholeness in the only way they could, together. It was a step forward that they could build on. What connected them now ran deeper then any words, or thoughts. It was simply the Doctor and Rose Tyler, as it should be.


	25. Chapter 25 - Progress

**Some Conversations are had, some progress is made.**

**Not too heavy of a chapter, some nice moments to enjoy. **

**-0-**

_This didn't fix everything, it couldn't. The damage was too great to be washed away in a single moment however powerful. They both had demons they still needed to face. She still had to work past the trauma of what had been done to her. There would be days still ahead where she could barely stand to be touched._

_For this moment, however, that shadow fell away from them. They were two lost souls who were finding wholeness in the only way they could, together. It was a step forward that they could build on. What connected them now ran deeper than any words, or thoughts. It was simply the Doctor and Rose Tyler, as it should be._

_~~~-0-~~~_

Jack kept his eyes on the monitor, a small smile playing across his lips. There on the screen, the image of the Doctor lifted his hand to caress the side of Rose Tyler's face. They shifted slightly, and his head bent down so their foreheads were touching. It was a moment that warmed his heart, and gave him hope for their future. Not that he had much of a doubt of it in the first place. If there were ever two people meant for each other, it was the Doctor and Rose Tyler.

"Now isn't that a pretty sight." Gwen's voice came up from behind him, her words almost musical in her welsh accent. A smile was on her lips as she looked from the monitor, to Jack, and back. "I take it that is why you didn't send anyone after Rose?"

He gave a nod, keeping his own eyes on the monitor. "I thought that might happen. The two of them have a magnetic connection. Plus there was a chance they were talking in a way we couldn't pick up on." When she reached his side he draped an arm around his friend. "Maybe the blow up did them some good, got things out in the open they needed to say."

Gwen leaned into Jack a bit, enjoying his steady strength. Jack was the person that felt like was always supposed to be her friend, to be there. If she had to choose between her husband Rhys and Jack, well in a way she already had. So she had done her best to be there for Jack. She had seen how much Rose's pain had hurt him. So seeing the Doctor and Rose together like that made her happy. Not just for them, but for Jack as well. "When this is done, will she leave with him?"

His shoulders tensed a moment, and then relaxed. "Yeah, the Tardis is home to her, and so is the Doctor."

She expected that, but there was a question that worried her more. "Are you going to leave with them?"

Jack was silent for a heartbeat before he answered. "No, not now, well I may go on a trip with them from time to time if they ask. I'm needed here, and if I know Rosie, she'll make the Doctor come back and visit us. We're her family too.''

Thoughtfully she studied the pair on the monitor. "They've both been through such terrible things, I'm glad they have each other."

Looking over to Gwen, Jack flashed his smile. "So am I."

She smiled back at him, and then cleared her throat. "Anyways, I have been talking to Lucy, and something she said gave me an idea. There was a network Saxon used to influence people right?"

Expression going still as he thought, Jack nodded his head. "Yes, it was something to get into people's heads, why?"

"That's what she was saying. I was thinking, what if the reason we can't pick up the signal, is it's using something we don't normally scan for. He is hearing it right inside his head, right? Maybe if we have the technology he used, we could find it." Gwen slowly paced out her thoughts, watching Jack's face.

Jack's expression went from thoughtful, to bright with hope. "You know that just might work. The satellites were taken down, but we have one of them here. We can get Mickey working on it right away. That's a great idea Gwen."

-0-

To the Doctor and Rose, it seemed like they were in their own little bubble of the universe. There it was peaceful, quiet, and there was nothing to get between them. They basked in the warm wash of emotions flowing between them, neither wishing to pull apart. Once they did, they knew that harsh reality would invade.

Walls would come up; ones that they both knew were still there. They both had them, and it would take more than a moment's work to bring them down for good. The Doctor had his long and deep seated fears. Some of those were that if he truly let himself love, he would lose the one he did love, and it would break him.

Other fears were that he was too dark, if she really saw him, she'd be horrified and rightly so. However the last one, that one was faltering. After all, Rose had a version of him that did truly horrible things, and to her. Things he couldn't ever imagine doing. Maybe it was time to let go of that fear, past time.

All those things were running through his mind as he lightly caressed the side of her face. He was hyper aware of her every reaction, and ready to pull away the moment she needed him to. The moment that he hoped wouldn't come soon. He'd be content just standing there with her like that for a long time.

When Rose started to pull back slightly, he gave a small sigh and let her, pulling back slightly mentally. It surprised him when there was a flicker of panic and her mind gripped his tightly. "Shhh, it's okay. I'm not going anywhere, can't really now. We're linked in a way. Weeeelll not that I would want to go, I'm just saying you don't have to worry about me going anywhere. No matter where we are, where we go, there is a piece of me there inside your hearts and your mind." He soothed her mentally and verbally, easing the sudden panic. His hand slipped down to wrap around her again.

As his words penetrated she blinked and looked at him, searching his gaze. It was an echo, an echo she had heard not that long ago. With slight wonder she put one hand up between his hearts. "It really is you, isn't it? It's always been you, trying to keep me safe."

"I'll always protect you Rose." A long ago conversation from when he wore the leather jacket flashed in his memory, and made him smile. "I'm signing up; you are stuck with me now."

"Stuck with you? That's not so bad." The second memory hit them both, and the words echoed between them, the words echoing mentally so the Doctor didn't really need to respond verbally

_~Yeah? ~_

_~Yes.~ _

Her expression morphed into something sterner, as she brought her hand up to point her index finger at him. "But, you can't go making any more decisions for me Doctor." Rose's expression softened as she continued. "I get you don't want me to get hurt, that you want me safe. I want me safe too, but I need to live. Sometimes that means taking risks."

The Doctor glanced to the side, breaking their gaze for a moment before looking back to her, swallowing. "I know, and I can't promise you that I'll always be okay with that, I'll always try to protect you. You are far too important to me to ever risk losing again." He reached up to caress the side of her face with his fingertips again. "But I can promise to try, to let you do what you need to."

"Just as long as we run together Doctor, and not apart," Rose reached up to take his hand in hers.

"Now that Rose Tyler, I can definitely promise you that. Except for when it involves hopping. Or there may be some jumping involved, we have had to jump, walk, and maybe swim. Blimey, have we tried swimming for our lives yet? Now there is some work." His got this intent look on his face, and his gaze was fixed a bit off in the distance as he thought it over.

Rose, just started to laugh. "That is so you, I missed it. I think I'll skip the swimming for our lives though."

He lightly squeezed her hand, smiling into her eyes. "Whatever happens Rose, it will be brilliant, because we will do it together."

Clearing his throat his gaze flicked in the direction of the Hub and back to her. "How about we go and check on the lot back there? Who knows what sort of trouble they'll get into without us?" There was a slight edginess to his frame as he tugged her hand.

Turning her head towards the hub, she took a moment to look at it, before returning her gaze to his face. "Yeah, but watch with the name calling Time Lord."

Holding one hand up to his chest he gave her an affronted look as they started to walk. "Me, why would you think I would do that?"

She rolled her eyes a smile in her face. "Oh I don't know, how about how you used to call humans apes, Mr. Rude-and-not-Ginger?"

"Rooooose I haven't called anyone that in ages." He gave a sniff as he protested, dropping his free hand down from his chest.

Cheerfully she swung their linked hands. "Maybe not, but you still are plenty rude."

Dropping the affronted look he grinned at her. "That's why I have you, I'm the rude one and you are the nice one."

Lightly she swatted his arm. "Just because I'm around doesn't give you permission to be rude you know."

"At least you don't hit as hard as Donna." The Doctor half muttered that as he rubbed his arm.

"Oi, I didn't hit you that hard, you are lucky it wasn't my Mum." And just like that the playful air vanished, and Rose's thoughts went dark.

It was both disconcerting and utterly fascinating for the Doctor. He could almost literally see and feel her mind darken with the taste of sorrow and worry. With slow caution, he reached to mentally caress the link between them, offering care and support. A part of him hovered between the need to help her, and the need to make sure he didn't go too far. "You miss her."

Rose took a deep breath, and then she seemed to almost pick up that darkness and set it to the side. "Yeah, I do." Not to push it down or ignore it, but more to set it aside for later.

The Doctor marveled in her ability to do so, and bring back the lighter parts of herself. He let that admiration slip through to her. At the same time he kept the part of him that was absolutely giddy about the increased strength of their bond, carefully under wraps. He reached up to tug on his ear. "If you want to talk about it, I'm here, whatever you want to talk about really, and whenever."

She gave him a brief smile, and a trace of it even reached her eyes. "Thanks, but not now. I think I need a break from heavy emotions for a bit."

With a nod he gave her a playful shoulder bump. "If anyone can understand that it's me. So, how about we make sure we aren't needed and then maybe go for some chips?"

Rose bumped his shoulder back, her smile a bit stronger. "I'd like that. Hey whatever happened at Naismith's?"

"Oh that, well it ended up being pretty simple really." He flashed his grin at her as he explained. "He had some Vinvocci tech that was used to heal whole planets. Could be dangerous in the wrong hands, but there was a Vinvocci salvage team hiding out there just trying to get it repaired before they hauled it off. They were wearing a shimmer so they could hide because weeeelllll, he might have gotten suspicious of employees with green skin and spikes all over. It was rather ingenious of them really. They were hiding in plain sight, and getting Naismith to help fix it."

"Hang on, so there were cactus people hiding there and it was their technology?" Amusement laced her tone as she looked up at him, barely noticing they had just about reached the hub, and were making their way inside.

"Yep! Between Mr. Mickey and I, we helped them fixed it, so they're going to be transmatting it up to their ship. By helping them I mean I told them how to fix it once they transmit it out, and prevented Mickey from breaking anything. Torchwood is going to be keeping a careful eye on Naismith from now on." The Doctor glibly continued, completely ignoring the fact they were now inside the hub.

"Oi, I did more than that Doctor. If you are so smart, why don't you use your big Time Lord brain over here to help me fix this?" Mickey's indignant call came from across the room.

Pulling the glasses out from his inside pocket, the Doctor settled them on his face. Peering at what Mickey was doing, he refused to let go of Rose's hand so she went over with him. "What's all this then?"

On a table by the computers there was a bulky object, looking almost half disassembled. Mickey and Jack were working on it, while Gwen sat at the computer monitor. It was Gwen that answered him. "It's one of the satellites from the Archangel Network. Jack had one in storage, or most of one. It was my idea that maybe whatever the signal is was something our usual sensors couldn't pick up. So maybe something specific to that Master bloke would."

The Doctor's whole face lit up at the end of her explanation. He finally let Rose's hand go as he pulled out his sonic, helping the two men with the equipment. "Oh that's just brilliant. You are good Gwen Cooper. This might just give us exactly what we need. If I just adjust things here and here …."

The two men shot amused looks at each other as the Doctor trailed off as he worked. He bounced from the table over to the computer monitor when he was done. "May I?" Gwen got up, letting him take a seat.

His fingers flashed over the keyboard for a moment, before leaning back to press the last few keys with some flair. "There and there, that should do it. Let's see what got hmmm? Where are you …ah-hah!"

As the new scanning technique engaged, something hit the atmosphere, streaking across the sky to land. It was something that pulsed a repeating pattern, of four beats. Over and over it pulsed, the pulse being picked up, by the remnants of the Archangel network.

"It is coming."

Everyone's head snapped in Rose's direction. Her eyes were wide and unseeing, hints of gold laced with red starting to shimmer in their depths. "They are coming, coming to burn and bleed and break time. They are coming."


	26. Chapter 26 - of Prophecy and Madmen

**Or, what Rose sees, what the team finds, and another conversation with the Master.**

**-0-**

_As the new scanning technique engaged, something hit the atmosphere, streaking across the sky to land. It was something that pulsed a repeating pattern, of four beats. Over and over it pulsed, the pulse being picked up, by the remnants of the Archangel network._

_"It is coming."_

_Everyone's head snapped in Rose's direction. Her eyes were wide and unseeing, hints of gold laced with red starting to shimmer in their depths. "They are coming, coming to burn and bleed and break time. They are coming."_

~~~-0-~~~

"Rose," the Doctor's voice was hoarse as he moved towards her. Each step was slowed, as if he were wading in mud. "Tell me what you see, please."

Her gaze slid towards him, almost focusing on his face, but he could see her eyes dilate and narrow. "Time is being written and rewritten all at once. I can hear it coming, the four beats of life and destruction. There are still timelines that could continue on, but Time is burning, and it hurts." A tear slipped free tracking down her cheek as she talked.

The Doctor kept a tight leash on his emotions. Later on, he might acknowledge what he was feeling but right now Rose needed him. "Then block it out Rose." He caught her hand, keeping his voice calm. "Let go of it and come back to me. I'm right here with you, just shut it down. It's just like closing your eyes; close down what you are seeing. You don't need it right now."

"But you are wrong." Her voice was gentle in rebuke, a sad smile on her face. "I do need it, to protect time, and to protect you. It's just so confusing. I can't sort it all out."

Her eyes slide shut and her brows furrow in concentration. The Doctor's hand reaches up, almost of its own accord to skim his fingers over her cheek. "What I care about, is that you are safe."

Rose's eyes open again, still filled with the swirl of gold and red. "But I'm not safe Doctor, none of us are. Everything is still at risk and she's trying to warn me, but the roar of time is too loud. So she reached out to the open mind of an old soldier. When the warning comes, listen. You must listen and understand."

Suddenly Rose went limp, her eyes closing again as the Doctor caught her. "Rose," the Doctor called out in a voice of concern. She quickly managed to open her eyes, this time they were clear of the glowing gold and red. "M'fine, just need a mo'."

Effortlessly he scooped her up; moving to settle her in a chair. A warm presence by his side caused him to look up into Martha's concerned face. He refocused his gaze on Rose, taking in the pinched look of pain across her expression. "Do you have a headache? What am I talking about of course you do."

Martha's gaze flicked to the Doctor's face as he talked, before returning to study Rose. "How about I get something for that, and before you say it, I know, no aspirin."

The Doctor was left with his mouth partially opened as Martha started, and then smiled. "Thanks Martha, I think that would help."

As she left Rose gave the Doctor a pained smile. "I'll be alright; you go help them find whatever tripped this off."

"But Rose ….."

She shook her head at him, only wincing a little at the movement. "I'll be fine, and this needs to be solved. The sooner it gets figured out, the less chance I'll see all that again, yeah?"

The muscles in his jaw flexed as he studied her, before a relaxed air wiped the movement away. "Absolutemundo … oh, don't let me say that again." At Rose's small giggle he pressed a kiss to her forehead before standing up. "Alright, what have we got here?" His voice faded into the background for her as he walked off.

There was a small meep at her feet, and a tugging on the leg of her trousers. Looking down she saw her tiny friend looking up at her. With a faint smile she scooped Sapphire up, boosting the fuzzy lizard into her accustomed perch around her neck. She was petting her little friend when Martha came back with a couple of pills and a glass of water.

Gratefully she took the pills, popping them in her mouth before taking the glass. Swallowing the water down, she gave Martha a smile as the other woman pulled a chair over and sat down. "How are you feeling, really?"

"Well," Rose expression shifted as she considered the question. "I feel like I have a massive hangover, without getting to do the fun part of drinking first."

Martha winced in sympathy. "Ouch, not much fun, my guess is you are getting quite the mental work out."

With a rueful smile Rose nodded, her hand reaching back up to stroke Sapphire as she talked. "Sounds about right, it's all this massive bits of information that all the sudden I can perceive. Stretching parts of my brain, the new bits I mean."

They both looked up as someone approached them. Rose took a deep breath in, the familiar scent of tea teasing her nose. Her wide smile appeared as she looked up at Ianto. "You are very good at that."

Handing her and Martha each a cup of tea, fixed just the way they liked it; he gave Rose a small smile. "Making tea? Well, I've had enough experience with you around. You even showed me some tips."

Rose shook her head, her smile widening a bit more. "Taking care of people, tha' is what I mean. You are really good at knowing what people need. In fact, there is something I need from the two of you."

Martha and Ianto exchanged expressions of confused concern as Rose put her tea down. She reached for each of their hands, her voice pitched low. "M'fine for now, but what's coming, I might get tangled up in, and that's dangerous. I think there is someone trying t'help, and I saw Wilf, Donna's Grandfather. You need t'talk to him, and I think I know why."

Rose's gaze went sharp, almost piercing as she transferred her gaze between the pair. "All of us, we have some sort of physic training on shielding, have to have it working here. So whoever is trying t'issue the warning can't get to us because we're more closed off. They settled for someone close to one of us, and open."

Martha nodded slowly, faint puzzlement clouding her features. "That makes sense, but why tell us, why not tell the Doctor? You sent him away just now so he wouldn't hear this didn't you?"

Giving them a small sad smile, Rose picked her words carefully as she explained. "Because he needed a puzzle to sharpen his mind, and emotion can cloud it. It's why I think he tries to push strong emotions away or aside, because they can cloud his thinking. Good, bad, any strong emotion or complete lack of can gum up the works. His big Time Lord brain was trained away from handling emotion."

Thoughtful, Ianto nodded. "And you are expecting him to get emotional about whatever the warning is."

Although it was a statement, and not a question, Rose nodded. "Yeah, So I need you two to find out what, an' keep it quiet."

"Rose, if it puts you in danger…" Martha's voice trailed off as Rose gave her a fierce look. "He needs to keep thinking clearly. I'll trust your judgment on this, tell who you think should know and when."

Turning her head, Rose watched the Doctor, smiling a little at the manic grin on his face. His head shifted and his smile got a bit bigger as his eyes met hers. "M'not the only one healing here, he is too."

Martha nodded as Rose released their hands, and reached for her tea. "Alright, just remember, this was your idea." A bit of humor danced in the darker woman's eyes.

"Oh don't worry." Rose's voice was cheerful. "I have an idea he's going to hate which should distract him plenty. Once he gets that tracking thing worked out."

Ianto gave her a slightly horrified look as he straightened up. "Well, at least you are warning us."

Rose laughed and shooed them both off. "I'll be fine, go ahead and do what you need to." Reluctantly they left her, as she sipped her tea and watched the Doctor.

She couldn't help the small smile that graced her face as she watched him at his mad dance. There was nothing he liked better than a chance to prove how brilliant he was. Those were some of the moments that he shone brightest. He wove things together from bits of information in a whirl of words and movements, often taking a moment to recognize when someone else did something clever. Sapphire's muzzle rubbed against her cheek as she sat there, enjoying this moment laced with the thrill of solving a puzzle.

It was then she realized the thrill wasn't all hers; it was coming from him as well. The link between them was strengthening, the more they reached for each other. She would need to learn how to strengthen and dampen that down as well. Inwardly she sighed and hoped that eventually she'd come to an end of the new capabilities to adjust to.

There was some sort of exclamation of triumph, and then people started to scatter. Mickey and Gwen were headed in one direction. Jack was headed back to his office. The Doctor was headed for her. She couldn't see Ianto anymore, and Martha much to Rose's satisfaction was pulling Donna off to the side. She tried to keep her focus on the Doctor though, so he wouldn't note any distractions. "Figured it out did you?"

His bright grin flashed as he grabbed the chair to sit down next to her. The Doctor carefully watched her as he casually reached over to entwine their fingers. "Yep," Rose had to grin at the way he popped the p.

"When we activated the new system to sweep for a signal, it must have triggered something. Whatever was broadcasting the signal has crashed down, not too far from here actually. Some of them off to get it and bring it back." When she didn't react negatively he gave a small smile, pulling their joined hands towards him.

Studying him, Rose's brows lowered, not because of his actions but because of what he was saying. "Hang on; you aren't going to go with them?"

"No, they can retrieve it and bring it back here. I think they are more than capable of doing that on their own. I hope." Putting her finished tea down, she lightly swatted him.

"They are more than capable of doing that Doctor." Rose huffed at him a little.

"Weeeeeeellll it is Torchwood after all, maybe they do need a minder." Lazily he smiled at her.

"Oi! I've been working here for months, so watch it." Though her words were offended, she couldn't help the small smile as they were slipping into the easy banter they used to have.

In perfect accord with one another at the moment, they just grinned at each other. "Besides you are so jeopardy friendly that looking after you is a full time job in itself."

"Don't I know it." Jack's voice caused the pair to look up, and he grinned as Rose scowled at the two of them.

"More like hopeless the lot of you are without me. You'd be falling apart if I wasn't here to keep you in line." Though her tone was light, the Doctor's expression sobered. "I would, I really, really would. So I think I'll be keeping you. No more wandering off for you Rose Tyler."

There was a beat of silence as the pair stared at each other, and then Rose cleared her throat. "Anyways, there is something I want to do, and you aren't going to like it."

Ten minutes later, okay more like twenty minutes later, Rose was standing once again in front of the Master's holding cell. Bob was in the next room, supposedly to give her space to work but also to keep an eye on the Doctor. Rose had insisted she needed to face the Master on her own, and the Doctor equally insisted that he needed to be there. So they compromised. Jack was in his office, keeping Sapphire with him. He seemed to better understand her need to face the twisted Time Lord.

As for the Master, he was studying Rose like she was a particularly fascinating insect. "They're stronger now, did you do something?"

She gave a relaxed shrug at his comment. "Not me, no, but you are right, they are stronger. Means somethin's getting closer. Wouldn't it be better though if they were silent?"

His head tilted, and then his whole body shifted in that direction turning to pace. "Who would I be without the drums?"

"They've been there, almost your whole life right?" The Master shot her a look, but his silence was answer enough. "Yeah they have, which makes me think someone is using you."

"Nobody uses me! I am the Master!" He practically spits that part out whirling to advance on her, stopping just short of the barrier. Despite the machines trying to help balance out his energy, his whole body goes translucent for a moment, so his skeleton can be seen.

Rose doesn't flinch; she just keeps up the quiet calm exterior. "Oh that's so helpful to you. Get so mad you are doing their work for them. 'Cause the fact is, somethin's coming, and you, you are a part of it."

His eyes widened and he flashed from angry to almost childlike delight. "You saw something didn't you. I can taste the time on you, even from here."

She debated inwardly for a moment, while he gave a little giggle. The guy was a complete nutter, but it wasn't entirely his fault. It was more the madness because his mind had broken at some point. "Yeah, I did, had a little accident with the Time Vortex awhile back. It changed me. Now I can see things, but I'm learning how to keep it shut out, because seeing too much, it can drive you mad." Rose raised one eyebrow looking the Master straight in the eye. "Somethin' tells me you've had too much going on in your mind."

He jerked back from her eyes suddenly wide. Continuing to move back he dropped down to sit on the bench watching her. "You really do see it don't you."

Rose let the silence fall as he continued to stare at her. Finally, he spoke again. "Can you make it stop?"

She shifted her posture slightly, keeping her eyes on his face. "I think when whatever happens, happens, there won't be a signal anymore. No more drums in your head."

The silence falls again, both of them quiet while he processed that. "What happens then?" His eyes had dropped while he was thinking and they rose up again to her face as he asks.

She shook her head a little as she responded. "I don't know, but I do know that whatever is happening s'got somethin' to do with you. You are going to have to make a choice Koschei." There is the smallest of flinches when she used that name. "An' the choice is going to be if you are going to keep lettin' them use you, or break free and be your own man."

He bristled, shooting up to his feet, voice angry. "I am the Master, a Time Lord, and nobody uses me, I use them!"

Rose just gave a small shrug and turned to walk away. "Best you be telling them that mate."

His voice was harsh and angry as he yelled after her as she continued to walk away. "I am the Master, you hear me!? Nobody uses me, nobody!"

The door shut behind her, and she walked straight for the Doctor. He tentatively opened his arms and she walked straight into them, shivering a little. Carefully he enfolded her into a hug, holding her lightly. "You did pretty well in there."

Rose was grateful he didn't ask if she was okay, and she just closed her eyes and leaned into him, breathing in his scent. It was then she picked up on another subtle difference between the Doctor, and the other. Sickness of the mind apparently had its own sort of smell as well. She could smell it on the Master, and it she had caught the scent of it before on the other. One more difference to catalog and file away, one more thing to help her move forward. The other really was sick in mind.

Bob gave her a small pat on the arm as he moved past them to open the door. They could clearly hear him ask before they started to move away. "Has anyone ever told you, you are absolutely gorgeous when you are angry?"

The Doctor almost choked when he heard that, and Rose laughed. "And some people call me mad, are you sure we should leave him in there?"

Rose grinned up at him, pulling away just a bit though she caught his hand to keep them linked. "Yeah, Bob knows what he's doing. He may not always make sense at the time, but he knows what he is doing."

As they walked back in to the main part of the hub, a commotion started to get louder. They looked at each other and then hurried their steps. "What's this all about then?"

Mickey turned at the Doctor's voice, and gestured to an open padded box on the table. "We found this in the middle of a small crater right where you said the signal was coming from."

Moving closer the Doctor's face went blank; carefully studying what looked to be a large cut diamond. His voice was just above a whisper. "It can't be …"

"Can't be what," Mickey questioned."

"It's not possible; there is no way it could get here. It looks like a white star diamond. They were only found on Gallifrey.

They were all so focused on the diamond; no one was really looking at Rose at the moment. As for Rose, her eyes were locked on the diamond as well, and there was a loud thrumming in her head.


	27. Chapter 27 - Signal

**Everything starts coming to a head as Rose becomes the signal**

**Some of the dialog taken directly from the episode and altered to fit the plot.**

**-0-**

_…"Everything is still at risk and she's trying to warn me, but the roar of time is too loud. So she reached out to the open mind of an old soldier. When the warning comes, listen. You must listen and understand."_

_-0-_

.." "M'fine for now, but what's coming, I might get tangled up in, and that's dangerous. I think there is someone trying t'help, and I saw Wilf, Donna's Grandfather. You need t'talk to him, and I think I know why."

Rose's gaze went sharp, almost piercing as she transferred her gaze between the pair. "All of us, we have some sort of physic training on shielding, have to have it working here. So whoever is trying t'issue the warning can't get to us because we're more closed off. They settled for someone close to one of us, and open."

Martha nodded slowly, faint puzzlement clouding her features. "That makes sense, but why tell us, why not tell the Doctor? You sent him away just now so he wouldn't hear this didn't you?"

Giving them a small sad smile, Rose picked her words carefully as she explained. "Because he needed a puzzle to sharpen his mind, and emotion can cloud it. It's why I think he tries to push strong emotions away or aside, because they can cloud his thinking. Good, bad, any strong emotion or complete lack of can gum up the works. His big Time Lord brain was trained away from handling emotion."

_-0-_

_"It's not possible; there is no way it could get here. It looks like a white star diamond. They were only found on Gallifrey._

They were all so focused on the diamond; no one was really looking at Rose at the moment. As for Rose, her eyes were locked on the diamond as well, and there was a loud thrumming in her head.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~-0-~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On the outside, there was nothing extraordinary about Wilfred Mott. He was an old man, who sold newspapers and lived with his daughter. Sometimes his granddaughter lived there as well, but the life she had led most recently was most extraordinary. She was traveling with an alien, through space and time, in a blue box that was bigger on the inside. Wilf was an old solider that never had to kill anyone. The most he did was watch the stars and wonder.

Yet there was something more about this man, the old solider and star-gazer. His path randomly crossed the Doctor's on more than one occasion. This was something that was unusual to say the least, and highly improbable. Yet it happened, and now yet again he had a part to play in what was to come.

Wilf was just sitting on the couch watching the telly, when the screen started to distort. Grumbling he moved to try and adjust it, only to stop short as it settled, but it wasn't of the show he had been watching. Instead there was the woman, in a white suit, the same woman that had spoken to him in the church weeks ago. She was speaking to him again. "Events are moving Wilfred, faster than we thought."

Astonished he looked around to see if anyone else was seeing this, but no one was around. "Eh?"

The woman on the screen addressed him again. "Only you can see. Only you stand at the heart of coincidence."

Baffled, Wilf peered at the screen. "Why, what have I done?"

Her expression remained solemn as she looked at him. "You're and old solider, sir. Only you were too late. The war was won and passed you by."

Almost affronted, Wilfred responded to her. "I did my duty."

"And you must do it again." She fixed him with her piercing gaze. "Another war once raged on, and a part of it is pulling itself into your world. You must warn them Wilfred."

"War, what war? What the devil are you talking about?" He sputtered, looking thoroughly confused.

"One that threatens the entire universe, and the time of burning is nearly at hand. The Doctor is in grave danger, but he may yet live. However, when the Wolf howls, only an act of mad betrayal can reverse what was set in motion." With another burst of static, the screen went back to the show Wilfred was original show he was watching.

"Wait come back, what does that mean? Why are you telling me?" Wilf slapped the side of the telly several times, but the woman didn't come back.

"Wolf? Mad betrayal, it doesn't make any sense." He muttered to himself staring at the TV. "She said the Doctor, Donna would know." He reached for his phone, getting ready to dial only to have it ring in his hand. He nearly jumped but he answered it. "Hello?"

-0-

Martha watched Donna as she hung up the phone. "Well isn't that wizard, they give us a puzzle for a warning?"

With a blink, Martha's eyebrows narrowed. "So that is what he was told, when the wolf howls, only an act of an act of mad betrayal can reverse what was set in motion. But there aren't any wolves around here."

Donna's eyes tracked back and forth as she thought. "Wolf, I know I've heard that before with the Doctor. I just need to remember ….. " Her eyes widened and she started looking around. "Rose, the phrase bad wolf had to do with Rose."

They spotted her, no one else was really paying attention, but she was reaching into the protective box that held the diamond. Sucking in a breath Donna shouted out the warning. "Rose, don't touch that!"

Everyone looked up, and then turned to see what was going on, but it was too late. Rose's hand closed around the diamond, and drew it to her body to cage both hands around it. In that moment, several alarms rang out. The Doctor ran towards Rose, reaching for her. "Rose!"

The blonde failed to respond, her eyes though were swirling with gold and red, her body starting to be outlined in white gold light. "Rose, give it to me." His voice was filled with entreaty and he tried to pry her hands apart. Suddenly he jerked back, eyes wide as a beat filled his head, 1 2 3 4, 1 2 3 4, playing over and over until he dropped his hands.

"Doctor, what's going on?" Jack called over from the monitors.

Eyes wide he reached again for Rose's hands trying to pry them apart. "The signal, it's being boosted through her. This shouldn't be happening!"

"Being sent where Doctor, because we're picking up something being sent out," Mickey called from across the room.

"The Time Lords, it has to be but it can't! I Timelocked the war, everything was sealed inside a bubble so nothing could get in or out." Pausing he blanched as it hit him. "Unless the signal was already there, oh I'm so thick! It was staring me right in the face the whole time."

Martha spoke up, a puzzled look on her face. "The drums of the Master, that's what you mean. But, isn't the fact your people are coming back a good thing?"

It was Jack who answered her, his voice flat. "No, no it really isn't Martha. I knew all the legends of the Time War, and the Time Lords. Trust me; this is a very bad thing."

"But I've heard the Doctor talk about them, like they were wonderful." Martha's expression was still puzzled as she turned her gaze towards the Doctor."

"That's because that is how I choose to remember them, the Time Lords of old. But then they went to war. An endless war and it changed them right to the core. You've seen my enemies, Martha. The Time Lords are more dangerous than any of them." The Doctor stopped trying to pry Rose's hands apart, sticking his hands in his hair.

"Right," Mickey's fingers flew over the keyboard. "So how do we stop this signal, we only just figured out how to pick it up in the first place."

"You can't, it's being broadcasted through Rose on a psychic level. However she's been picking up the signal, it must have latched on to something in her. It's using her energy to broadcast it back, a signal they can follow back." He dropped his hands, starting at Rose. "And I don't know how to stop it."

-0-

As soon as she had seen the diamond, the beat had thrummed through her. It put her in a daze and she just had to pick up that diamond. A part of her fought the compulsion, tried to walk away, but she couldn't. And then it was in her hands, and she was thrown inside her head.

She suddenly tumbled into the console room, landing against the railing and gripping hard as equipment sparked around her. The leather jacketed Time Lord moved around the console at a frantic rate. "No, no no no no no!"

"What's happening," Rose called out frantically, eyes wide.

He looked up at her, and then back down as he moved around the console throwing levers, or at least trying to. "Remember that I said you had a spark of the Time Vortex inside you now?"

"Yeah?" Rose held on as a spray of sparks showered down from the ceiling."

The signal that's coming through that Whitepoint Star has latched on to it. It's using your body to transmit the signal back." His hands gripped the console in a white knuckled grip.

"Can you stop it?" Puling herself along, Rose tried to make her way over to his side.

"What do you think I've been trying to do?!" His look was filled with worry and frustration. He reached out to grab her and pull her close. "It's locked everything down and overloaded the system. I can't even shut you down so you go unconscious. It would take a huge electrical shock or stopping your hearts to shut it down now."

Rose closed her eyes thinking through the options, one hand clinging to his jumper and the other to the console. Destruction was coming, and right now it was her fault that it was coming, she had to do something. "Can you show me how to do that?"

He looked down at her, not quite comprehending. "Do what Rose?"

Opening up her eyes, she locked gazes with him. "Stop my hearts, so the signal is broken."

He stared down at her, utter shock with something deeper under his eyes. "You can't ask me to do that Rose, you just can't."

Determination shone out of her, and she looked back up at him. "Yes, I can. If the signal isn't stopped, everything burns. My life is not worth the cost of the universe."

"It is to me!" The admission burst out of him. "A part of me is him Rose, and you can't ask me to kill you. Risking you at Downing Street was one thing, but to cause your death literally by my hand, I can't do it, he can't do it. Not after everything we have been through. "

He wrapped an arm around her tight, tucking her under his chin. "Besides, everything has been overloaded. The systems are too new, too fragile. If they were older, stronger, then maybe, maybe you could have done it. Right now our best hope is that someone outside of you figures something out."

-0-

"Doctor," Donna called out to him, as he once more tried to pry Rose's fingers open. He pulled out the sonic, trying to see if he could get her locked muscles to relax. "What is it Donna, I'm busy!"

"I just talked to my Granddad; a woman sent him a warning. Rose told Martha that we should talk to him." The Doctor froze at Donna's words, turning around.

"What was the warning?" His voice was low and rough, his eyes dangerous.

"He was told, when the Wolf Howls, only an act of mad betrayal can reverse things." The Doctor raked a hand through his hair, turning back to look at Rose.

"But how can I betray Rose, again. How can I do something like that?" The Doctor studied her blank face, and the red and gold swirling in her eyes. "But if I don't ….."

With a hard swallow, he lifted his hands up to her temples, his voice a hoarse whisper. "Rose, forgive me."

The Doctor closed his eyes, and tried to ease his way into her mind, but he couldn't. A surge of energy violently threw him out, so strong that it caused a physical spark and he stumbled back from her. Wide eyed he stared, "I can't even get into her mind."

Watching it, Jack's face hardened, and he called out in a low voice. "Martha, get whatever you need to revive someone ready." Shooting him a look Martha gave a nod and moved towards the med-bay. Jack pulled out his sonic disruptor and checked it over. His voice was a soft murmur. "I hope to hell that stun will work."

Behind him, Ianto watched, taking in it all as he thought hard. He reached out to grab Gwen's arm. "Do you have your gun?"

She stared at him, "I'm not going to shoot Rose."

He shook his head at her harsh whisper. "That's not what I have in mind. The warning said _mad_ betrayal. I think what we might need is a madman." As Gwen turned to follow Ianto, the room shook. They exchanged a look and started to hurry.

In the front of the room, the Doctor stared at the bright white light that was coalescing in front of him. The room shook again, and what was one end of the Hub, resolved into a white space one step up. There are five Time Lords standing there, the one in the center had a light smug smile on his face. Two behind him had their heads bent forward, their faces covered with both hands so their features were covered. Two more Time Lords stood on either end, proudly facing the room. "My Lord Doctor, we are gathered for the end."

The Doctor's voice was a hoarse whisper, "Rassilon."

"It is a fitting paradox that our salvation comes at the hands of one of our most infamous children. Though I did think we would see the Lord Master here," Rassilon's voice was smooth, and held a hint of triumph in it. "I find your current company somewhat, questionable."

There was a metal gauntlet on his hand, and he held it out. An arch of energy tracked through the room, shocking Jack, Donna, and Mickey, causing them to stumble.

"On your knees, mankind."

Having little choice, the energy arch forced them to their knees. The Doctor stepped between Rassilon and Rose. "Let her go, let them go, your quarrel is with me."

The other Time Lord seemed almost, amused by the Doctor's demand. "Oh it is far too late for that my Lord Doctor, the approach begins."

Understanding dawns on the Doctor's face as the ground shakes, his voice hard and angry. "You aren't just bringing back the Time Lords; you are bringing back the entire planet!"


	28. Chapter 28 - Betrayal and Hope

**The show down between the Doctor and Rassilon.**

** I wanted to get it out quickly before I had to face a lynch mob! A small note, I have been taking some dialog directly from The End of Time, to help keep it true to nature. Very clearly my own twists added in! Definite moments of angst and feels for this chapter, I hope you enjoy. Epilog should be up tomorrow**

**-0-**

_Having little choice, the energy arch forced them to their knees. The Doctor stepped between Rassilon and Rose. "Let her go, let them go, your quarrel is with me."_

The other Time Lord seemed almost amused by the Doctor's demand. "Oh it is far too late for that my Lord Doctor, the approach begins."

Understanding dawns on the Doctor's face as the ground shakes, his voice hard and angry. "You aren't just bringing back the Time Lords; you are bringing back the entire planet!"

~~~~~~~~~~~-0-~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gwen and Ianto moved quickly thought the Hub to the Master's holding cell. Bob was there on his feet, looking in the direction that they had come from. "What the hell is going on out there?"

The normally unflappable telepath was disturbed, and it showed. "Something terrible, the signal is being broadcasted back somewhere through Rose and the Doctor can't stop it." Gwen explained, as Ianto moved to unlock the cell.

The Master had a wide eyed almost gleeful smile. "My drums, they are coming here? Oh you have to let me see them! She was right, they are real!"

Bob raised his eyebrows, his voice rising slightly, full of concern. "Is it wise to be letting him out there?"

Pausing Ianto turned his head to look at Bob. "No, it's a bit mad actually, but something a bit mad may be exactly what we need."

The Master rubbed his hands together, his wide manic grin spread across his face. Gwen gave him a hard look, making a show of readying her weapon. "Now look you, I don't trust you, so one wrong move and I won't hesitate to shoot, are we clear?"

Unperturbed he just grinned back at him. "As crystal, now then shall we?"

Exchanging a glance, Gwen nodded at Ianto and he opened the door to the cell. The Master skipped out of his cell, on his way to the door into the Hub. The ground shook and Gwen shot a look back at Bob. "Stay back here, if something happens, someone has to get out."

He snapped to attention and gave her a mock salute, "aye, aye Ma'am." Gwen rolled her eyes and gave him a small smile, before turning to follow Ianto and the Master.

Just before they were to enter the hub, the Master stopped, holding a finger up to his mouth. "Shhhhhhhh, lets see what they are up to shall we? I always did like making a grand entrance when the time is right."

The Doctor's voice rolled through the hub, as he stood facing Rassilon and the other Time Lords. "But if the Timelock's broken, then everything's coming through. Not just the Daleks, but the Skaro Degradations, the Horde of Travesties, the Nightmare Child, the Could-have-been King with his army of Meanwhiles and Never-weres. The War turned into hell. And that's what you've opened, right above the Earth. Hell is descending. Not even the Time Lords can survive that, but you know that don't you."

The smile on Rassilon's face was almost serene. "We will initiate the Final Sanction. The end of time will come at my hand. The rupture will continue until it rips the Time Vortex apart."

Angry, the Doctor protested. "That would destroy everything, the entire universe, including you."

Behind them Jack checked his sonic blaster, swearing softly when he realized the electrical arc that had taken them down had also ruined the gun. He looked over to Mickey, who shook his head slightly. Gritting his teeth, Jack hoped one of the others had a working weapon, or a way out of this mess.

Rassilon ignored the small byplay, focusing on the Doctor. "We will ascend to become creatures of consciousness alone. Free of these bodies, free of time, and cause and effect, while creation itself ceases to be."

Disgusted, the Doctor's voice was rough with anger. "Only at the cost of every single living thing in the universe, you can't do this."

"Oh, but I can my Lord Doctor. I am doing it, and you can't stop me. But you need not worry, you won't be ascending with us, and neither will my Lord Master." Rassilon's smile if anything got wider at that.

"You just used him and now you are going to throw him away? It was you wasn't it, you planted that signal in him when he was eight years old, and it's driven him mad his entire life. You see living creatures as tools for your own end." The Doctor's gaze turned towards Rose, pain in his eyes and flickering on his expression.

"Lesser beings are of no consequence to me. You have proven yourself that with you association with mankind." Rassilon waved a hand at the folks in the hub. "The Master proved it with his weakness in mind."

"We aren't the people trying to destroy the entire universe!" Jack's voice whipped out, and for a moment the Master's expression grew dark. "You will hold your tongue in the presence of your betters."

"If I was in the presence of greater beings I might do that, but I'm not." In response, Rassilon lifted his hand bearing the gauntlet; an electrical current lashed out and hit Jack squarely. The captain's back arched, and he collapsed on to the ground.

Angry, the Doctor turned to face Rassilon. "Is that what a Time Lord is? To hurt others just because you can, to destroy life you deem to be lesser then your own? You are the one that caused the Master to become mad, you warped the mind of a child to use to your own ends!"

In their hidden spot, the Master's face hardened. Anger and resolve spreading across his face. His hands balled into fists, and his whole body flickered, flesh momentarily going translucent once more.

Unrepentant, Rassilon seemed amused at what the Doctor was saying. "We are superior beings, and the fact that we can, and will, ascend proves that."

"How about I just shoot you and end this all now," Rassilon turned to face the voice. The Doctor whipped around to see Martha approaching. A medical bag was on her shoulder and a gun in her hands. She had it up and aimed at Rassilon. "Seems to me if we break the signal you lot can't get through and ascent."

"Oh that won't do you any good, the signal is linked back through the High Council, and the five of us here are just the first through. Shoot me and I'll regenerate and ascend anyways." Martha faltered at Rassilon's smug smile of triumph, but kept her gun trained on him.

The Doctor's voice was hoarse as he turned towards Rose. "She anchors you here, I can't disrupt the signal in her, but I can bring her through your portal and feed it back to the High Council. That will prevent everyone and everything from coming through."

Now Rassilon's face twists, a hint of anger in his voice. "Then you will both burn with us."

"I know," the Doctor seemed calm now, resolute. "But I know Rose, and she would gladly sacrifice herself to save the universe, as would I."

"Doctor you can't go with her, the universe needs you here." Martha called out, and the Doctor turned to face her. "And I need Rose; I won't leave her, not again, not ever again."

"How about we try something else," the Master's voice rang out catching everyone's attention. He had stepped out, Gwen and Ianto flanking him. Their weapons were up and trained on the Time Lord guards.

"I am the Master, and I will not be used by anyone, not even you!" His face was twisted with anger. "So, first things first, we disrupt the signal. Stand back Doctor, no need for both of you to die."

"I won't leave her," the Doctor stepped forward to put himself between the Master and Rose.

"Well, if I have to …." The Master extended his hands and blasted the Doctor with an electrical blast of his own, knocking him back.

Mickey had been overlooked in the unfolding drama, and had been stealthily moving. He caught the Doctor and rapidly locked him in a hold, pinning his arms behind his back and using leverage. The Doctor thrashed in his hold but couldn't break free. "Mickey, let me go!"

"Sorry boss," a trace of tears was in his eyes as he lifted his gaze to Rose. "You are right that she'd willing sacrifice herself to save the universe, but she wouldn't want you to throw your life away. Sometimes you have to make the hard choices, she taught me that." He nodded towards the Master. "Just do it."

"If any of them move, shoot them." The Master glanced at the trio holding weapons and lifted his hands palms out towards Rose. "The drums are mine, and no one else should have them, not even her!"

A blast of energy licked out from his hands and struck Rose squarely. Her back started to arc as he held the energy on her, her mouth open in a silent scream. "Rose!" The Doctor tried to break free, and Mickey barely managed to hold him. Finally she started to crumple, and the energy blast from the Master cut off. Mickey released the Doctor and he darted forward to catch her. A cracked and blackened Whitepoint Star fell from her hands, skittering across the floor.

The white field surrounding the five Time Lords flickered, and the Master turned to face them. "And now you, you did this to me! All of my life! You made me! One! Two! Three! Four!" At each count, he sent a blast at Rassilon, making him fall to his knees. "And we'll all go to hell together!"

One of the Time Lords who had their face covered with their hands looked up. She looked right at the Doctor, a small sad smile on her face. He could only stare back at her, a name frozen on his lips. Then the white field collapsed back into itself, taking the five Time Lords and the Master back into the Time Lock.

The Doctor scooped up a limp Rose in his arms, and sprinted towards the Tardis. The doors swung open at his approach, he dashed through the console room to the hallway and into the med-bay. Jack was still down, Gwen and Ianto moved to his side. Mickey Martha and Donna trailed behind the Doctor, exchanging uneasy looks.

Depositing Rose on the bed, he pulled over the monitors, quickly scanning her. He looked at the displays, a frantic look on his face. "No ….."

Donna came up behind him, keeping her voice soft. "What do they say?"

Sticking his hands in his hair, he turned his head to look at Martha. "She's been too badly damaged; the stress of the signal and the electrical shock damaged everything. I can't fix it."

Martha's voice was quiet from the other end of the bed, holding a hint of hope. "Rose is not just human anymore, will she regenerate?"

Pulling his hands from his hair the Doctor stared at Martha, and then down to Rose. "She isn't fully Time Lord either, and that is a Time Lord trick. I don't, I don't know. It depends on how much she integrated."

A frantic meeping sound trailed in from the hallway, Sapphire burst in and swarmed up the Doctor. Wrapping her tail around his neck she leaned forward towards Rose, crooning. She had broken free from where Jack stashed her for safety and made her way there.

The Doctor lurched forward, desperation in his face as he gathered Rose's body towards him. "I can't loose her, not now, not when I finally have her back." He pressed a kiss to her forehead, and swiftly bent his head to whisper something into her ear. Pulling back, he stared down at her face. "Don't leave me, please." His head sank forward to rest his forehead against hers. "Please …"

-0-

Inside her head, it had been a rather rough ride. The leather jacketed Doctor had braced himself around her, doing his best to shield her from the sprays of sparks. What surprised her was the whole time, she could hear everything. Everything anyone had said echoed through the console room.

When the Master had hit them with the electrical blast, the whole room shook. Sparks burst from various equipment, the lights flickered and faltered until it was over and the room went dark. Well mostly dark, a faint blue green light flickered from the Time Rotor. Rose's voice finally broke the silence. "Am I dead?"

Her protector wrapped one arm around her, and released his grip on the center console before he answered her. "Not quite, not yet, but you are dying."

Her hands clutched to his jumper in the darkness, the frantic voice of the Doctor echoing through the room. "Can I fix it?"

In the dim light he shifted so their gazes locked. "Now is the time you have to choose Rose Tyler. Th' signal threw you into your head, and while th' shock went through your body, it left this part of you disconnected, but alert."

"You protected me, kept this part of me alert." It was statement, not a question and he answered her quietly. "Yes, so you would have a chance to make a choice."

"To regenerate, what happens if I do?" The back of his fingers from his free hand brushed down her face before he answered. "You live, everything becomes fully under your control but you'll still need to learn and practice how to use it. I become more fully a part of this place; you won't really need this me anymore."

"No! I'll always need you." She burrowed her face against his chest. "And you'll always have me, and not just th' me out there. Remember what I told you?"

Her voice was soft, muffled slightly. "There will always be a part of you, in my mind and my hearts."

"An' I am in him; everything that makes me, me, it's there inside him as well. So you won't be loosing me Rose Tyler. Not now, not ever. If you ever truly need me, I'll be here to hold your hand."

She picked her head up to look at him and then in that moment, the Doctor's hoarse whisper echoed in that room. "I should have finished this sentence long ago, Rose Tyler, I love you, and it does need to be said." She closed her eyes, letting out a shuddering breath.

Then, there was another whisper, something soft and musical sounding, but it wasn't in English. She puzzled over it, not able to translate it now, having only access to her native tongue with everything shut down. She looked up into this Doctor's face, registering his astonished expression. "Well, tha' I wasn't expecting."

Puzzled, she studied him. "Expecting what, what was that Doctor?"

"That, Rose Tyler, was his name. A secret he'll never tell anyone else in the universe." He took in her astonished expression with a slight smile. "Th' only way he could tell someone is if he was dying, or, to his wife. He could be telling it to you now for a couple of reasons."

He brushed a hand over her hair, unknowingly mimicking the other Doctor by pressing a kiss to her forehead. "He could be equating you dying, with him dying, meaning he doesn't want to live without you. There is also an old, very old belief from the ancient times. If you found a way to connect who you really are inside to a loved one, you can find each other, even if death parts you."

The pinstriped Doctor's voice echoed again in the room. ""Don't leave me, please. Please….."

"An' now he's resorted to begging, see what you do to me Rose Tyler?" He smiled at her in the dim light as she made a sound that was half laugh, half sob. "The choice is still yours. You can choose to live, and by the sounds of it, with him. Or, you can just let go. If you choose to live, there will still be pain, you will still struggle, regeneration resets your body, but not what's in your heart."

"But it will be worth it, him and me. Scars can fade, but only if they are given time." He beamed his smile at her response, giving her a crushing hug. "That's my precious girl, so go on now, live a fantastic life."

He let her go, and she gave him a tongue touched smile. "I will Doctor, and I'll make you proud."

Shaking his head slightly, his voice was warm in response. "You don't have to worry about tha', because you already have."

Her smile grew even larger and she turned. Leaning over the console, she placed her hands on the time rotor and closed her eyes, concentrating.

-0-

The pinstriped Doctor had his eyes closed, so he didn't see the first flush of gold tinged energy that flashed over Rose's face. Martha had her face burned against Mickey's chest, and he had both arms wrapped around her. Donna hand a arm on the Doctor's unoccupied shoulder. Mickey, however, did have his eyes on Rose, and she did see it. "What was that?"

The Doctor pulled back a little, opening his eyes. "What was what?"

Martha turned in Mickey's arms, looking at Rose now. Another flush of golden energy washed across Rose's body and the Doctor's eyes widened. "That, what was that?"

Pulling back a bit more, a wide smile spread across the Doctor's face and his voice was full of hope. "That, Mr. Mickey, was the start of a regeneration cycle. Come on Rose, you can do it, my clever brilliant girl, I know you can!"

There was another flush of golden energy over her body, stronger now. "That's it, you can do it, just let go!" He urged her on, Sapphire thrumming her own encouragement from his shoulder.

Suddenly she was glowing golden all over and he slipped off his half perch on the bed, taking a step back. "You might want to shield your eyes for this next bit." There was glee in his voice as he warned them.

The warning came just in time, as a brilliant blast of golden energy started shooting out from Rose. Her back arched off the bed, her expression obscured by the golden pulse of energy. Then it vanished and she sat up abruptly, turning towards them, her eyes landing on the Doctor's face. A wide grin spread as she gave him their traditional greeting. "Hello."

She still looked mostly the same; her hair was a touch longer and with a bit of a wave to it. Red gold highlights shone in her hair, and her brown eyes had golden flecks in it. The Doctor registered all that, but the mere fact that she was alive and smiling at him took his full attention. He gave a little giggle at her greeting, before he responded in kind. "Hello."

Then with a happy sound at the back of his throat he ran the few steps over, and wrapped both arms around her. Pulling her off the bed he swung her in a tight circle before crushing her to him in a hug. Rose buried her face in his neck, before moving to murmur quietly in his ear. "I heard everything, I love you too, my Doctor."

He pulled back just enough to look her in the eyes, resting his forehead on hers.

"Everything?"

"Yep," Rose grinned at him with her tongue touched smile.

"So you heard ….." His voice trailed off, searching her eyes for answers.

"Yep, an' I know what it is." Her eyes only shone with happiness, and her love for him.

"That alright?"

His smile which had faltered grew wide again. "Oh yes, that's really, really, alright."

The Doctor couldn't have stopped himself if he wanted to, which he most certainly didn't. He found himself slanting his lips over hers, pulling her up into a passionate kiss, to which Rose responded. Sapphire gave an approving thrum from her perch, now on Rose's shoulder, tail touching the Doctor.

From the hallway came a voice with an American accident. "Well it's about damn time."

The couple pulled apart, to see a newly self resurrected Jack grinning at them. Ianto, Gwen and Bob were with him.

Mickey was actually staring at the Doctor with an expression that was half puzzled, half horrified. "Did he actually…giggle?"

Martha had been resting her cheek against his chest, one arm around him. She pulled back to give him a swat. "Ow," Micky rubbed his arm, what was that for?"

Donna had tears in her eyes, and she moved towards the Doctor. "Oh shut it you." She called to Mickey as she moved to Rose and the Doctor to throw her arms around her two best friends.

Laughter rippled around the group, and for that moment, everything was perfect.


	29. Chapter 29 - Epilog

**Where I wanted to take the story is mostly concluded, but I wanted something a bit sweet to wrap it up with. I hope you enjoy it, and a huge thank you to all the folks that read, reviewed and favorited this story. **

**I have other stories that I might upload as well, if you all enjoyed. Thanks so much for letting me share this story!**

**-0-**

_ months later… _

Rose and the Doctor grinned at each other as they dashed around the console driving the Tardis. Donna was hanging on the rail as the ship lurched. She rolled her eyes in fond affection as the Tardis landed with a jolt, and the two of them fellow over laughing. "You two are bonkers, you know that right?"

They moved their heads to direct their grins at her, and Rose was the one that answered her with glee. "Probably, and you are the one that travels with us, so what does that make you?"

"Completely mad," Donna deadpanned.

"Well then we're all in good company." The Doctor scrambled up to his feet, giving Rose a hand up.

Giving the Doctor a quick kiss on the cheek, Rose dashed to the Tardis door and outside of it. There was lightness to her step and manner now. One that brought a smile to the Doctor's face, he watched her go as Donna moved over to his side. "She's gotten so much better hasn't she?"

He glanced over at Donna, before looking back through the Tardis' door. In the distance he could see Jack spinning Rose around in a hug, and heard their laughter. He shoved his hands in his pockets as he grinned. "Yeah, she really has."

"So, just remember when you two start shagging, keep it behind locked doors please. I really don't want to walk into that." Donna elbowed him with a broad wink.

"Donna!" The Doctor flustered a faint blush spreading across his cheeks.

"Oh don't give me that Spaceman. I've seen the two of you cuddled up on the couch reading Harry Potter of all things." Amusement laced her tone, obviously enjoying teasing him.

"But that's, that's different!" He sputtered and might have said more, but he saw Rose's head turn in his direction. "Wellllllll let's go visit Jack." Giving a snort of amusement, Donna followed the rapidly retreating Doctor.

Jack released Rose, and she moved towards the Doctor reaching to straighten his tie. "What's wrong is Donna winding you up again?"

"What, no! No, why would you think…. well yes, maybe a little."

Rose laughed as she grabbed his hand and pulled him towards a grinning Jack. "Just in time Doc, I thought you guys were going to miss it."

Hand firmly holding Rose's he gave Jack a puzzled look. "Miss what, what's going on?"

"My wedding mate, it's tomorrow." Mickey's voice sounded from across the room, and Rose's face brightened again.

"Mickey!" With a laugh she dropped the Doctor's hand and ran over to envelope him in a hug. "I didn't forget, and I asked the Tardis to make sure we arrived a day early."

"Thanks babe," Mickey hugged her back. He flashed a grin in the Time Lord's direction. "If you left the driving up to the boss there, you might have shown up in time for my five year anniversary."

"Oi! I am a perfectly good driver." The Doctor huffed, putting on his best offended face.

"I thought you told Martha you failed the TARDIS driving test?" Releasing Rose, Mickey couldn't resist teasing the Doctor.

"I'll have you know, that was a very long time ago. I've gotten to be a much better driver since then." The Doctor gave a sniff. "Anyways that's not important, what's important is you are getting married tomorrow Mr. Mickey. Blimey, does that mean I'll have to wear a tux, very bad idea for me to wear a tux. Bad things happen, what's wrong with a suit, I have a perfectly good suit." As he blustered Rose moved back to his side, slipping her arm through his.

"Naw mate, you are off the hook there. I think Martha said after what happened the last time you wouldn't be allowed in wearing a Tux." That made the Doctor pause, not quite sure if that was a victory or an insult.

To the side Jack watched the byplay as Donna waded in adding her own opinion. A small smile danced on his lips as he watched Rose and the Doctor together. His eyes flicked over when Bob came up beside him, beaming a smile. "Think they are going to make it?"

"Well how should I know that?" Bob's expression was innocent as he looked up at Jack. But then his expression shifted. "She's come a long way, the scars will always be there, but love and laughter can do wonders. It looks like she's got a lot of that now."

"And she always will if I have anything to say about it." Jack's statement was simple and very matter of fact.

"You sound like you're the one in love with her." It was a low voiced opinion, but Jack just smiled.

"Naw, she's just family and you look after family. We'll have a very long time to look after each other." He seemed completely at ease with that statement.

"Can't be easy, knowing they have something you can't have, someone that won't age and die on you." The small man tipped his head to look up at Jack, his tone mild.

Jack just smiled as he saw Ianto wander in and look over at him. "I don't need forever, maybe I'll get my heart broken every now and then, but, there are people that are worth it."

"Good, something I don't have to worry about." With a satisfied smile Bob moved towards the happy group, giving his own enthusiastic greeting. "Hey there sexy thing, nice of you to visit I know you haven't gotten over me yet. Oh hello Rose, how are you doing?"

****-0-****

The Doctor swept Rose around the Dance floor at the reception, not in the dreaded tux, but he didn't look out of place. It wouldn't have bothered him if he did though, he only cared about the fact that he had Rose Tyler in his arms, and she was happy. "They look so happy."

At Rose's statement he flicked a glance over to Martha and Mickey, dancing closely together not that far from them. "Yeah they do, I'm still waiting for them to say thank you though."

Rose looked up at him in surprise. "Thank you for what, Doctor, what did you do?"

At her warning tone, he was hasty to reassure her. "Nothing bad, no really, I didn't do anything. Wellll nothing except the fact that they met because of me, so see I did something very important."

Tipping her head back in a laugh she grinned at him. "Anyone ever tell you that you can be so full of it sometimes?"

"Once or twice, okay maybe it's been said a few more times than that, but Rose I'm full of so many different things. Some of them really good, don't forget how intelligent I am, and clever, you can't forget clever."

"And you're so modest." Rose rolled her eyes at him."

"Yes! Of course I'm so very modest. Wait a minute, Rose Tyler, are you mocking me?" He adopted an injured look as she laughed. It only lasted a brief moment, her smile and laughter was his goal after all.-

He swung her around the dance floor a bit more, and then she noticed he was tugging on his ear. "Doctor what is it?"

The Doctor dropped his hand to put it back on her waist. "Rose, do you want, do you want all this?"

A puzzled look spread on her face as she tried to decipher his hesitant question. Suddenly her expression cleared and she smiled as she shook her head. "No Doctor, this is what they needed. I don't need some fancy earth wedding to know I belong to you and you belong to me. Besides haven't we accidently gotten married like fifty times already?"

"Yeah, but those don't count." He dismissed those with a shake of the head.

Rose tipped her head studying his face and waited. She could tell there was something shifting in that brain of his. She didn't have to wait long. "What about this, something simpler, something that's maybe Gallifreyan?"

A slow smile spread across her face as she looked up at him. "Doctor, are you asking me to marry you?"

"Well technically we are married in the strictest sense I just thought you might like it. You know we can kidnap Jack for you and Donna for me and maybe go to Woman Wept or something like that. What do you think?" He watched her intently as they danced.

"You are! You are asking me to marry you. Well the answer is yes, you daft alien." He grinned widely and pulled her in for a short soft kiss. One not of passion, but tender with promise.

"You know I just think I'll keep you Rose Tyler."

"Oh yeah? Well just how long are you going to keep me Doctor?"

"Forever."


End file.
